I ve been married for almost 10 years and have 4 children. My husband is in the army and currently not here.He cheated on me in our 7th year of marriage. We tried to work thru that and last year I found out that he had an affair with a soldiers wife. He lost rank and we were forced to move. He started going to church and alittle counseling, and has cried over and over telling me how sorry he is. Im scared to leave because of the children. He is a wonderful dad, friend, husband,provider, but it seems that when it comes to him being faithful thats where the problems lie. Do you think with him finding God that maybe he will realize his actions are soo wrong? Im tired of being hurt,but i really cant imagine life without him or just starting all over, and what about my kids? They love him very very much and how would I explain that to them? Why do men cheat, he said he thinks it boosted his ego? Do you think thts just an excuse? What should I do? Im sooo confused and hurt. Thankyou
2007-10-04 09:26:24 · 15 answers · asked by jenjen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello jenjen.
is there a way you can seek counseling for yourself? I know its real easy for total strangers to say "leave him" but you have 4 children and none of you are in any danger. the only thing shattered is your heart, and welll, that affects everything.
At this point, I think YOU need to talk to someone, and he does too, albiet separatley...in time marriage counseling. Right now is not a good time for that because everything is so fragile, you will just end up blaming each other.
Get help for yourself. Know that it was NOT YOU why he did this...
And yes, I think him going to church is good. But he will need to talk to someone, in addition.
Remember, with God, ALL things are possible.
Blessed be.
2007-10-04 09:49:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I didn't read past the "cheated twice should I stay" I don't think I need to because nothing in your explanation could convince me that you should stay with this man. Kids or no kids. You can be good parents if you are not together. He's not only cheating on you he's cheating on those kids too! LEAVE HIM GIRL! You should have left the first time!
2007-10-04 09:49:43 · answer #2 · answered by Meichelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men cheat for many reasons, none good ones. often times it does involve a low self worth, and another woman stroking their ego, making them feel special and wanted. god can change a person, just stay in church, get some christian counseling, and pray that temptation won't come his way again, and if it does he will be strong enough to walk away from it. let god do what he needs to do for your husband, and pray for the best. don't give up on him yet, now that u have god involved. good luck.
2007-10-04 09:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe in giving people second chances...and you gave your husband his second chance that he blew!!...Only you know for sure if you can forgive him or not. The trust has been broken and it takes time to regain that trust.....Perhaps he has learned a reason...I can't say that by finding God that he now knows what he did was wrong and that he will never do it again....again because I believe in second chances only. Why do men cheat? There may be many reasons...but NONE are excusable....
2007-10-04 09:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
U say he is a wonderful husband but would a wonderful husband cheat on the mother of his kids? You will be doing more of a disservice to your kids by staying in a relationship that is unhealthy for you. What if your kids pick up on his behavior? If u have sons, they will start treating women like crap when they are older and if you have daughters, they will allow this behavior to happen to them. I would at least separate and let your husband know you will not stand for it. Make him know you mean business. Scare him straight if you have to.
2007-10-04 09:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by kermit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God can make a difference in his life but only if he allows Him to.
My husband was a sex addict before he got saved. He changed dramatically after. In fact, he was saved for eight years before we got married and he never had sexual contact with anyone. In the seventh year we started dating, we did not have sexual relation before we got married, in fact, we kissed twice and felt soo bad about it that it never happened again until we got married.
A lot of girls threw themselves at him, even now, but i am not worried because i know who he is now.
Pray and ask God to give you and your husband the strength.
All the best
2007-10-04 09:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i personally have a problem with "love" and "cheating" in the same sentence, let alone the same relationship. if you really love someone, how can you bring yourself to take your clothes off and give it to another woman? he wants you as an anchor for his strength and feeling of worth while he cavalier-ly goes out and sleeps with other women. that's how i feel about it. as far as i'm concerned, God gave us brains to use for thinking, reasoning, and logic. because he decided to ignore those aspects of a human being in no way excuses him one iota for what he's done. personally, the relationship would be over for me. i would feel that i deserve better, kids or no kids. period.
2007-10-04 09:34:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My view is that cheating is something you forgive once. Everyone is entitled to make a mistake. But you are expected to learn from it. If you make the same mistake over again, it just shows that you really didn't care in the first place.
2007-10-04 09:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boosted his ego?Did he go around and tell everyone?You need to sit him down and tell him how you really feel.Hun you will get child support and maybe alimony for adultery.I know how you feel,insecure.Just decide what you can live with and what you can live without..
2007-10-04 09:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT! He can still be a goodfather to your children just under a different roof!
2007-10-04 10:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by Shana H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋