Issues from THE PAST ...is my future DOOMED?!?

Question

I'm 22yrs old. My family is dsyfunctional. I've grown up without a dad, so has my sister.. without hers. (half sisters) I was raised by my grandparents, that are depressed and have been for many years. All my mother has ever cared about is the guys and drama in her life. I don't have anybody anymore. We don't keep in contact with the rest of the dysfunctional family either. My question is....are MY relationships and my future doomed because of my upbringing? I've never been apart of, or really witnessed real relationships between a man and a woman, so doesn't that mean that I'm more likely to repeat my familys past? I already get involved with emotionally unavailable mean constantly, it's a pattern. My relationships are unhealthy, i already know that, but I don't know of any other way. It's like being dysfunctional, fighting, neglect, using, and abusing are normal for me? Help! What do I do to make sure that I don't make the same mistakes my family has? Is there hope?! Thanks

Answer 1

Seeing that a problem "might happen"...is a great way to prevent it. Do research on healthy relationships. The more you know about healthy things, the more you are to copy those. Habits are formed for "want and willingness." If you want healthy...you will get healthy.

Answer 2

There's no such thing as a "normal" family. Everyone has a dysfunctional family. Your problems with your family do not have to affect any part of your life. There are too many people that use the "I'm a product of my environment" excuse. Personally, I think it's a load of crap. You may not know what you want out of life, but at least you know what you DON'T want. You should take what you've learned from your experiences and make sure you never repeat them.

Answer 3

Change your thinking. You are the creator of your future, no matter what happened to you in the past. You are NOT destined to repeat any mistakes they made if you believe you won't. I would suggest you get the movie "The Secret" to really jump start a new way of thinking. www.thesecret.tv

You CAN break the cycle, but it will take a lot of effort and developing new ways of thinking. Remember, what you think, you attract more of. Only you can decide if that will be positive or negative.

Answer 4

There is hope, if you realize that, as you get older, you will become more like the people you resent.
If you want to transfer responsibility and have someone else do your deep thinking, get a religion. If not, check out http://www.sgi-usa.org
They can show you how to develop your own personality and bring out the capabilities for happiness that are covered over by dysfunctional ideas.

Answer 5

the fact that you acknowledge and recognize the problem means i dont think your dysfunctional at all.someone who grew up in a dysfunctional home and dosent want to live like that would prob make someone a great wife.surround yourself with a different class of people.pick one out and go for it youll be fine.

Answer 6

calm down
you`re the only maker of your future
this is my advice; go away,,get a new life in a place where nobody knows you, get a new job, a new house
and if you want, a new couple, you can change your future, just make up your mind

don't cry for the issues from the past, your future isn't doomed because the future is not here yet, the past is gone, the future is not here, the present is here use it

Answer 7

it is not a racial element. there are a number of white teenagers who're raised to be overprotected via their mothers and dads too. To be honest, it is not continually a foul element because of the fact it is not an excellent worldwide obtainable and there is not something incorrect to objective to look after your little ones from that to three degree. plenty extra clever that than those ineffective excuse for oldsters who've feral teenagers who they don't supply a toss approximately. besides, somewhat of indulging in racial stereotypes and court docket circumstances, why not do some thing effective to assist your cousins? you may commence via encouraging your eighteen-365 days-previous cousin to combine extra, perchance via now and lower back inviting her out consisting of your friends or introducing her to those who you think of she could like (as an occasion, have comparable pastimes to her and could not crush her via being too outgoing). As on your older cousin, i don't think of it is too plenty to furnish the guy a strengthen to the airport, somewhat if he has heavy luggage with him. I do wish that he's well mannered and grateful for what you're doing for him. somewhat of seeing it as a burden/chore, you may see it as an threat to get to comprehend him extra clever. choose for a drink or a espresso after choosing him up from the airport. seek advice from him and perchance ask him if he might prefer to choose for his very own utilising license, and which you will help him with suggestion for instructions/the try.

Answer 8

Dear Brandi,

There is great hope for you ! You have recognized, there is a problem, and you know its source. Now, your best course of action, is the service of a competent counselor. Please don't delay. It can be a long slow process. However, you will feel better once you start.

Larry