I am 37, married... unhappily. My husband and I have been and continue to be total opposites! Even our jobs are so totally opposite. I met this guy that works in my field,and we have so many things in commom, but live about 100 miles away. I think about him a lot. I enjoy his company so much and I really respect him as a person, in his job, etc.
Part of me feels like it could be "that person I was meant to be with". We just click so well. I could see us fitting so comfortably.
It feels like he keeps making excuses to call me, and see me. And the excuses are all work related. I have even had other people tell me that he has complimented me ALOT to other people. Including my boss, he called to tell her what a great person I am and how good of a job I do.
I am worried that if I got the chance to cheat, that I would take it. And neither of us are the type to do that. But I keep seeing this happen, should I take the chance? Should I address it with him?
2007-10-04 09:45:27 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You only live once, so live!
2007-10-04 10:22:58 · answer #1 · answered by peggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is the worst thing you can do, it is about as low as a person can get. If you are in a marriage that is not working get a divorce. If you have no children and few assets it should be pretty simple, and over with in a short period of time. Then you can start exploring other options you might have. However, if this other man is also married then drop the idea of any kind of affair with him right now! If he is also in an unhappy situation he too can file for divorce. Cheating is never the answer, but it is a good way to cause yourself a ton of unwanted problems. Divorce is an easy step - take it.
2007-10-04 10:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will end up in divorce. Interesting how all the answers so far lead in a direction.!!!! I wonder why.!!!!
You are in a mental fixation that leads in one direction. If you think about something long enough you will do it... partly because the thought is willingly placed there. You want it the more you think about it. ... now do you want the results... I think everyone has done a good job of laying them out... hummmmm
You have not said if he is married and you will destroy two marriages... the problem others have not mentioned is if you do this, will you in your new marriage find that he trusts you...hummmm I bet he will be overcome with suspicion whenever you look wrong at anyone... hummmmmmm.
You need some wise counsel...
But don't stay in an unhappy relationship forever. I did 35 years and got cancer from the stress. Now I am out but am paying the price I am telling you of first hand...
wise counsel.
2007-10-04 10:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do don't cheat. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes and think about how it would make you feel. You took a vow to love him through all the good and the bad. You and your spouse need to have a heart to heart and tell him what you have been thinking and maybe this will motivate the two of you to get some counseling or find the spark that was once there. Don't let time kill your passion and your love for one another! I think that you will be surprised at how much he may respect you for being honest and wise enough not to go through with the affair. Just give your marriage a chance, but I promise you if you don't talk to your husband your relationship will be doomed! I will pray for resolution for you!
2007-10-04 10:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by Shana H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find someone ellse that appeals to you or you keep expecting what you know you will not get of your husband, offcourse you will find all sorts of flaws with him. You need to get your head settled, experience alone should tell you that a relationship takes work, so work harder to keep it together.
How would you feel if your husband ran off with some woman after you have given him so many years of your life. What about this new guy? Huh? Do you really think he will respect you because you left your husband for him? If naything, you will just find yourself in a relationship that is based on lts of suspicion and mistrust.
Do you have any idea how many handsome HIV and AIDS that are walking around?
Get some counseling or go somewhere and clear your mind. Divorce is just the easy way out and just remember that in all this you will still have to answer to God about those vows that you made to Him.
All the best
2007-10-04 10:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what u constantly think about u will eventually do, u really don't know this man, only what u are able to see, and he is showing u only the good, because he has an agenda, to have an affair. no matter how u feel about your spouse, its wrong, if u don't want your spouse anymore, file for divorce, than u will be free to begin a new relationship, but cheating on someone will not get u the desired effect u think, because when u hurt others, it always has a way of coming back to u. this new man seems to be boosting someones ego, and although it does feel good, to feel as if someone thinks alot of u, is it really worth hurting your husband over? marriage is not about a feeling its a decision we make to stay with that person even when things are not going so well. think of someone Else's feeling's here first before your own.
2007-10-04 10:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why are you staying in your marriage if you feel so strongly you'd be better off elsewhere? What would the "taking the chance" achieve? Are you looking for someone to use as a stepping stone for when you leave your husband? Are you planning to stay with your husband, but to be looking perpetually for someone else to meet your emotional needs? If I understand you right, you're not looking to just have sex a few times for fun and then go your separate ways - you seem to be looking for someone to be with. So, no matter how you look at it, it would make sense to get your life squared away before thinking of bringing someone else into the picture.
2007-10-04 10:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am willing to bet that you once thought your husband "has so many things in common, and you enjoyed his company and you respected him as a person, in his job,etc."
You are very delusional right now...this guy looks so good because you are too lazy or ignorant to work on your own marriage. You said nothing about how your husband treats you....that suggest to me that you have no complaints. You are doing wrong by your husband by even considering doing anything with this other guy....You either need to get this guy out of your mind and work on your marriage...or divorce your husband.......You are indeed a pathetic woman
2007-10-04 09:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried marital counseling? Are there any children resulting from you marriage? I think you need to be straight up with your hubby, not the other guy, about your feelings. Cheating isn't a great thing to do, not matter what the situation. Talk to your hubby first about how your feeling. Who knows, he may feel the same way and you guys can start working to either strengthen your marriage or start separating. I hope this works out for you.
2007-10-04 09:51:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You and your husband have issues probably and you see that this guy likes you and you have many things in common well think you are going to end your marriage what if things with this guy don't turn out the way you would of wanted them to. In the end you will be the only one hurting. Maybe things with your husband aren't as bad as you make them seem cause you are still married to him right there has to be something between you guys if you have made it this far.
2007-10-04 10:00:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do NOT cheat on your husband. If you think the two of you shouldn't be together anymore, if there's nothing in common and absolutely nothing left to save, then get a divorce, or at least legally separate and see if that's what you want. It's not fair to him for you to run off and be with another man. Your vows meant something to you when you took them, I hope. Honor them now, and do the right thing.
2007-10-04 09:51:50 · answer #11 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋