I'd like full custody of my child. What's a good way to do this? read on for details...?

Question

I live in PA. I'd like to get full custody of my child from my previous marriage. With these facts, do any of you with experience in this think I can get custody?

-I have a nice home, and a job. The X, going to school, never realyl held a job, has a live in B/F who makes all the money.
My wife, also full time student, part time worker, but when all is said and done, both of us with be able to provide for the child far better than my X is.

- My X plans on moving out of state in the neer future with her new guy. From what I understand, she can not do this without permission from me. I love the kid too much to see her go anywhere, but in oreder to better provide, they feel they need to move to another state. This is not becaseu of anything the X is doing to improve her own life, it's the guy she's with.

- My X is very un-cooperative when it come to seeing my daughter. For instance, will not help me out with the driving. I'm OK with meeting me half way one day out of the weekend, and doing the driving at the end of the weekend. SHe of course begs for gas money (which I beleive is what Child support is paying for) But now claims she is not going to do this ever again! This take quality time away from me seeing my daughter. Plus I work, (she doesn't) and by the time I get her to my place lets say on a friday, it'll be 9 -10 at night.

- I would be able to provide medical benefits to my daughter becaseu of where I work. She has no benefits, and her guy can't get them for her (I believe) becasue he is not a legal guardian.

Help! I really love my daughter and want her to have the best, which I feel my wife and I can provide for her. (My family also agrees) Is there anyway I, being the dad, who sadly always gets the crap end of the stick in these circumstances, can receive full custody

I would plan on getting an attourney. But I wanted to see if anyone knew rfom experience that the laywer expenses would be worth it. If I have absolutely NO chance of gaining custody just because I'd like it, I'd stop now and see what happens later.

Thanks for the help everyone...keep offering suggestions if you can.

Nicole S: What the hell was that all about? Yes the Child does have MY last name.

Answer 1

Do not waist your time...
Go at:

http://www.fathers-resources.com/

I attend every Wed. meeting.
It's incredible.

Do not listen to feminists and "sergeants", you CAN have the custody, it's a matter of attitude.

God Bless Us All.

Answer 2

unless there is major harm being done to your child, you'd never get a change of custody. the best any attorney can do for you is get increased visitation.
the ex is going to school, which shows potential and momentum. that's a good thing, not a bad thing. having a live in boyfriend doesn't do anything for you either. however, if she does get married and gets a good attorney, she can motion to the court to move from your state. that's actually alot easier to do then you think.
look at it this way. you say the two of you can provide for your child better then your ex can. but your ex and her possible new hubby can still do better then you alone. so that's no argument. so take a step back and see the situation as just you and the ex rasing your child without any outside influence. she still has custody of your child. that doesn't change anything.
so say she moves with the potential hubby, gets married, he provides so much she can be a stay at home mom. well...that would settle that argument in a flash for the judge.
look, i didn't have custody of my two boys for 2 years. i used to work for a family law attorney. i went through all his files. i'm a nosey person.
you need a better argument. sorry, but that's the truth.

Answer 3

My brother just went through this and it is hard for the man to get full custody of the children. It is true she cannot move out of state unless it is okay with you. Look around for the best custody attorney and explain to them everything that is going on. Do they smoke? Do drugs? Have any criminal record? Drink excessively? Any bad habits that they have that you do not will help you in the case. Like you said you have a nice home. Where do they live? Best thing to do is find the best custody lawyer you can and take your case to the judge. My family lives on the Oh - Pa border so when my brother went through it he contacted Pennsylvania and Ohio lawyers I recommend looking far for a good attorney. Good luck with your case and I wish you well.

Answer 4

Hi... check your divorce papers.. if your child's "domicile" was set to Pennsylvania, and/or the particular county you live in, then your wife can't move. You might want to remind her of this.. she will be in contempt of court if she moves the child without consulting you.

Just because your ex doesn't work now, doesn't make her an unfit parent.

I have some suggestions and the first and foremost is -- what does the child want to do???? have you taken the child's feelings and desires into consideration? maybe you could.

If the child wants to live with you, then start court proceedings or talk to your wife. If not, leave it alone. (however, your ex still can't just move out of state if your child's domicile is set to PA).

Being able to "provide" for a child is great -- but meeting emotional needs is the most important thing to remember.

take care.

Answer 5

First of all, child custody is NOT all about what YOU can provide financially. It doesn't matter WHOM your ex is living with doesn't matter if she has ever held a job, doesn't matter if she is going to school. Your ex does not HAVE to meet you half way on the commute to YOUR visitations, IF you wanted to visit your children as much as you pretend to driving the full distance wouldn't be a problem for you? WHY are you not paying medical expenses for your child? Did you not offer at the time of the split? My ex was at least a half way decent father and offered to keep our daughter on his insurance and to be responsible for her medical bills HE had it put into the decree. IF you're such a caring father why didn't YOU have that put into your decree? Money is only a portion of what it takes to raise a child...you SAY you love your "kid" but all you can do is run down the child's mother because of her living situation. You sound more vindictive than loving father.

Answer 6

See the easiest way you could've done it to where you have full custody of your child is by letting your child have your last name only and no that bastards, because I am actually going through the same thing my baby's daddy is going around saying that I don't even know who my baby's daddy is but that is not true because he was the only guy that I was with that day and night. Also, I know the day that I got pregnant and he was the only guy I was with. But ***** is gonna stop talkin all his shyt when he has to pay money for a baby that he halped make and that he sure as hell is gonna take care of I'll be damned if he don't.

Answer 7

that'll be tricky. Its hard to get custody switched after its done without a need for it, ie. abuse.

Is your child in school? Is he doing well in school and does he have a good group of friends?

If so, you could try to go that route, you dont want to "uproot" the child from the life he has grown accustomed to and cause him any un-needed stress. You would like custody so he can stay in the same school system where he is succeeding and where he has a good group of influential friends.

That or talk with your wife about it. But its going to be hard to convince a judge to switch custody "just because." Which is how this will be seen from their perspective.

Answer 8

I do not know however folks in America aren't to be relied on on the subject of youngsters. They will take your child and promote him in the event that they would; you must be completely satisfied he is together with his mother. I would not ruffle too many feathers if I have been you due to the fact you despatched him the entire option to America and signed a letter giving her custody honestly she must have taken you to courtroom that letter isn't well ample however you as a rule introduced this on your self; you must certainly not have permit your son from your sight should you wish to preserve custody. I might battle to preserve my son he does not need to come the entire option to America simply to be trained English.

Answer 9

It can be done. It will be hard as courts are biased to the mother. What you need to do is start a journal and anytime you hear of anything that is not appropriate in your child's life you need to document it, ie....meals - no vegetable served, missed school because they over slept or was late...the live in boyfriend won't be an asset. My husbands ex is really a loose cannon....he doesn't want to traumatize the kids by moving them away from the place that they have grown up...from what I understand though, we would have no problem getting them. Get a really grounded attorney who knows the rules in and out and knows the judges very well. My friend went by the court house and talked to a clerk there about who were in her opinion the best attorneys for divorce, striking up conversation casually - acting like he didn't like his current attorney....play it smart and you can win.

Answer 10

She can't move. It's as simple as that. You can try to get custody, but unless she's an unfit mother, you aren't going to win unless she relinquishes control. If you don't want to lose your kid, then put your foot down. They can't move.

She can't go against the child custody orders. If she is taking visitation rights away from you and going against the orders, then you need to take her back to court.

Answer 11

What do your papers say? Usually it says you can't move without permission but a court could override that. Your best defense here is that she's not married to this guy. If they were married a judge would most certainly allow her to move.

You need to get a lawyer and hash this out.