when ever we fight my husband brings up things i have done in the past like going to the casino, smoking and other things i have done 3 years ago and he seems to do this when he drinks that seems to be the only time we fight because i can't stand a drunk...or having him coming home late.he has went as far as kicking me out of his house as he calls it...my feelings are hurt and i'm mad i'm not even sure i love him any more because he has done it so many times......i have put so much in to this marrage as far as time money and energy in to the house.
2007-10-04 08:46:45 · 17 answers · asked by b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a similar situation in reverse...it sucks!!!!!!
email me if you want to talk.
2007-10-04 08:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Hank S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but... stay out of his house. Let him have his damn house, let him sit alone and stew in it. I have heard all this before, was the same exact way. If you want to save the marriage, go to counseling. It's never going to stop, it'll be the same thing over and over and over. When did he just start telling you to get out? Or has he always? Counseling is the only way I see to work on this, he can't keep treating you that way. Stop the drinking, also might be a good start. Nip the problem bringer in the bud.
2007-10-04 15:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by Ginger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest possibly marriage counseling, that may help if you want to save the marriage.
Are there children involved?
If there are children, DEFIANTLY try the counseling, even if you don't work things out to make the marriage work, at least you can split on better terms for the kids.
If there are no children, and you don't want to make it work, get divorced. Yes, there are too many divorces in the world today, however, this relationship does not sound healthy, and you should move on to a better life.
Good luck!
2007-10-04 15:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's called "emotional abuse" and he'd be called an "alcoholic"
alcoholics aren't any fun to live with. alcohol is a depressant and can leave a person depressed for DAYS after they've been drinking.
if you decide to get a divorce, don't walk away empty handed.... ask for your fair share... 1/2 of the value of the house and 1/2 of everything in it.... you worked hard to make your home.. and you ought to reap the rewards.
the rest is up to you. i hope you get good help here and that you can make a decision which is in your best interest.
hugs
2007-10-04 15:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you two have to establish your "rules" and the first should be Do not bring up the past. As tempting as it is..it's a no no. He needs to work on his anger problems if you fight when he drinks. Suggest marriage counseling or if he won't go, you go. But you don't have to leave it's your house too!!
2007-10-04 15:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well let me tell you something i've been there and done it i was in a relationship for 16 yrs with the father of my kids and boy he would get high and bring up things that i had did in the past and he would hit me as well. all the time he did this even in front of our kids so one day i got tried of him bringing up the past and hitting me so finally i got the guts to have him put away and let me tell you it's been 1yr and 1month since he's been out of my life and i feel so so happy i now have a new bf we also live together he's the best. so please dump that loser and find a real man. good luck!!!
2007-10-04 16:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by valrietorres 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy it is up to you to change your situation. If you want to try to save your marriage try to get some counselling. However, if you no longer love your husband you're just putting in time and it would be best to separate. Perhaps if you left him for a time he might be more concerned with your feelings as agree to seek help.
2007-10-04 15:54:48 · answer #7 · answered by Queenie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he kicked you out of YOUR own house?
He drinks and stays out late but you get all the blame for something you did 3 years ago... put an end to this childish behavior he exhibits or seperate unless you want to make it work. The only other resort would be counseling but he has to want it too
2007-10-04 15:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by cristelle R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Alcoholics Anonymous and have them direct you to the nearest Ala-non meeting. It's free and they have the best help you can get anywhere in the world.
Some one is an alcoholic any time their drinking causes problems.
2007-10-04 15:51:12 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think marriage counseling for the both of you might help, and AA meetings for him especially wouldn't hurt. If things don't change then maybe you could get a divorce?? Good luck to you.
2007-10-04 16:08:09 · answer #10 · answered by poetry_dreamer2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is being abusive. He needs to visit Alcoholics Anonymous. You need to visit Al-a-non. You may also need to look into a divorce.
Unfortunately, marriages, like other investments, have a chance of going bad. Better to get out now then to watch your investment get worse.
2007-10-04 15:50:42 · answer #11 · answered by Completely Anonymous 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋