A bunch of my guy friends were talking about this subject... and the only ones that seemed to like the idea of marriage are in relationships... the rest found it horrifying! Why is that? It seems that guys want to be to be with someone, yet they don't... not painting every guy out there with the same brush, but there does seem to be quite a few guys out there that feel this way!
Is it not manly to commit???? Egads, this is confusing.
2007-10-04 08:56:04 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is because the single ones have not found the woman that makes them feel really ready to get married. But some guys will say stuff they don't necessarily feel to be true to be more manly.
2007-10-04 08:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kevy 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
We are not saying its not manly its because things change after we get married. I am single I've never been married but a few of my friends have been or are. Dont get me wrong but women are the first thing to change when we are legally bonded. They want us to change and its hard for a guy to change his habits as single or just being the bf. Now being the husband it is legally bounded the court of law so every thing we do financially is jointed with her. Marriage is like a mental funneral for us if we dont have the energy to keep it going or the will power to be faithful to the same woman for the rest of our natural lifes then a man closes up. I dont believe in marriage in our twentys casuse none of us know what we want until we near or hit 30. Marriage can only be right for a man if he is mentally and trually in his heart to settle down. He must not have any doubts about her or his self or the future cause if he does the wedding wont happen or if it does he was pressured into it and will try or will get out. So just dont pressure a guy cause it might come back to haunt you if not before wedding, during the marraige with him leaving you or cheating on you. A guy can live in a small room by his self with only a bed, stove, bathroom and food and water and be happy the rest of his life. Women got to give men time and no pressure on marriage. Atleast most men are dependant on their self and like being single cause no one has a say where we go when we go or when we be back. And the divorse rate and how the law treats a man in court when he wants out of the marriage. If he has kids he is screwed in and out. Even if he doesnt he still half screwed if they decide to make him pay allmony. Those are reasons why a guy doesnt want to get married it just stress on him.
2007-10-04 09:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not know this, but a huge percentage of men consider women's looks their most important quality. Women don't feel the same about men. It seems pretty obvious. You'll see old, ugly rich guys with the hottest 22 year old ever enjoying a romantic dinner way more often than you'll see a rich, ugly old woman with a super hot 22yr old man.
A long term relationship means that your going to be with this woman for a long time after she stops looking good. Not ideal. Women don't care as much. You love men for who they are. A few years and a few pounds won't change that. For men it's scary. There is no way in hell I could have ever dated any of the women I dated if it wasn't for their looks. Just the way a woman's brain works. All the emotional confusion, and feelings and talking....ugh. It makes me exhausted just thinking about it. Without the eye candy (and what not) it wouldn't be worth it. Sad but true. The world would be a better place if both sexes felt the same way about each other.
2007-10-04 09:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by Tim 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If men could avoid getting married completely, they would do it. Women think of it in terms of what it means and men think of what it does. We're wired completely differently. Loss of freedom, they would have to forever check and make sure their plans are okay with their spouse, they have to be more responsible...If they're single, they could theoretically hop a plane with their male buds for a ski weekend. But they'd have to stop and tell their wife...or maybe even ask permission...if they were married. If you want to marry a man, he needs a pretty compelling reason to do so. To women, if the relationship is going well, it's just the next logical step. To men, if a relationship is going well they have an "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" attitude. They have also probably seen many of their friends, family and TV characters live through travesties of marriage and divorce. That would kill the idea for anyone.
2007-10-04 09:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well think about it.
If you are 20 and you are looking for a committment from a guy who is 20 - that is an expected 50 plus years that you will both be together.
You will find that more older guys and women will commit as the pool shrinks in what is out there for them.
When you're 20 you think you have the entire planet to conquer or explore so there is no need to commit.
When you're 40 you know that the city is pretty much where you're limited to in finding another person to commit to.
When you're 80 you know that the person in the next room to you in the nursing home is as good as it will get and will commit to them.
For a young person to commit, you might as well put cement shoes on them and throw them in the sea - they equate to the same torture for them.
Guys in relationships are going to commit because they are in the relationship. If they said "NO, we're not going to commit" I don't think they would find themselves in that relationship much longer.
2007-10-04 09:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the commitment issue, but there are other things at work. Generally thinking with the small head rather than the big one. The other is what he will really end up with after he gets married.
The sweet loving sex muffin he married could turn into the ball busting bit$% that he will be forced to spend eternity with wishing for the gates of hell to open up and take his soul.
That is scary as hell to a man that cherishes the little guy between his legs.
2007-10-04 09:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by Panama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long-term commitment is scary to many people. The guys that fear long-term relationships fear missing out on a better deal down the road. It all goes back to the primal urge for males to mate with as many females as possible. Survival of the fittest if you will. Females tend to seek out stability and safety so they can raise their young with confidence. A little evolutionary in thought, but there you have it.
2007-10-04 09:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by Jimmy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a Guy's standpoint, Commitment is a serious & seemingly permanent thing. -Especially since breaking it (or in the case of Marriage, getting Divorced) can mean MANY years of further financial obligations (Alimony, Child Support, -etc.). So when a girlfriend starts talking "marriage", the guy starts thinking, "Permanence". Such "long" words entering into Life that guys like to keep as Simple as Possible- is a Soul rattling thing. Keeping a Girlfriend happy is about as "challenging" as alot of guys can handle... -Getting married & having a "wife"- is something ELSE again. Ok, so does that means guys are basically "cowards"? Hardly. It JUST means that many guys are probably "hardwired" NOT to commit themselves to ONE person- until they're mature enough to handle (& spell) the word "permanence". And unfortunately for MANY women, they're bound by their "biological clocks" (& their better Spelling abilities)-to want to "hurry the process along" alittle...
2007-10-04 09:23:29 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is how the media potrays mens views of marriage. As a result, they grow up seeing these images of men afraid of it and therefore take on the same characteristic. That's also why so many women are blood thirsty for a husband,
As for me, I'm terrified.
More and more women are becomming afraid because today's woman is a career woman. When we get married we are expected to quit our jobs and have babies. Something many women, myself included, don't want to do.
2007-10-04 08:59:00 · answer #9 · answered by Megegie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is actually not just men...it is woman too.
The reason being that every man and woman that I have talked with that doesn't want to get married is because their parents were married and were either miserable together and/or had a terrible divorce. And so their point of view is that why bother getting married and ending up like that.
This is actually the mentality that is behind this thought process in both men and woman.
2007-10-04 09:01:00 · answer #10 · answered by jhg 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OK, you must realize that men and women are wired very differently. Men are hormonally driven to reproduce and due to the size of the male genitals, most scientists will state that men were meant to have multiple partners. The thought of staying with one woman the rest of a man's life is a horrifying thought, because we just are not made to do that. So, when it is stated that men are after just one thing, that is true. However, on the other hand, women are not as squeaky clean as you pretend to be. Women are also after one thing, but that is a relationship. You want to change men into something that you want and the only thing that women really are after is to capture their guy. Women are much closer with their relationships and are geared to want relationships and have that maternal instinct.
So is it manly to commit, no it is not. When men commit, they are going against everything that their bodies tell them and just to make a woman happy. Women never have to make a sacrifice like that, since you get what you want in the end. Hopefully that helps explain somethings.
2007-10-04 09:05:05 · answer #11 · answered by disturbed001500 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋