I saw a video in 1996 or 1997 when I was in high school that showed a woman having a baby (must have been a natural birth) and it scared the heck out of me and I would like for my niece to see this video because I think she is having sex and wanting a baby. Please help me find a video that shows everything with out blurring because she needs to see how painful and mutilating this experience can be.
2007-10-04 09:36:37 · 35 answers · asked by kim 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
For those of you who think this is not my business......her grandmother (who is her legal guardian) asked me to find this video and to help her with this stuff because she 60 something years old and knows that I can find things out a lot quicker and better than she can on the internet. Also, what kind of family would I be if I didn't try to intervene and help this little girl from such a terrible fate? I want to do the multi-directional approach where we watch the video, talk, and I take her to meet some of my old friends from high school who thought it would be great to get knocked up at 14/15/16/17/18 years old and where they are now. I want to stop her from hurting herself.
2007-10-04 10:20:30 · update #1
It's not having a baby that's the scary part...it's the lifetime of care that kid needs once they are born i.e how much it costs to raise the child, how much of your life needs to be dedicated to the child for him/her to grow up healthy. You should show her the cost of hospital bill for having a baby, the cost of 1 gallon of milk, the cost of diapers, the cost of child care while you work at a minimum wage job etc...and at 15 she would have no means to support a child on her own.
2007-10-04 09:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by tanzer360 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best video I can recommend, if you can get it, is The Miracle of Life: A Study of the Human Embryo from Conception to Birth". This is actually an episode of the public TV series NOVA which was produced in the 1970's. Called the most famous episode ever made, this video is unique in that it gives all the facts about reproduction, sex, and birth without blurring anything, and without preaching. As an alternate, you can have your niece watch a few episodes of "Babies: Special Delivery" on the Discovery Health Channel. This is a show that deals with high risk deliveries of babies, and NO, they don't hide anything on it. Your niece will get to see what happens to other girls and women her own age who get pregnant too young, or get pregnant when they shouldn't because of health problems.
Why do you think your niece is having sex? Just because you saw something that scared you as a teenager, doesn't mean your niece is doing anything she shouldn't. Unless you have actually seen evidence that she is sexually active, or she comes to you for advice with a problem, then you need to back off and not be so worried. You are not her parent, and keeping track of her sex life is not your responsibility. If it really concerns or worries you, then talk to your sister or brother about it, and let them handle it. ( BTW, I would ask their permission before you attempt to allow your niece to watch either the video I mentioned or the Health Channel show. Her parents are the ones who are responsible for her education in matters pertaining to sex, health, and hygiene, and it should be up to them to decide if they want your niece to see this or not. Since you are not her mother,you can't make that decision. )
Good luck, I hope this helps.
2007-10-04 09:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Starlight 1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I was a little offended by the mutilating comment... but that aside...
I don't think the birthing video is really enough to scare someone who really thinks they should have a baby. This isn't just someone who thinks, "It'll never happen to me, so we don't use protection." this is someone trying to get pregnant.
You need to address the actual problem.
She is too young, she doesn't come close to being mature enough, responsible enough to be a mom and the guy will leave her the second the poop hits the fan.
(The last one is because she probably has visions of baby + boyfriend = family).
She needs to carry around one of those "robot" babies for a while. They cry every time a real baby would, feeding time, changing time, love time....etc.
She needs to put away $200 every other week into savings before she can even consider getting pregnant. That's just baby costs. Not living away from mom and dad.
Then you need to call her mother, she needs to know this is what she is trying to do. So she can make it clear that if she gets pregnant on purpose she will be kicked out immediately.
2007-10-04 09:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by Katie C 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Look sweetie, Even if she sees that video Thats not going to stop her from having a baby if she really really wants to.
All you have to do to help her is sit her down and tell her about all the responsibilities there is to having a baby at a young age! Like her parents are going to kick her out of the house all alone in the streets and do you acctually think that the boy that got her pregnant is going to let her and the baby live with him? No. She has to put all her dreams aside and make whats best for the baby and always put him first. She has to get a job to pay for school and a decent home for him. She cant have any boyfriends over anytime. And she has to take on other big responsibilities. Tell her about the pain she has to go through to carrie it and give birth to it. And a baby needs a father and a decent one. Tell her all that and make sure she knows the responsibilities and tell her the pain And I think thall talk her out of it.
Look I know that that wasnt exactly what you wanted to hear but its the truth of the matter! Im sorry if I couldnt really help you but I tried and I hope and pray to God that everything works out between you and your niece and she'll understand why shes too young and she'll thank you sooner or later but I hope that it isnt too late for her to understand. Ill keep your family in my prayers!
I hope and pray to God everything works out!
2007-10-04 09:48:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just wanted to comment that a lot of girls who really think they want children at that age view that sort of thing as fantasy material. I mentored a girl who actually got turned on by the idea of giving birth and used to watch a baby story all the time and get aroused.
If your niece is really being stupid about this, I think that it is important to appeal to these maternal instincts that are out of control: ask her if she wants to be a good mom, which of course she'; say yes too, and then make sure she knows that at her young age, level of inexperience, and financial situtation, she won't be as good as she could be. Plus, let her know that a really good mom would wait to make sure she could bring her child into the world in the best possible situation.
2007-10-04 09:48:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know where to find that exact video but I know that when I was in lamaze my lamaze instructor had a ton of these "lovely" tapes to show the class. Maybe you can contact your local lamaze instructor and ask her for copies of them.
Unfortunatley I think that no matter what an adult shows a teenager about sex and babies --- they do what they want to because its what they want to do. All we can do is educate them with what we believe is right and hope they make the right descions. Scaring someone into not getting pregnant is not the best way. Sometimes rebeliuos teens want to show us that they can be better than the examples that we show them in ourselves or in others.
Good Luck!
2007-10-04 09:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by Pammie B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even if you show her a video and scare her about having a baby, she'll still be having sex. She needs to be using protection.
Take her to the doctor and get her a 3 year Depo Birth control shot. She'd still be having sex, but at least she wouldn't be getting pregnant. You won't have to worry about her going off her meds either like with BC pills.
2007-10-04 09:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait! Get a video that has a birth with pain meds cause they're still painful(from what I've heard) and if you have her watch a video of a natural birth it won't do any good cause she'll just be like "I'll just use pain meds." Oh, and don't put her on the shot either cause I heard it can cause infertility.
2007-10-04 13:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure where you can get the video, but I know that those simulated babies really work. Have her take care of one of those for a week and she'll change her mind. You could contact the local health department, highschool, or hospital to find out how to get one to use. Good luck.
2007-10-04 09:46:56 · answer #9 · answered by Becky 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
May I suggest a BETTER idea? - If you have any Pregnant friends or relatives, -see if they'll let you & your Niece WATCH the Birthing process. The ONLY thing Teenagers pay any attention to- is REALITY. If THAT doesn't work, then at LEAST you did your Best...
2007-10-04 09:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋