I'll try to make this as short and sweet as possible: There was this girl I know, and her and this guy grew up together in this small home town. He was 17, she was 18 when they fell in love. They were ripped apart by the girls parents because of religious differences. Because of their youth, and immaturity and the girls desire to please her parents, she remained out of contact with the guy despite the fact that the guy spent years searching for her.
A couple years later,the girl met another man. Because of the same religious issues,they married. The girl didn't want to marry, but this man had committed some minor sexual indescretions with her, and told her that they had to either marry or tell her dad what they had done.
This girl had an unnerving desire not to displease her dad with this info, and thought she was in love at the time with this man, so she eloped with this man.
Years of unhappiness followed. After four years of unstable marriage, a child was born....
2007-10-04 17:39:10 · 4 answers · asked by lockedbeauty 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At a moment of desperation one day, this girl found her ex and contacted him with the intention of just saying hello.
Things led into more talking on a more regular basis, and they find they are still best friends. This girl now realizes what a mistake it was to allow religious differences to split her apart from some one she grew up with and basically had known her whole life and force her into an unhappy situation.
What do you if you were in such a situation?
2007-10-04 17:45:19 · update #1
(It wasn't me. It was my friend.)
2007-10-04 17:59:23 · update #2
Husband has consistently and repeatedly failed to be a good provider before and after the child was born. At this point my friend and her family are homeless due to the husband.
2007-10-04 18:29:29 · update #3
I might say that they have to stay together to save the marriage but for a few words in what you tell us, like "he told her that they had to either marry or tell her dad what they had done" and "years of unhappiness followed"as well as "After 4 years of unstable marriage." because of those words, I would say that she should file for divorce. On the other hand, she should not rush into the relationship with the lost love too fast but let it grow, or not grow, as they get to know each other again. With all the time together that they have already lost, another year or so will not seem that long if they are getting aquainted again.
2007-10-04 18:06:49 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nicely written.
There are thousands of situations similar to this one out there. Romance vs. reality. What do we do?
Well, we all make choices in this life. Some turn out to be good ones, some bad. We can change the way our life is going if we don't like it, but there are consequences and when children come along, we cannot simply think of ourselves.
Your friend made a lot of choices that turned out not to be the best ones that she could have made. When she made her wedding promises, she concluded a legally binding relationship with another human being and brought another life into the world. They are now a family.
Mr. Ex-boyfriend is no longer part of the picture in the real life of your friend. He exists as an element of her past that no longer has a valid place in her life. Her life now consists of a husband and child. If there is no abuse, the husband is a good provider for his wife and child, then there is at least a good reason to maintain the status quo.
Life isn't always lived happily ever after. We make choices. We live with them and make the best of them.
2007-10-04 18:12:02 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that this man you married blackmailed you into it, and quite frankly you shouldn't have given in because of that. Chances are, he wouldn't have told becasue of being embarassed himself. But, now that it is said and done, the question is, are you still married to him? If you are, then it will not be right for you to even contact your ex love. You cannot pursue a relationship with him due to your marriage and that would be very selfish to interrupt his life and fill him with false hopes. Not to mention, morally wrong to go behind your spouses back and begin a relationship with someone else. Sorry there is no fairy tale ending to this story. Best thing to do is make the best out a not so good situation and let your ex find someone else who is single and can be a real spouse to him and him only. If you really love him, then you will do what is best for him.
2007-10-04 17:51:31 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. T 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NOT unless there were children involved. PAST is past and it needs to stay gone.
2007-10-04 17:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋