She got served with harassment charges last week and since the has been a complete ***** about me seeing my sons, calls me every day telling me "I will drop those charges" getting her faimily to threaten me, ect.
I am 85% sure I am going to be moving 1.5 hours away. I think the harassment will stop then. My therapist, the prosecutor, and the city attorney all think it is a bad idea. She has went and hired an attorney for herself for a charge, at least first offense, that rivals jaywalking. I don't want to hurt her financially at all, all I want is the no contact ( restraining) order against her. All the attorneys tell me this is the only way, but on the other hand, I do have to raise kids with her for 16 more years, and if this is going to hurt the "friends" relationship, then it may be to much.
By the way, if I go through with the no contact order between now and it's experiation, if she violates it once, it is a year in jail, if she gets out and violates it again; it is a felony
2007-10-04 08:18:25 · 14 answers · asked by Dr. Barker 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK i have been a a somewhat similar situation with my ex he is actually on probation but he decided to steal some money from me and urinated on my front door and side walk. i felt bad having to call and press charges on him since we do have a child together but at the same time he is an adult so he has to deal with the consequences so he ended up going to jail and from that point he knows not to cross that line with me anymore and he gives me respect. your ex is an adult and you don't have to be friends with her just cordial. good luck and i wouldn't move simply bec she has "issues"
2007-10-04 08:33:12 · answer #1 · answered by idowhatiwant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting.. Although he has financial responsibility for his kids, it should remain just that. Of course the ex wife would probably want to have him back but talk to him frankly and tell him that you don't like it. Honesty is the best policy. If he truly cares for you, he wouldn't want to hurt you by communicating with his ex wife other than financial matters. Do you have an ex husband too? If you do, ask him how he would feel if you are doing the same thing?
2016-05-21 00:03:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think i would just move and hold off on the legalities. She is the mother of your children and if you are moving away, she won't have the open option to bug you. I think the less hard feeling in your relationship the easier it will be later. If this is a somewhat fresh wound, people do stupid things while in emotional pain. Its also horrible for the children when the parents are angry, don't you think she'll show her frustration and stress around the children? Think about the hardship they are already going to face with a split family. You need to be still until the anger passes(I know its hard to swallow your pride) and then rebuild some sort of amicable relationship from afar. good luck
try to remember her frame of mind is important because she is the one raising the children
2007-10-04 08:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to switch out with the children but that can be done in a public place. Tell the courts the issues you are having with visitation. If needed take a police escort when you go to pick them up. You need to do what you feel is best for your safety and sanity. Stop taking calls from her and her family. You need an attorney for her to communicate through since you do have children. Save any threatening messages she leaves on your machine. Consider getting custody of your sons if she is using them to hurt you, because that hurts them too.
2007-10-04 08:33:36 · answer #4 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ick. She assumes you will never throw her in jail. You're going to have to just suffer through it for the kids. The lawyers say don't move. LISTEN TO THEM. If you keep records of the harassment (it's also important that you seem the sane and stable party when the other side is being so melodramatic) and show it to the judge in a very collective manner (let your lawyer handle this) the judge will order, accordingly. They don't like it when one parent torments the other; it causes a rift between the other parent and the kids. The law is on your side, you have to keep it that way.
2007-10-04 08:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, but if she's stupid enough to violate it, and goes to jail, you would get custody of your boys. Hold on, for a sec, do you already have a restraining order on her? Because if you so, then she can't even call you or have her family threaten you that would be breaking the restraining order automatically. Some states have a places called safe havens, it's where it would be a safe place for you to meet with your boys and not even have to see her.
2007-10-04 08:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by cyndy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no law that says you HAVE to remain "friends" with an ex spouse. So stop worrying about ruining the "frienship basis" of your divorce. All you have to do is communicate with her about the children and to make sure they know their mother and have the oppritunity of visitation with her if they so choose, you don't HAVE to be friends "for the children's sake" If you don't want her harassing you any longer you will get the restraining order and have it stipulated that the kids will be "swapped" via another party if you want no contact with her. If she violates the order she goes to jail. YOU are the one keeping this mess going, if you want it to stop then stop it.
2007-10-04 09:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad you are seperated. You've already hurt the 'friends' relationship, or SHE did I should say. I would just consider which is more important, my CHILDREN, or are you actually scared of her? Sounds like she is doing stuff on her own to get in trouble. Call an attorney to get your rights about seeing your kids, not a restraining order. (by the way, that does nothing but put her in jail after she spits on you again) It's not right for her to act that way, but............ the kids will hold it against you if mommy gets in trouble.
2007-10-04 08:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
One thing you really need to do is keep your cool. Another thing you need to do is stay on the right side of the law. The other thing you need to do is keep the law informed of her action also. The thing about it all during the whole ordeal is that the law naturally sides with the female. However when they get those calls about the female acting as an @ss it completely turns around.
2007-10-04 08:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by reddbbird92 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sh!t on her front porch!
Oh, no...don't do that. But you must have really pissed her off for her to spit in your face.
Sadly, I'd say that both of you are acting very poorly considering the children. Life is hard enough w/out two parents being pissed off and both acting like @ssholes.
2007-10-04 08:59:31 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋