2 miscarages in 6 months, i went to docs for some help, she told me i need to loose weight & be more possitive, im only a size 16-18 & i have seen fatter people then me getting pregnant, how can i be positive when i have just lost 2 babies!!! she said that she wont help me with treatment untill i am 22-23, as im only 20 now, am in a good relationship, due to get married, and have my own property, she says that im not old enough or ready for a child, me and my partner have been trying for 2 yrs now and i dont know what is wrong, i can get pregnant but just cant carry it. she was very rude & didnt really care, i know she had to be honist but she could have been nicer about it, she also said that their is only a 10% chance that i would ever carry full term, its so hard & i want to know has anybody else gone through this and been successful (or not) and to have other views on this and what to next. please help me cos im going out my mind.
2007-10-04 06:57:35 · 10 answers · asked by some people are rude 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Run, don't walk, to another doctor!!
All opinions aside about whether she was right in what she said, the fact remains that she made you feel bad and you can't have a good doctor-patient relationship when she makes you feel bad.
My OBGYN did not refuse to treat me due to my weight, and I'm a size or two larger than you are. he did tell me that it was essential to lose weight, but never made me feel bad.
Find another doctor, and see what a second opinion can do for you. Good luck!!!
2007-10-04 08:21:21 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get another doctor. They are there to help and provide information. If this one isn't doing that, get another.
You need to know why you aren't carrying full term and what to do about it. Yes, you are young but having a baby is your decision - not hers!
And yes, larger people than a size 18 give birth ALL the time. Perhaps however, for your body type it would be better to lose weight. You can discuss that with your new doctor. For some people, their body doesn't function properly when even 5 lbs. over their ideal body weight.
You should know what is going on with your body. Have a list of questions you want answers to and bring those to your appointment. It also might be good to "interview" new doctors that you would like to see so you can get the best fit.
Best of luck. Remember, be pro-active with your medical needs and decisions.
2007-10-04 07:06:37 · answer #2 · answered by booboo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would agree with all the other anwers here and go and get a new doctor.
You say you are due to get married soon why not just relax and enjoy that instead of getting pregnant and who knows it may happen aswell. Enjoy your wedding day without a child.
Age doesnt matter and you are old enough to have have kid, I am 25 and have been married for a year and we are now just starting to try for a baby as we now feel we are ready, but everyone is different.
You are not to big to carry a child full term but how abouts while you are trying and waiting to get married why not try to loose some weight and that may help aswell. (not trying to be rude sorry please dont take it that way) just trying to give you chances of being able to concieve and carry without another miscarrage
2007-10-04 11:18:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new doctor hun. I could see them telling you that if you were in high school, but at 20, it is non of his/her business.
Also, your inability to carry could be caused by something unrelated to your reproductive system that you would need to know about and need to get the proper tests (Im not trying to scare, Im saying that you need a doctor that will look in to the problem properly)
Ive had docs tell me before "Eh, youre young, you have time" and Im 24. To be honest, since I plan on having 3 or 4 kids eventually, I dont think I am too young, and trust me, Im the last of my friends to have kids, most of them had them at 20-21.
Find a new doc that is going to help you and maybe find a therapist to help with the loss of your other babies. If your insurance wont cover that, ask another doc about support groups or free or discounted counseling.
Good luck! I hope you find someone that can help you!
2007-10-04 07:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a new doctor! Also, take your old doctor's advice and lose the weight. Yes, there are bigger girls out there who have given birth, but you are not one of them. You already had two miscarriages. Weight is a factor.
Besides, what's the rush? Take a break from trying to have a baby and focus on yourself for a while. Go on a vacation with your man, come up with a goal to lose weight and have fun with it. A baby will come but you need to relax and prepare yourself mentally and spiritually for it.
My husband and I are going to be trying for a baby in July. Until then, my focus is to be in the best shape possible for a healthy and safe birth and to have as much fun as I can, because I know when baby comes, there will be a lot less travel and cocktail parties for a while.
2007-10-04 07:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by Peace 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally know what you are going through... same with me... I've had 2 ectopic pregnancies, got married at 23 and had 2 doctors be rude to me. We are probably the same size and Yes, that's what they would tell me all the time, that I needed to lose weight and to not worry because I was only 23... so I changed doctors to another man, same thing, with one of my loses, I was soo depressed, becuase I already start loving as soon as I know I'm pregnant... so while I was depressed and almost in tears the receptionist were very rude to me, so I swithed doctor's again and went with a women who is an infertility specialist... she is awesome, sent me to do all kinds of labs and test and fugured that I was fine and started treating me with medications to help me ovulate. she has also mentioned that she has alot of patients that are bigger than me who have no problems getting pregnant but all bodies are different. I'm very comfortable with her. But it's been 5 years since marriage, when I started ttc and haven't achieved it. took a pg test 2 nights ago and neg. will take one tomorrow morning (just in case) and then just wait till next month to try again. Good luck to both of us.
2007-10-04 07:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by Optimistic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get some mental help to deal with the miscarriages and then think about getting pregnant. Why are you trying so had to get pregnant at 20? Weight can be a big factor in a healthy pregnancy. Are you financially stable,have you finished college,you sure the marriage will work? The M.D. was just trying to get you to see these things,yes she could have been nicer,but she was being honest.
2007-10-04 07:06:38 · answer #7 · answered by Ginger1 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
report that dr to the medical board!! Its not her business if you are married or young. You have a medical need, and she should help you.
2007-10-04 07:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not going to the right Dr, can't you have your Gynecologist refer you to one?
What about friends, they are the best referral source.
You may have to search until you find one you like, not all Dr have a good bedside manor
2007-10-04 07:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a new doctor, PRONTO!!
2007-10-04 07:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by s7e28w81 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋