Is my essay terrible? What should I do? (Im not done w/ the conclusion)?

Question

Why do some people commit evil acts and others do not? Theories abound about the origin of evil and how it is that some people do evil things while others do not. One such theory states that human beings decide which path they will take in life. Another theory is that society influences people to do right or wrong. There is also a belief that some people are born to do evil (thence- a “bad seed”). Based on these possible theories, it may be possible to determine the core of how and why a person becomes evil.
Human beings may be born neutral with two completely different paths (similar to the symbols of yin and yang), and as one grows within his or her surroundings and influences, the paths that he or she possess may be shaped and later determine what kind of person they will become in life. In John Milton’s Paradise Lost, Satan turns his back on God and promises to spend the rest of eternity doing evil (Milton 654). Satan chooses the path of evil over good. The theory of one being born neutral with two completely different possible paths is supported when Satan commits this unexpected act. There is a great similarity between Satan’s choice to do evil and human beings who, unexpectedly, commit evil acts.
Choices made may also be controlled by how one deals with an influential environment or society. In William Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Lady Macbeth persuades her husband Macbeth, the once strong and noble warrior, to murder King Duncan in order to gain the throne of Scotland, which only leads to the downfall of Macbeth (Shakespeare 468). Does society contribute in turning the once good Macbeth into an evil and power-hungry monster? The answer in this particular situation is yes; but could this particular theory contribute to human beings in today’s modern world? In certain situations, it could definitely be a major contribution to the evilness in humans. If a person was influenced to take drugs at a young age and then later become a drug addict, would the influencer be the one to blame? The answer to this particular question would most likely vary from person to person. In this case, however, society does indeed influence a person to do wrong.
Could a person be born, and in turn be fated, to do acts of evil? This is like as asking if Adolf Hitler was somehow meant to murder millions of innocent people during the Holocaust (Jewish Virtual Library 1). Human beings may be born absolutely pure and sinless. The age of reason does not begin until seven years old, when the mind can then be tempted and good and evil is understood .The world then begins to influence their minds in positive and negative ways. People are born with the natural ability to sin, but they are not necessarily born evil; they are born with the capacity to make mistakes in their lives, and humanity agrees that we continuously fall short of glorified perfection. An evil nature is a conscience choice.

Answer 1

I am Delema's son and a student of world view philosphies. Your paper was not based in reality but rather hypothetical situations and plays. To prove your flawed points you must find real situations, not fictitous stories. Your first point is that the devil consciously turns his back on God; this is true but this is the devil, formally an Angel, not an imperfect human. The Devil before this point was God's highest Angel, perfect in every way. Pride slowly enveloped him and he challenged God and was thrown out of heaven with many angels. (Genesis)
Your next point (Macbeth) is based in fiction and thus does not aid your point which is based in realism. You seem to believe that toddlers cannot sin, since you believe the age of choice is at seven. Toddlers are testing thier boundaries and to test their boundaries, they rebel against the the authority in their lives. These toddlers are making a conscious decision to sin. You believe that it is in their choice but it is in their nature. My little brother, Matthew, who is four years old, when he is told to come, will fake injury; he understands his boundaries and exactly how to bend them.
In the last example, Adolf Hitler is used. You do not seem to use him for any particular point. However you did use a real person when your previous examples were based on fictional sources.

Answer 2

No, your essay is really good. I'm not too keen on the MacBeth reference, it's not very strong. A better reference and more contemporary would be to focus on Adolph Hitler and the choices he had before him - him ultimately choosing evil and why, then your further reference of him fits in the theme better. The conclusion will flow from summing up how Hitler had both possibilities within him, being " a bad seed" or simply choosing evil based on his personal experiences.(Just a thought)
Other than that, it's fine.

Answer 3

It's a very good essay. Just keep on thinking about the coclusion. Surely, you'll have a passing grade for that. Good Job.

Answer 4

I think it is a very interesting paper indeed. Just need to keep going on the last point, then answer the question you asked to conclude it. Very intelligent, I think!!!