If zombies wanted to eat your brains??

Question

see i think that we all need to prepare for the zombie wars..
yes me and my friend make big plans for the oncoming wars
it goes like this..
first zombie attack.. get the house protected and shave heads although im thinking about shaving my head forever just incase i dont have enough time
anywho
once the first attack has gone you have to go to a deserted place like the country...with cows
but you have to watch out for zombie cows
you could just tip them over but hey what if they are sneaky cows???
then hide in a barn..farmer proly died already in the war and proly has a shotgun (to get to the safe farm house i would use my trusty crowbar for hand combat not the safest but i do not want to buy guns) and then get on the upper floor of the barn and shoot any zombies that i see..grow food and bascily just gangsta chill untill the war is over :)
its very sad when you relized the zombies are not coming
but hey im still shaving my head :)

Answer 1

I tend to keep the same answer for any zombie-related question so here goes: as a nurse I can tell you that at for the first three days or so after death and reanimation, the zombies will be moving at near-regular speed, but after that as muscular decay and necrosis sets in they will get slower and clumsier. Within two weeks they would collapse in jellified heaps of rotting flesh and organs. They don't need to drink, and eating toxic meats won't hurt them either - they are already dead. I wouldn't even try to get away, I have everything that I need at home. And really, where would I go? I live in West Virginia, in a small town away from large population centers. If I did have to clear out, I would be driving my Dodge Grand Caravan. It has enough room to take what I need and the size and weight to roll right over any undead in my way. First thing I do is move my armor and weapons into the attic. I am in the SCA, and my armor is built to take hits from baseball bats, so no zombie even has a hope of scratching it. My weapons include several swords, all of which are full-tang construction and made of strong steel, and all of which I can use well. Guns are OK in a pinch, but require ammo and can jam at the worst times. Once I am in the attic I would pull the stairs up after me and armor up. If any zombies were in the house I would drop the stairs and let them come up one at a time, because it is ridiculously easy to decapitate someone coming headfirst up a set of stairs. Never go for the headshot with a melee weapon - it can become lodged in the skull. Always swing for the neck to sever the spinal column, or take off hands and legs. A legless zombie can't chase you too well, and a handless one can't grab you. Once the house was emptied I would set about barricading doors and windows and inventorying how much canned food I had, filling up as many jerry cans and milk jugs as possible with water, and taking stock of my first aid supplies. You cannot assume that electric, gas, and water services will stay on long, so I would eat any perishable foodstuffs first and recharge any electric devices such as a power drill and a sportlight (mine is five million candlepower and can run for eight total hours on a full charge). I really can't see any reason to shave my head, although long hair could provide a way for something to grab you, and could become a breeding ground for fleas, lice, and ticks, which is why military personnel from the beginnings of history have kept their hair short. Any restaurants in the area would also suffer a loss of power and therefore their food would also spoil. Food in their freezers might last a few more days, but at one time I was a restaurant manager and I can tell you that nine out of ten times the freezer is locked. A better choice for raids is the supermarket canned goods aisle, as well as their pharmacy for antibiotics (I'm a nurse, I know what I'm looking for), but remember that you may also be in competition or conflict with other survivors for such resources, and they will be wanting to take what you have as well - you may be forced to defend yourself against other humans. Good food choices are all canned goods, Ramen noodles, presweetened Kool-aid packets, canned juices, hard candies, pudding cups, pop tarts, bottled water, and various other non-perishable, non-refrigerated foodstuffs. Stay away from bread and milk, as they spoil far too quickly. Concentrate instead on things that can be heated on a campstove or over a campfire, and reconstituted with water, like Ramen noodles. If you are using non-bottled water for cooking, boil it for five minutes to kill any bacteria. Soon I would be reconnoitering the area to see how many had survived, and eliminating any zombies around by drawing them out and engaging them in single combat or in twos and threes so as not to get surrounded. Always keep on the move and change your direction of travel often to prevent them cutting across your intended path. I don't live near a graveyard, so the only undead around would have to be the newly dead. I don't know if the plague could infect animals or not - in all the zombie lore I have seen or read it cannot because an animals brain is not as highly developed as a humans. Any corpse (human or animal) that has been dead for over three weeks or so probably would not reanimate simply because of the level of decay present. Because of this I might wait a few days before scouting in order to give any viable undead time to further decay. As their bodies start to decompose they would get slower and weaker, becoming easier to dispatch or dodge. Within two to three weeks the whole zombie plague would fall apart as they decay past any point of muscular viability. A fresh, newly dead zombie will be just as fast and strong as he was in life, but give it a few days and they decay. "Blending in" with them is usually not an option, as they can smell your blood and sense your heart beating. Anyone trying to do so is committing suicide. I would however, not place my trust in river islands as a refuge unless the current was deep and fast: zombies cannot drown, so theoretically they can float to the island like so much deadwood (and as decay sets in they would be bloating with gases so they would most likely float) or walk across the bottom (as the pirate crew did in PotC:CotBP) to you if the water is slow. I would use the canoe as last-ditch transportation downriver if the Caravan was somehow rendered useless. If I was able to stay in one place I would make sure that it was easy to see that I was a survivor in order to avoid the fate of the guy in Night of the Living Dead - living thru the ordeal just to get mistaken for a zombie and headshot. I would exit the attic and set up "camp" on the roof, with radio, dome tent, and a big sign. So what if I attract a few zombies? Without any way of getting to me they would simply mill about on the ground until I snuck down the back of the house using our rope fire escape ladder (which I would keep on the roof) and decapitated a few as they slowly came around the house. I do not believe that after three days any would have the ability or coordination to climb, but I would make it a priority to take out fast-movers first.
Various gear I have at hand right now that I would find useful:
Binoculars, Rope and Grappling hook, Coleman lantern, 5-cell Maglite, matches or lighters, can opener, battery operated perimeter alarms, canteen, mess kit, liquid fuel operated campstove, sleeping bag, backpack, handcuffs, armor repair kit, handaxe, whetstone and metal file, toiletries, flare gun, inflatable raft, and a canoe.

Answer 2

If there were any doctor or nurse zombies I"d show them a copie of my latest MRI brain Scan. I have advanced MS and I would tell them I have all kinds of plaques so your going to have to chew hard. Any zombies who have dentures, crowns, caps or extensive bridge work had better not bother. You'll choke to death. All zombies speak zombieze so medical zombies could still convince the blue collar zombies.
Hope this helps

Answer 3

Brilliant, you earned a gold star.

This is almost as good as my plans to take over the world with an army of ninja mice.

Perhaps I should use zombie ninja mice...hmmmm.

Answer 4

All I got to say is....I have learned from movies that if zombies are real...shot them in their head

Answer 5

the best thing to do is head straight to your local gunshop. now you gotta count on the gunguy being dead and not alive and paranoid...oh...........

Answer 6

I'd give them a pretty small meal.

Answer 7

i think you're paranoid.