A few years ago my wife told me he called her and asked her to party when I was out of town. Another time he asked if she “wanted him for breakfast”. She said no and told me and didn’t want me involved.
Years went by he became born again. My wife hung out with them again. She stared at him in a weird way – like a girl with a crush. I asked her what is going on - she told me I’m insecure and freak out for no reason-she is not staring at him. For about a month my wife, neighbor his wife drink until late–kids running aimlessly. I hear them partying and spied a few times. Then he walked her home, I told him not to, he did anyways – so I beat him up.
A year of ignoring them went by and my wife was at their house for a few minutes. The guy handed her a note. It had a private email for her to contact him. She ripped it up and threw it away. But I found it in the trash and pieced it together. The bottom said I Love You. She said he’s crazy and she just wanted it all to go away.
It haunts me
2007-10-04 13:48:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think the whole attitude of your wife and yourself shows frustration. The marriage you have is but a specter of what it was in the beginning.
I don't know how old you guys are, but I think you are passing the famous midlife crisis and the things you are telling about are standard sh.t.
You should both reflect on who you are individually first. What you want from the rest of your life and what is the best way to achieve that without making each other miserable and insecure.
If there is love and affection you feel for one another, inspite of the problems, with the proper will and councelingm you just might save it... but if it is too late, than go your own way ( just like the Fleetwood Mac song...).
I hope you can do it and the years won't be thrown away, but also if there is nothing to loose anymore, a life in tranquility without the haunting you mention is a more desirable one..
good luck and b good
2007-10-04 14:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
MS, sounds like you may have reason to feel insecure. But best thing would be for you and the Mrs. to have a good heart to heart and put all the cards on the table. You can inform her of your beliefs and how this relationship makes you feel. You should also be honest with her and tell her about spying on them and piecing the note back together. She can then defend and/or give you her thoughts on the matter. Regardless someone is going to have to compromise and bend a bit. Besides how Born Again are these people really if they are drinking and partying to all hours with the kids wondering aimlessly. Best of luck and hopefully you two can indeed work this out to a suitable result.
2007-10-04 20:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It does sound fishy... but if you confront your wife and "forbid" her to do anything... if she's anything like me, she'll overreact in totally the wrong way, even if she is innocent of any wrongdoing, and you'll have just shot yourself in the foot. "Forbidding" someone is only asking them to leave you. You can't control other people, so don't try.
You could have a serious heart to heart with her and tell her how it's making you feel and why. Be completely honest and open, but not confrontational. If she knows how hurt you are, she'll probably respond better than if you "forbid" her something.
If she loves you, then she'll be willing to work through it. Hopefully she'll be honest. You'll have to also trust what she says. If you can't trust her, then call a divorce attorney because it's not going to work.
People say "once a cheater, always a cheater," but I don't believe that. There are many reasons why people cheat, if she even let it get that far. Some reasons may have nothing to do with you.
Another thing- why didn't you hang out with the three of them? Not invited? Or just not interested?
Good luck!
2007-10-04 21:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by Brittae 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
time to move!!!! i think there is more going on and your wife is not exactly innocent! why is she keeping going over there, if she knows you dilike the way he treats you. i think you should start to play his game. give his wife notes from one of your friends. it is not going to be true but see how he likes it. have a serious talk with your wife and see if the tables were turned and if she would be so ok for you to go over there and hang with the girl. i think she likes the attention but she needs to know it really hurts you and it isnt healthy . good luck!
2007-10-04 23:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI,, i don't really know what to tell you,,, other than they both have no respect for,,, and that have been an ongoing crap
you need to really think about what you are going to do about that because something went on or is still going on..
i hope that everything works out well for you,,
Leena
2007-10-04 21:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by leena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have good reason to be concerned and haunted.
your wife should not associate with that guy and his wife.
if she knows it upsets you she should immediately cease and desist from any further contact, or, visitation to their house.
she has reported to you on his improper advances. so i suspect she is not involved with him.
it would seem, however, that she likes the attention. also, your wife is not sensitive to your feelings and concerns.
i really don't know how to advise you on this type of problem. maybe you should tell the slugs wife that he has been making advances to your wife and it is troubling to you.
hopefully his wife can take care of the problem.
2007-10-04 21:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by ramni222 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if there was nothing there why would she just want it to all go away? your not insecure, one knows when there is a problem or if his mate is looking at another with lust in her heart. think she may have been having an affair with him and when he professed his love for her and she had to make a choice she re thought it and decided not to. so now she just wants it all to go away so she will not have to be confronted by any of it.
2007-10-04 20:56:07 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Them 2 have had a fling many times.I would tell my wife that there would be no more of her going to his house,or him coming to hers.You dont deserve to be put though this ****.How would she feel if the shoe was on the other FOOT!!!!If she keeps it up , dump her as fast as you can.Its not good for you.You have already beat him up and if he keeps it up you might just do it again or worse.So get her *** in gear.Tell her its either YOU or HIM...Nothing in between.
2007-10-04 20:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by lady bug 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think she stared at him that way because he rocked her world. It appears your wife is being deceitful and not being a good mom. I'd tell her to leave.
2007-10-04 21:48:45 · answer #9 · answered by M M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move and to a new house. Also get some marriage counlsing. Just move and see what happen.
2007-10-05 00:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by sexy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋