But I recently found out he might be gay. It was devistating, but made more sense to me the more I thought about it. I feel like our relationship has been a complete lie for the three years I've known him. Should I confront him with it, or keep it to myself?
2007-10-04 11:55:49 · 13 answers · asked by Curious 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I know what you feel like. You think you know someone and then BAM! a whole new thing is brought out. And then you're like "God! What have we been doing for the last three years?!" But if you're so close with him and you guys are good friends so I think that if you want this relationship to live, you should talk to him. "Confront" is a harsh word. Politely discuss is entirely different.
2007-10-04 12:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
By "Relationship" you mean "Friendship" right?
Why the hell has it been "A Lie"?
Gay men can be friends with straight men just like STRAIGHT WOMEN CAN BE FRIENDS WITH STRAIGHT MEN.
Just because he may have checked out your *** once or twice before realizing that you were just friends doesn't make his friendship with you any less meaningful!!
WOW... You got a LOT of homophobe feelings to work out...
No, you should not confront him about this.
He is in the closet and until HE feels like coming out of the closet you should respect that...
BTW... he COULD be a Celibate Gay Man...
I am a Celibate Gay Woman...
If I WANTED companionship I would go out and seek more intimate companionship but right now I have too much stress in my lfe and I don't WANT a relationship.
I know that once I get into a more stable situation in my home life I will go out and date around and look for a long term relationship but until then I am perfectly content to play "Hand-ball".
There is nothing wrong with just needing to put your energy's into something more important then a relationship.
Don't "out" your firend... It is his life...
Just be suportive and CONTINUE TO BE HIS FRIEND.
2007-10-04 20:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you feel that your relationship for the past three years has been a lie? Are your memories, laughter, sorrow and experiences any less because he might be gay and didn't tell you? How did you recently find out? Did he do something or say something to you? If so, he might be "testing the waters" with you to see how you're going to react. He may be afraid of losing you as a friend if he told you. But, I don't think you'd be that shallow.
2007-10-04 19:09:06 · answer #3 · answered by WildOne 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a guy who's hormonally Intersexed, I went from Asexual to Gay after testosterone, so your pal may be in transition, too.
Tell him you accept him for whoever he is, no matter what.
By the way there are Gay Asexuals, too. So you both should check out Asexuality.org, together if possible.
2007-10-04 19:51:13 · answer #4 · answered by Testika Filch Milquetoast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see.
A FRIEND is one who pre-judges... and takes offense when something that may not even be true is NOT divulged and then wants justification in taking it upon themselves to bring said (possibly) invented matter out in a confrontational manner.
Man.. glad youre not MY friend. I hid my sexuality for 34 years of my adult life. You'd have had a field day with me, wouldnt'cha??
.
2007-10-04 19:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by Danger OReilly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is gay, he is obviously not ready to come out, yet.
Does it matter if he is gay or just that he hasn't told you yet. It is not an easy thing to do and he may still be struggling to accept it. Give him some time.
You could hint around that it would be ok with you if anyone of your friends was gay.
2007-10-04 19:00:30 · answer #6 · answered by Louie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Move on and leave them alone. Confront them on it? why?
Are you the moral police? Did he ask you to marry him?
I mean what hold do you have on him anyway?
2007-10-04 19:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let sleeping dogs lie
2007-10-04 19:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by tasty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm celibate and don't date, well not yet. he is sensitive about his orientation, let him alone.
2007-10-04 19:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mind your own business, and wait for him to feel comfortable.
2007-10-04 19:56:26 · answer #10 · answered by Lil Tamika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋