i am under shock, we just got back together again 5 weeks ago ,and now he left me again, to go back to his co-worker whom he left me for the 1st time. yes i took his sorry behind back and was willing to try to make it work, (we been together for 6 years) . i knew he saw this girl everyday at work and called her a lot but i was hoping and praying he would stay with me. i am devestated and can't go to work tonight, how do i deal with this mess, i am in tears and atthis moment feel like dying. he left me a letter explaining it was all my falt and he is in love with his co-worker that hurts! help somebody
2007-10-04 07:44:48 · 24 answers · asked by maria s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are better of without him. I went through this before but the difference is he went back to his mothers house. He would leave a few things behind so that he would have something to come back for. I fell for it probably 3 times. I would call and say you left your this or you left that. The last time I was done I didn't call and I just let it go started going out enjoying in my life. 1 month later he called and wanted to talk and I told him "no" but fell for it again. Then finally one day I woke up and I was the one that left and that was the best day in my life. I had to take responsibility that he was playing with my emotions it was a 7 year relationship and I let it go. I think you need to be strong. I know how you feel inside but you need to play it off like it doesn't matter. Cry on the inside but let him think you are happy on the outside. He will end up doing the same to the co-worker that he is doing to you.
2007-10-04 07:58:06 · answer #1 · answered by <Carol> 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is painful and I know that right now it feels like the end of the world. You'll just have to trust me when I say, it isn't.
First of all, it takes two to make a relationship work or fail. He bears equal responsibility so don't let him lay it all off on you.
Secondly, it sounds like he is a jerk and you will be better off without him.
Lastly, nothing is a waste if you learned something. Hopefully from this you learned the warning signs that a relationship isn't working or the signs that someone is lying and having an affair. You have learned that you will never allow yourself to be treated this way.
Cry, be angry, be upset and then pull it together. You were you before him and you will be you after him. You aren't defined by your relationship with him but rather by who you are inside.
2007-10-04 14:51:28 · answer #2 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are hurting. Break ups aren't easy but they happen. Take tonight off, have a good friend come over, and talk about how you feel. He's not the guy for you if he'd leave you twice for some other chick...get MAD! You're not hurting because he's gone, you're hurting because the guy you WISH he was, is gone. He's not that guy...don't miss the guy that left (that's not a nice guy).
It'll take time for your heart to heal, but it will happen if you let it. Fill your time with friends, family, hobbies, work, school, etc (whatever activities that'll keep you busy and distracted). After while it'll hurt less to think about him (the meanie!) and you'll think about him less and less.
Take care of you!
2007-10-04 14:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men and Women alike, dont understand that when someone clearly doesnt want to be with you anymore, you should let it go.
Yes it hurts, I know this, Ive been cheated on so many freakin times, trust me. But live and learn from your mistakes. Dont take him back anymore. My husband cheated on me with a co-worker 8 years ago, but when I let him back in my life, he had to quit that job, and only go out when Im with him. If not, he was out, and til this day, he never goes anywhere without me. He doesnt complain really either. He just does whatever it takes to keep me. He tells me that too.
THis is how most people are. People dont want to be with someone who seems desperate. This is important. Dont let him know that this hurst you, using the guilt trip thing is only going to make him feel sorry for you, but doesnt make him want you.
You HAVE to NOT call him, email him, or any other way of contacting him. Dont even make excuses to see him such as You left your cd or shirt here, do you wanna come pick it up, or want me to drop it off? NO NO NO.
Second, hes left you twice for the same chick, this means she is his heart, not you. And if he leaves her again for you, it doesnt make you more important than she is to him, it really only means that you both matter the same to him, and he will keep going back and forth between the two of you.
I cant stress this enough. Dont be dumb about it. dont believe everything he says. Dont be DUMB! My friend's husband is cheating on her right now with his co-worker and he tells her that he stopped seeing her, but yet, little things like him coming home late, or not wanting her to go with him to a restaruant is fishy, but yet she still insist that hes done with her...how can a man stop seeing someone just because he was caught with her. It doesnt change his feelings for her at all, or for you. He wants both, expecially that he still works with the chick.
anyway, move on...its the best way, and only way I know.Ive done this so many times to get over a few guys. But dont settle for an alright guy. Move on with the best looking guy, that is the most attractive to you. No ugly guys, because it wont help you. Go on myspace and make friends, go to Yahoo personals, and sign up for a 6 month membership, tons of cute guys that are looking for a relationship. Trust me, in a matter of days, youll find yourself talking to this new cute guy, who wants to take you out and have dinner, and life will be so much better.
JUST try it. What do you have to loose? Your ex? Hes already gone right?
2007-10-04 15:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by laura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are going through this girl. Please know that none of this is your fault. I know that you feel like you have just wasted 6 years of your life, but take it as a lesson learned and thank GOD it wasn't 10 years. Pull yourself together and go to work. Do anything you can to keep your mind off of him. Get together with girlfriends, meet new people, take a trip. Just remember what comes around goes around and he will get what he deserves and you will be OK in time. good luck sweetie!!
2007-10-04 14:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick yourself up and dust off your pants....Your boyfriend is a jerk that never respected you.....You are far better off without a man that wants to put all the blame on you for the deterioration of your relationship.....DO NOT ever let him come back....You gave him his second chance....he deserves no more! I can understand that you are upset and are hurting...because I would feel the same way if I were in your position......But want to know the best revenge is? Is to suck it all up....go on with your life as though he meant nothing to you.....Don't let him see the pain that he has caused....and SMILE...Give him a reason to be suspicious about what is going on in your life...It will take time..but you are strong.....there are plenty of decent men in this world that will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.
2007-10-04 14:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear what u have gone through but always know that's it never ur fault.it involves two person to make things work...(and also go wrong) so 1st ting is-dont look down on urself.
he's not worth the tears.
work urself up, be among close friends, if not make new.
join a club, or sports.
learn dancing,get a hobby.
u have a lot in life that u can manage without him.
i promise u...one day he will regreat his decision when u outshine him.
trust me....it happen to me. it can happen to u
2007-10-04 14:51:49 · answer #7 · answered by kristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh!! what a turd! hey you can not force this guy to love u or want u...sorry to say...and anyway...you would not want a person like this in your life who loves u then leaves u then comes back the leaves etc...that is unstable and that is not real love. what u need to do is pick urself up and go on with your life because i am sure that there will be a nice gentleman in your life soon and it will not be this cheater of a man either...u will find love i am sure of that just let the other one go and dont take him back ever again cuz only reason he comes back is for a piece of booty...and to use u...not to love u so dont stoop to his sorry level....do not take this person back ever.
2007-10-04 14:52:15 · answer #8 · answered by NEWPORT BEACH GIRL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off it is not your fault. He is not a man. He is a boy.
Change you locks, do not have any contact at all with him.
Spend lots of time with your friends and family. Make a list of 10 things that you have always wanted to do. Do one thing a week.
Do something really nice for yourself (get your hair done, nails done).
Good luck and remember you deserve better!
2007-10-04 14:59:47 · answer #9 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. You can't make decisions based on what you "hope" will happen. You have to make decisions based on what is real. I guess you learned that the hard way. You are better off without him and you will realize that when you get past the natural mourning period you will experience. I am so sorry you are suffering, but that is how we learn.
2007-10-04 14:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋