We have been dating for almost 3 years and living together for a year & a half. I have 2 children at home. He has 2 children who are grown. He was married for 18 years. 7 of which they lived in that home. Am I wrong to not want to live there? We are not engaged & this would not be MY home.
2007-10-04 12:13:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DON"T DO IT!
My husband raised 3 kids in the house I'm typing from right now. He lived here for 17 years. He and his ex divorced, he moved out. 5 years later he meets me, the wife wants to sell the house, and what does he do? He suggests that we buy the house out from her. so we do, and GOD I wish we hadn't.
Too many memories, and now it's as if my husband is living in the past.
I wish we had a house with a fresh start, no history of past relationships in it. It ruined mine. (in part)
2007-10-04 14:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask him to consider buying a different home TOGETHER. Let him know that the memories of his wife and kids will always reverberate in that house for you and you'd much rather start your own memories in a new house.
I don't blame you for not wanting to live there. I don't think I would either. My husband and I have a home together. We've been separated for 11 months. He still lives there. It didn't stop him from having his bar trash there, but I will never buy him out because the memories there would kill me. Make sure he knows what he's buying before he does it.
2007-10-04 19:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally I'd get mean and say if she needs the cash then you stay out of it and let him do what he needs to do , but it was the fact that you stated after he buys her out you and he will both be living there that caught my attention.
DONT let him buy her out , if he has to buy her out then tell him to put the house on the market for full sale and pay her out then he can use what's left as a downpayment on a home for you and him , living in a house where the ex-wife occupied for how ever many years is a very BAD idea , I moved into my 2nd husband's house his parents owned for 13 years and then him and his 1st wife owned for 5 years , trust me you'll never feel like it's your house , it was his ex's and his and their kid's home.
The emotional turmoil it'll put you through will end your relationship and you will be left with not only a broken heart but no where to live.Dont let him do this , if he truely loves you he wont expect you to live there EVER.
2007-10-04 19:28:34 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, I couldn't live there. If your relationship is important to him rather than material gains, he will value your feelings on this and find a home you both can call your own. Don't compromise on something that will continue to bother you. There are just some things that can't be looked over and if that is one thing for you (that is, moving into "their" home) then you should acknowledge it and find a way to feel at peace. Good luck to you... Be true to yourself. -smile-
2007-10-04 19:31:57 · answer #4 · answered by cherryblossom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE HAD 18 years with her....they lived there with their children for 7 years, they have memories and what not. WHY WOULD YOU WANT to live in that house? It's THEIR house.....perhaps your boyfriend is not the right man for you afterall?
2007-10-04 19:21:29 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are WRONG to feel that way, but I don't know that he is, either. What does he say when you mention it to him? Can you remodel or redecorate the heck out of it? How's the housing market where you are? He is probably going for this deal for completely practical, not sentimental, reasons. Guys are like that.
2007-10-04 19:19:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there are plans for the 2 of you to live together then you have a right to express your discomfort to him.
2007-10-04 19:18:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's not going to be a place you're living in what difference does it make whether he buys it or not? If he WANTS to buy it he should. If you don't like it so what?
2007-10-05 01:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. And lay off the math. Who cares 'who lived with who and where and when'.
Jesus...isn't there anything some people won't find some bizzare formula..mathematical or otherwise...to complain about?
2007-10-04 19:18:46 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's his choice. You're not married yet. Things could change tomorrow.
2007-10-04 19:44:52 · answer #10 · answered by All That Glitters isn't Gold 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋