I've been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs and i love him so much.. I am sure that he is the love of my life and i know that he loves me too.
We are planning to get married soon.
Sometimes i get this intense fear that he will fall in love with someone else..and that we will divorce..or that he will cheat on me ..or something bad will happed.. it trust him but what will happen in 1oyrs, 15yrs, 20yrs!! how can i know ??? will he fall in love wiht someone else??im so scared that someday he wil come up to me and tell me "im sorry but i dont love you as much as i used to, im seeing someone else!!!" im so scared!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-04 15:55:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is part of life and maybe because you seen this maybe in your parent's relationship?
Nobody ever thinks about divorce it is sometihing that happens over time. If he truly loves you and you love him then the marriage willl succeed.
The biggest piece of advice that I can give is that if there is a problem between you and your husband you sit down and discuss it calmly.
Make sure that at least once a month you go out and spend time as friends do something you both enjoy. DO you share any hobbies?
The biggest problem in marriage is different needs and desires in bed? Think of ways that you can keep it exciitinig? He should also respect your needs and desires.
IF you both work at it the marriage will succeed and you both will be very happy \
I wish you the best and hope it works out for you. If you want to chat sometime let me know.
Give him little surprises every now and then.
2007-10-04 20:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by will_955 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are scared may well be that you lack confidence in yourself Try to do things to build that up and then take life day by day. Get a new hairdo that you like, work a crossword puzzle all the way through, learn a new language on the computer, go to pogo.com and build up a massive number of points - whatever it takes to build up your self esteem. I think a good site is aamt.com perhaps but not sure of that.
You might even find some things you can do together which will help your self esteem - go bowling and get a strike, go somewhere and sing karaoke if you are old enough for bars.
Just take life one moment at a time. There is no guarantees in life so just enjoy one moment at a time and don't worry about what may happen or you could even cause it to - called a self fulfilling prophesy. Good luck to you!!
2007-10-04 17:12:23 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a bunch of friends that were dating for years and as soon as they got married, they got divorced. Most did not last a year. If you have been dating for so long it may be best to stay out of marriage. Marriage puts a stress on both partners in such a way that people who have been dating a long time are not expecting. Both of you are used to the dating relationship and think that marriage will just be better. But that is not true. Most couples are surprised at how marriage all of a sudden complicates the relationship.
Dating for 5 yrs is good as married. If u r living together and sleeping together, what good is a "marriage certificate" for you? U are right to be worried.
Instead of geting rid of ur intense fear, tell ur bf that u want to put the marriage thing off untill u feel comfy with the subject. Let him be the one to ask u for marriage and dont push him towards it. U can still have a great relationship dating as long as u dont start having kids together or cheat on eachother.
2007-10-04 16:09:25 · answer #3 · answered by coffeebabyea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what most people fail to realize,is that commitment doesn't end at the altar. the popular glorified belief that you're going to live "happily ever after," is usually why couples are filing for divorce. have realistic expectations, standards and goals set for you and your partner. know it's tedious and constant work to keep a healthy thriving marriage. openly forgiving, and unselfishly putting forth effort, although things may not seem in your favor. woman spend forever trying to find the perfect catch, but it can only be as good as you want to make it. there isn't any guarantees, and that life long commitment is tough. but that's precisely what makes it so beautiful. if this man has proven himself worthy of that oppurtunity, (and only you could know), then what more could you be waiting for?
2007-10-04 16:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by ladyintuitive21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get some counseling about this. You can't go through life in fear. No one ever gets married knowing what the future will bring. We are all in the same boat. You just have to have faith in the person you are marrying and yourself. But, get some help. It is just not healthy to go into a marriage with this phobia.
2007-10-04 16:24:30 · answer #5 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to get over fear is to confront it head on and deal with the consequences. If it does happen so what - Yes it will be hard, yes you will feel depressed but life goes on.
I would focus on positive right now as you have no issues.
The fact you are thinking of this makes me wonder how confident are you as a person?
2007-10-04 16:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by ensoman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it helps, your English is understood. In fact, your English is better than that of the first answerer here. Depression is an illness and needs medical treatment. You need to go to your doctor and follow instructions. People are not "better than you," the same as you are not better than anyone else. You are a good person the way you are, and it might be a good idea to list things about yourself that you like. But the first thing you need to do is get medical help for your depression.
2016-04-07 04:49:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, could it be that deep inside you suspect or know that he has the capability of being unfaithful or non-caring or immature or not fully committed? Before you start thinking your bonkers, try to explore why you think you feel this way. What are some of the things he's said or done to make you a little shaky?
2007-10-04 17:21:31 · answer #8 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a chill pill.. lol. We all take chances in life, specially in love. Just jump in, if you dont you'll never know. And you may miss out on the love of a lifetime.
2007-10-04 16:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never know. No one can predict the future. Love hard because life is precious. Don't allow fear to ruin your life. Regrets cut to your soul!
2007-10-04 16:49:21 · answer #10 · answered by JG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋