Okay people..... If you found out your spouse was having an affair and had told their new lover that they were divorced and lived alone would u file for divorce w/o thinking twice? Also.... if you were the new lover of somebody for lets say less than 3 months and found out they were not really divorced, but married w/2 kids and living at home with their spouse.... how would u feel about that person after that?
2007-10-04 08:08:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In part one, I would most certainly file for divorce, without a second thought. Part two: I would dump the person who was married. If they lied to me in the beginning of the relationship, what's to keep them from cheating on me and lying to me should our relationship deepen??
2007-10-04 08:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally, I would say infidelity would be cause for automatic divorce. After all, a marriage is about trust and faith in each other. Once she's betrayed that trust, how can you have as strong a marriage ever again?
That being said, if you have kids, then a marriage isn't just about you anymore. It's about you AND your kids. So for the sake of your kids, it might be worth seeing if there's a chance for reconciliation. Look into whether you could ever trust her again, why she cheated and how likely it is that she might do it again. Obviously it would never be the same, but again, you may need to put your kids first here.
As for if you were the other guy and found out someone was lying to you, I know I would leave that person. But it's always easier said than done. Obviously she lied and there's going to be a trust issue, and granted it's only been three months. But that's not to say that he's not in love with her either. So it probably depends on what his intentions were for being in that relationship. Whetehr it was more sexual or because he actually had feelings.
Either way, sounds like a tough situation.
2007-10-04 08:15:34 · answer #2 · answered by mrtcrownaffair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody's different. Some would divorce w/o thinking twice, and some people would try to work it out for the sake at the kids. It rally depends on the wife. She may be insecure or just doesn't want to break up her family. And it also depends on if the husband actually wants to stay.
And for the mistress......again, that depends on the person. Some mistresses would get really angry from the lies....especially from the fact that she didn't know she was a mistress. But 3 months is not really a strong base for a relationship....because he had to spend most of his time with his "original" family. Unless he REALLY laid it on thick. So, I believe that "new lover" should just move on. It might be hard...I actually feel sorry for her, because she didn't know. She was an innocent bystander......Hope that answers your question....
2007-10-04 08:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd think twice of course...I don't act irrationally. But I'd imagine it'd lead to divorce eventually. (from experience, my first husband was a dog. But love, hope, commitment, lies may keep you there longer than you should stay).
As for finding out someone was married when they had been telling me they were single. Automatic, break up and go away. Not a way to start a relationship at all.
2007-10-04 08:14:55 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would never let myself be the other woman, if a guy talks about being separated or already divorced,there's baggage right there regardless if he's telling the truth.
if i found out my spouse is cheating i would talk to him first then give him a chance and divorce him after
2007-10-04 08:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by Adrienne L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There would be no question or doubt in my mind what to do. If you think that little of me that you would go out claiming to be divorced, then let's make it a reality. I wouldn't waste my time on this relationship, obviously the respect factor has lost its place here. Move on.
Good luck to you
2007-10-04 08:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by lashenica j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take the kids and make sure she paid me some child support. Although now a days you better have pictures or she is still gonna rake you over the coals in court.
And if I were the other guy I would not care cause it was just sex to me.
2007-10-04 08:18:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would divorce them. if they want people to think they are single, then let them be single. If a guy I was dating told me he was single when he wasn't, it would be over. No room for bargaining.
2007-10-04 08:35:54 · answer #8 · answered by microwavedkat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In both scenarios dump the bustard
2007-10-04 08:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd leave for the convent at that point and to hell with the men!!!
2007-10-04 08:12:44 · answer #10 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋