I am 19 and almost 27 weeks pregnant I have a boyfriend that can't commit I think he is just scared that his life is over but he thinks things are going to change when the baby is here because he is excited about a baby. I am always crying because I'm upset over the situation and I think it is starting to effect my health. I am just looking to listen to what some other people have to say. I have a lot of support at home but it is still hard. Anything will help thanks!
2007-10-04 08:49:36 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
When he sees his baby, he will know then what he wants to do. Focus on yourself and not him. Pamper yourself. Bond with the baby and talk to him/her. It's you and your baby that matter now. You guys are a team. Build on that. And you are very lucky you have a support system at home. Lean on that. I was 19 when I became pregnant and I didn't have that support system. I had a little boy and he is 19 now. The best thing I ever did. His daddy and I are not together. I know it is hard not to worry about your boyfriend but honey, blood (family) will always be there and that means your baby. You will always have someone that will love you forever and that is your child. Focus on that. And you are going to be a great mommy. Good Luck and God Bless!
2007-10-04 08:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by carriebelle2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well congratulations! A baby is a wonderful thing, and always be reminded that it is never a mistake. I'm sure you have heard the saying "everything happens for a reason." Well this baby is coming into your life and once he/she does you will soon realize that this is the greatest thing to ever happen to you. Sure, it's scary at first... it's a lot to grasp but there is nothing you can't do with this baby. If you wanted to go to college, now you can go online. Anything you want to do, by all means, you can still go do it! Most younger people think that when they get pregnant that its some sort of an end. It's defiantly not, it's just the beginning to a new lifestyle. I think your boyfriend is just worried now, as expected, that he might not be able to be all he can be for this baby. All you can do is assure him daily that you both are going to get through this and that you both will make great parents, and that's very true. Talk some time to go to the bookstore (or as a cheaper alternative, the library) and get some books on mommy hood. Once you read through them your questions will be answered and your mind will be somewhat put to rest. I wish you the best of luck and always remember that this baby is a blessing and there's a reason why he/she is being placed into your life.
2007-10-04 08:59:21 · answer #2 · answered by Syd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the name Britney Spears mean anything. My point is no matter how much money or family support she has her life is a mess because she was too young to be a mother. I hate to say this but you also have shown your level of maturity by getting pregnant in the first place, and then wondering about the character of your boyfriend. That should have been done before you got pregnant. Now you are going to have to grow up real fast, you are just starting your life now as an adult you must understand that before your wants, to go out, date, buy things for yourself, hangout with friends must take a back seat to raising your child. Remember sticking your child with family so you can do those things aren't the right thing to do, get support where you can but not so your parents are raising your child and not you. About your boyfriend, well statistics are not in your favor, because more than likely he wont stick around based on the support that you need, both financial or emotional. I will be praying for you and make sure you, get the right training on how to raise a child, so others don't have to do it for you.
2007-10-04 09:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by lewis S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are about to become a mother and so it is no longer about you or this uncommitted boyfriend. Do what is truly in the best interest of this child. I would suggest you use your support system that does not include him and focus on making this pregnancy a healthy and successful one.
Here is a personal story, this girl I know was about 21 years old, a little older than you, she was in this relationship with this guy for about a year, she got pregnant. He didn't want to grow up or commit because he felt like he was being trapped. Then she was about 29 weeks pregnant and her doctor told her she had to stop stressing in the interest of the baby because it would send her into labor early. She kept stressing and delivered her baby at 34 weeks. Analise Marei passed away 2 days later due to complications of being born premature.
Good luck and if you do not take anything from this answer, just remember Analise.
2007-10-04 08:57:59 · answer #4 · answered by Blessed and Happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop crying & put a smile on your face. :) You're carrying a prescious life inside & you need to keep yourself calm. Sure, I understand that you're upset about things but you can't change certain things, where your boyfriend is concerned. It's a good thing that he's happy about the baby but on the other hand, he may just be scared. Being a parent is a big responsibility & we all worry about whether or not we'll make good parents. You are in an emotional state of mind, just being pregnant, but you need to take care of "you" & eat well, get lots of rest, & keep your thoughts focused on your baby. Watch the TLC channel & see the newborns, etc. You have support at home & that's what really matters, since your boyfriend is not giving that to you right now. Tell your boyfriend, that our lives are changed forever when we have a child, but it changes in a good way. So many joys!!!
2007-10-04 09:03:07 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good that you have support at home. I am 21 yrs old and I have a boyfriend who lives with me. We've only been 7 months together and I'm pregnant almost 19 weeks and he is there and is excited, not scared at all...he's been unemployed for a while and now is starting to look for a job. He already has a 3 yr old son but I think he is too laid back for his situation...there are other things I won't talk about here because they're private, but there's A LOT going on and I am crying all the time, always worried about different things...always upset about him and my brother not helping me enough at home with the cleaning and everything. THey're both unemployed, so they can OBVIOUSLY do stuff at home during the day. They don't really do much...
When I get home there's nothing cooked and I'm starving...yeah, they can probably cook too, but they don't. My family is not supportive at all about my relationship but they are supportive about me having the baby. I know my family is a exaggerating a liiiiittle too much, I know my boyfriend is not that bad, he just thinks like a kid most times...but it's time to mature you know? and my family is no one to judge because they have MAJOR issues.
You and I need to calm down and remember that it's good for us and our babies. I get so stressed out that I am weak and can't even move...yeah...I cry ALL the time...and I'm arguing with my boyfriend and my mom all the time. Like I said, I'm not going to talk about my situation in detail but there's a LOT going on...and I just think that I have to do it myself and think for two, me and my baby. That's it.
You're brave enough to have this baby, you are STRONG and beautiful person for choosing to have your baby and not have an abortion. You will be okay with him or without him. It's time to focus on yourself :) take care honey and don't think so much abour the dad, he should be there for you and if he isn't then let him do whatever he thinks is smarter doing. Don't worry about him. I know it's hard because I can't even do it myself, but it's time for US and OUR BABIES.
2007-10-04 09:07:50 · answer #6 · answered by Diana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you can handle it. I can give you all the advice i have if it will make you feel any better...
Your health it important, now more than ever. not only are you feeding yourself, but your little baby. If you eat about every hour, you won't feel as sick. before you go to bed eat some crackers, and when you wake up eat a couple more crackers.
Make sure that when you are home at night and just relaxing, that you put your feet up. use a pillow and prop them up on a couch or chair.
get baby books and watch all the shows. educate yourself. the more you read, the more you might be convinced you can handle this.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. Call up friends. just talk to people when you have questions. After the babies bron, get all the help you can. they can help with the baby while you sleep, cook you food, clean your house, or drive you places. you'll be amazed how much youll enjoy the help.
just do your best, that's all anyone should ask from you. use the help, use your reasources. i think you'll be fine.
congrats and good luck! =)
2007-10-04 09:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant at 17. My boyfriend went crazy about how 'his' life is over! When in reality his life has not changed a bit. He is still in high school and does not have a job and is still getting messed up everyday! I on the other hand worked very hard to graduate and at the beginning of my pregnancy I had two jobs, now just one. I am the one that goes to all the doctor and WIC appointments. I am the one that gave up on partying to take care of my body and baby. And I know that when the baby comes I am going to be the one doing everything, financially, physically, and emotionally, still! My family has been very supportive. And I know it is still very hard when your baby's father is not there for you. He is excited about the baby and even wants me and the baby to live with him at his moms house. All I can say is just do right for you and your baby and don't ever cetch yourself depending on him! I am now 18 years old and due in three weeks!
2007-10-04 09:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancy is very emotional no matter what! I'm 18 and 36 weeks pregnant. My son is due about a week after my 19th birthday. It's very stressful because it's so hard to get a good start when you're pregnant young. I'm living with my boyfriend and his family. That sucks. I wish we could be on our own but for now we just can't afford it. Try not to stress too much (I know how hard it is) things always seem to work out. When it seems like there's no hope just touch your belly! That's what I do:) Everything you're going through, and the struggles you will face will be worth it. Take care and congratulations!
2007-10-04 09:08:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crying a lot when you are pregnant is normal, no matter how old you are or if you are in a committed relationship. It is easier to get upset about the smallest things because of hormonal changes. It's good that you have great support at home, and even if your bf won't committ to you it's important that he be involved with the child and to help financially.
Raising a child single is difficult but there are a lot of rewards to being a parent and grandparent.
2007-10-04 09:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋