He is in the Army and we live on base so paying for houseing is not a problem. We have been married for 8 months and we seem to never have money. He got paid Fri, and with out paying any of our bills we now have $30. He spends atleast $50 to $60 aday. He wants kids but how can I have kids with him while being scared that we wont be able to take care of them. I only have enough food for dinner to last 3 days and payday is more then a week away.
This is making my life very hard. I have been depressed and it is hurting our sex life. I sold my car to move out here with him and I quit a great job. I left my whole life behind and he tells me things will change. I am very limited to where I can work because of old injurys I got while in the Army.
My heart is telling me to stay with him. But my stess level may be killing me. I dont sleep any more except maybe 4hrs aday. Im sick after eating. Im already on Meds.
What do I do???
BTW I dont spend any money other then grocreys.
2007-10-04 07:37:24 · 9 answers · asked by This Sucks 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does not want me to work. But Im still looking for a job.
2007-10-04 07:41:49 · update #1
Actually, it makes me really angry to hear of this kind of selfishness. It is so unfair.
Obviously, he is never going to be able to handle the financial affairs, being a spendthrift.
I think your best bet is to see a counsellor together and if that doesn't work, ask yourself if this is really what you expected from your marriage.
If he won't change (as in let you deal with the financial side due to admitting he is a spendthrift) you will have to consider making a new life for yourself.
2007-10-04 07:42:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that is common and must be worked at together. Mu suggestion is to get him to agree to keep track of everything he spends his money on for a month. Once you total up all the monies that he spends he will see how frivolous certain catagories really are. From this point he will be more interested in changing his ways. Craft a budget and give him an allowance just like he is a little kid if he cant seem to get with the program. A more drastic approach would be to stop serving dinner when your money runs out in the middle of the week. If he wants to eat he will stop blowing the available cash. God bless you both for keeping us safe in these troubled times. If there is any way you think I can help further just contact me. I am a great finacial/budget person.
2007-10-04 07:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi... it seems as if you and your husband need to have a calm discussion about finances and making a budget.
A budget IS necessary if a family wants to be able to pay bills, and especially save money for the future and also any "toys" we may want, or extras.
I am sorry you sold your car and that you can't work right now. I hope that situation changes for you, if that is what you want.
meanwhile, let your husband know you are worried about the finances and would like to get together and make a budget that you both can live by.
and i hope you are able to find a nice hobby or do something for YOU once in a whle. it's really unfair that you don't have a few dollars for yourself.
hugs
2007-10-04 07:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does he spend $50-60 a day on?
You need to confiscate his debit card and any cash in his wallet. He is being very irresponsible. When you serve him bread and butter for dinner 3 nights in a row, and your electricity gets turned off, maybe he'll get the message. Maybe not. It's time for you to take a stand or else you are going to suffer a mental breakdown. Get your own bank account, in your name only. When he gets paid, put the majority of the money in your account to pay the bills, buy food, etc. Leave him a little spending money in your joint account. When he complains, tell him you don't want to starve anymore and if he can't act like a man and step up to the plate and be responsible, well, that's too bad.
2007-10-04 07:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What is spending it on?
Look you need to have a serious grown up conversation. You need to tell him how much you love and admire him. Explain to him you need him to take care of you. Ask him what he thinks you could both do to improve your financial situation. Tell him that you will work with him to formulate a budget that you both will stick to. Explain that you want to have children also, but you need to make sure that there will be savings for a rainy day.
Good Luck! Give him lots of support. Men do not respond well to nagging, complaining and whining.
2007-10-04 07:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When one person is good with the money and the other person isn't the person who isn't should be smart enough to hand over the finances to the person who is.
That's what successful businesses do....that's what successful marriages SHOULD do.
Talk to your husband about what's best for the marriage.
2007-10-04 07:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GIRL!! You have to sit him down and tell him that he is being very selfish and it's not about him anymore. Tell him that he has to save his $$, not just blow and go and STRESS to him how important it is to pay bills on time and then groceries, save a little then spend what's left over....GOOD LUCK!!
2007-10-04 07:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go find a job you can handle, get a separate bank account, pay off as many bills as possible, and think about getting a divorce.
2007-10-04 07:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
take control over the finances then....put him on a budget
2007-10-04 07:40:44 · answer #9 · answered by reddbbird92 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋