How can my husband get custody of his 12 year old son?

Question

Fathers, lawyers, attorneys, law students, custodial dads, PLEASE HELP! My husband is going to be going to court next month to try and get custody of his 12 year old son. I need ANY information I can gather on what we need to do, not do, and know before we go to court. Any secret Texas laws about custody? Just a brief history: My now husband was with the mother of his child on and off for the first 8 years of the childs life. It was not a good relationship. They often broke up. Now they have been separated for about 4 years. I am not married to him. During the course of the last 3 years the mother has moved around a lot, been fired from several jobs, gone through several short term relationships, and is now living with her mother. My husband and I have been together for 3 years. We both have stable, well paying jobs. We feel that he would be the best custodial parents because the mother is not very responsible. She does not spend time with him. Never buys him new things, or clothes, and never takes him places. She is not responsible with money and will more than likely never be able to send him to college when the time comes. She often comes to my husband for "extra" money in addition to the child support her is already paying. i.e. for clothes, school supplies, birthday/christmas gifts, etc. His son has openly admitted that the child support my husband pays her goes directly to her mothers bills because she also is apparently suffering financially. Sorry for the lengthy posting but we are DESPERATE. The child and I also have a really good relationship even though I am only the step-mom. I love him dearly and want nothing but for him to come live with us. I worry about his future if her doesn't. Thank you to any one that can help me. :) Leah

Answer 1

Hi from one step mom to another. I want to help as much as I can the first thing I can tell is see if you can get a lawyer. If you cant afford one I know one in North Central Texas that is very good and takes payments. He is our Lawyer. My husband and I just got custody of his three boy's 16,13,9. if you can't afford the Lawyer here are some books you can read. the first one is Child custody, Visiation and Support in Texas written by Traci Truly attorney at law. The other is The Child Custody Book by Judge James W. Stewert. And another call Father's Rights by Jeffery M. Leving. Like I said these will help you. If you want click on my profile and send me an email and i will give you our attorney's name maybe he can help. He got us Custody and her having supervised visitation. even longer story then yours. anyway hope this helps. Good Luck. and if you want anymore info on what to do you can send me an email and i will do what i can to help. we've had our kids now for 3 years good Luck again. Oh and there is a peace of paper the boy can sign at twelve saying how he wants to live with.

Answer 2

At 12 in the state of TX the court will consider Son’s wishes. But the court considers many other things as well, and they do not have to abide by the child’s wishes.

I’d advise you to seek advice from a local attorney. You need a firm handle on what your argument should be, because a lot of the things that you mentioned are irrelevant and may do more damage than good if you attempt to use them.

For example:
‘she never buys him new things, never takes him places, will not be able to send him to college’ – that’s all irrelevant.

‘she’s gone through several short term relationships,’ – completely irrelevant, unless she’s moved all these men into the home and/or they had mistreated the child (but even then, if they are no longer a part of the child’s life and she’s stopped this behavior….)

As far as the child support…child support is not merely for clothes, school supplies, gifts, and the like. The purpose of child support is to assist her in providing the child with the *necessities* of life--shelter, utilities, food, etc. So, as long as the child has those things (even if someone else—such as her parents—are paying for part of it), then the court will tell you real fast that you have no say in how she spends the money.

If you’re not married and you live together this could hurt Dad’s case IF Mom wants to make a stink about it. And if you’re not married, you’re not the step-mother (although you may feel like it) and even if you were the step-mother, a step-parent has no legal rights, so bottom line—this is entirely DAD’S case. And some judges do not look too kindly on 3rd party (that would be you) interference.

Talk to an attorney and get a strategy in place.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You need a really good attorney. Scrape together the bucks and hire one. (I work for a divorce attorney in another state.) Whether the child can decide at a certain age, depends on the state and I don't know TX law. In my state, child support is supposed to help pay bills such as rent/mortgage, utilities, gasoline, car payments, etc. Those are part of the expenses of raising a child. But she sounds like she doesn't have her act together. A good attorney will be able to help you.

Answer 4

Are you married to him or not? In one sentence you state you are not married and the next sentence you are.

What you must realize is she is the boy's mother. Unless she is abusive, a drug user or an alcoholic, her fitness as a parent cannot really be challenged.

The monthly child support is a drop in the bucket compared to what it really costs to raise a child. I"m sure she doesn't have alot of money for extras and if he has a father that does, then the child does not have to to without.

Your husband can try to get custody but it is an expensive ordeal., unless they mutually agree to it beforehand.

Answer 5

this matter has to go to family court he has to file for custody he have to get list of her jobs lengths of time and reason why she is not there.show unfit reasons at the age of the child he can speak to the family court on his own and let them know who he want to live with and why and also, keep all info. on what you both have bought for him how often what for. there is proof that he is needed in your home GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS

Answer 6

Are you sure your son doesn't want to see his dad? Are you withholding visitation? Don't put the kid in the middle of it. Talk to the judge in your case about what the ex is saying .It isn't fair to the child.

Answer 7

legal speaking. if he can prove her unfit as a mother the courts will give him his son. and in many states the legal age a child can choose witch parent is .12. years of age hat law in many states . my opion?

Answer 8

I think you should get a job.
Stay out this boys life, his Daddy is his parent not YOU.
His mother is his Mommy not YOU.

Answer 9

At 12, he is old enough to decide who he wants to live with...all he has to do is tell the judge he wants to live with his Father.

Answer 10

you sound insecure, and wanting the mom out of your husbands life...let him deal with this, as he is the father!