My hub and I have been married for 16 yrs. We have a daughter 15 son 9. For so long, I have told him about how I miss him sitting by me...putting his arm around me. Well, many times he will say that he doesn't realize that he isn't doing it, and for a little while he might start doing it again..then he goes right back to his old ways. I handed my daughter the newspaper to look at a few min ago and my hub went over there and put his arm around her and started reading with her. This wouldn't bother me in the least, if he would do the same for me. This happens on other subjects as well. When we are at a store and he sees something that he thinks my daughter might like in clothes, he will be like, hey...how about this? But he doesn't seem to care at all about anything I wear. He loves his son too, and they have their own special relationship and he says that he feels like "he and I are connected". No worries. There is nothing perverted going on here, I can assure you. I just don't get it.
2007-10-04 14:12:30 · 13 answers · asked by ShineOn 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW, just wanted you all to know that he and I do have a good "intimate" life...and we do communicate pretty well and all...it's not like he is completely unaffectionate or anything. Thanks everyone.
2007-10-04 14:13:44 · update #1
No, my husband isn't like that. I trust him completely. There is no cheating going on here.
2007-10-04 14:18:26 · update #2
Just to clarify, when I say he says "he and I are connected" I am referring to he and I ..not he and his son.
2007-10-04 14:20:42 · update #3
He's just comfortable with you. That's all. I hug my daughter mor than I hug my wife too. But that's because I know my daughter needs that reassurance. I need to do better and so does your husband. It's just that sometimes we forget or we start taking our wives for granted. Just give him a gentle reminder or go put yourseklf under his arm.
2007-10-04 16:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to feel like a third wheel to your husband. I am sure you are very happy he has a great relationship with your children, but you need to feel special too. At least he tries to remember. Maybe if you took the initiative to put your arm around him, give him random hugs and kisses, or gave him the kind of contact you wanted he would get used to the feeling of you two together again. Children are great but do seperate the couple, believe me, it is a fight to keep it close.
2007-10-04 21:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't know why but for some reason men tend to slow on the romance when they know that they have u. I just think that he is comfortable with you and doesnt see the need to try to make things better. You should be greatful that u have such a relationship....why dont u try putting your arms around him everyonce in a while. He might get the hint. but again congrats on such a nice relationship
2007-10-04 21:36:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your life and marriage so boring that you have to manufacture problems?
I am not trying to be mean but really, it sounds like you are creating a problem out of nothing.
The bad news is you cannot change your husband. The good news is there will soon enough be a real problem in you life to contend with. So why don't you just sit back and wait for it to come.
Good luck.
2007-10-04 21:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you go sit next to him and put your arm around him? Maybe he is waiting for you to make the first move....maybe he is wondering why you don't cuddle with him. I have experienced this with women before...men and women are hard wired in different ways and don't think alike. Your looking for affection and he is wondering what is for dinner. He doesn't love you less because he is thinking about dinner and not about gushy stuff.
2007-10-04 21:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by Big Red 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's not doing it consciously. . . he tries when you remind him. Maybe try taking his arm and putting it around you when you sit by him. . . What I do when I want attention from my guy, I give it to him. It's amazing. . .he starts returning the affection when I do it and walk away. . I don't expect him to do it but he just does it on his own because I don't ask. It feels awesome when he doesn't. I used to try to "tell" him. . .that just didn't go anywhere.
I think it's a man thing. .he wants it to be his idea, doesn't want to be asked/told to do it. . but doesn't mind the subtle reminder.
Good luck.
2007-10-04 21:23:32 · answer #6 · answered by Share 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's just being a man. My husband said he didn't like my hair short. I grew it for 2 years. It's long now and he didn't even notice! I asked him about it yesterday and he said, " I think about it when I look at you. I just forget to tell you how pretty it looks". Try not to take it personal, he's just being a normal guy.
2007-10-04 21:19:18 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is what you should do.
Go shopping and get something sexy to wear, get your hair fixed really nice for about a week (at least) then walk around the house confident in yourself. Be exciting.
This should get his attention.
2007-10-04 23:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by shatta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a pretty good marriage.No relationship is perfect but I think that you should be happy with what you have.I think that most people don't have what you have in your marriage. Be happy don't sweat the small stuff.
2007-10-04 21:44:34 · answer #9 · answered by Julius C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 21 yrs and there have been times when I didn't put my arm around my wife or hold her hand etc. Sometimes we just need our space and then there are times we don't realize we aren't doing it much anymore. I'd keep reminding him and he will do it more. You know us guys need prodding at times.
2007-10-04 21:29:17 · answer #10 · answered by M M 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋