I'm 26, been married for 9 years, we have kids together and I've been completely dependant on him. I stayed home and took care of my family. So, I have no way of supporting my children let alone myself. I can't go to anyone in my family since they don't have enough room for us. What do I do? I'm at my wits end. It's not just being unhappy; it's also putting up with abuse. I don't want to take my kids to a shelter but what other options do I have?
2007-10-04 06:52:17 · 27 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have the perfect solution.
One of my bestfriends who is 25 also, married for 6 years, is in this same situation. He cheats on her, they fist fight, he calls her slut, hoe, b!t#ch, everything, and doesnt let her go out because he's also so jealous too. Her parents are very poor who lives in a 3 bedroom duplex with 6 kids, and so there is no room for her and her 3 children there.
I just started working with an insurance company, and I have made pretty decsent money, working part time, about 10-15 hrs a week. I make atleast $900 a week doing this part time, but Im going full time (16-25 hrs a week ) next month. I told her about it, but she hasnt done anything about it, but if you are determined to make a life for yourself, and your children, email me, and I will help you through it. Just stay with your husband for another 4-5 weeks, take an online insurance class that only takes 1 week tops. Passing the state exams is easy. I have a secret weapon, and I passed the first time. Hardly anyone ever passes the first time because they dont study the right things, and I know an easy way to do this that wont give you a headache.
If you really dont love him anymore, and you really do want to leave him, then take this 1 week class online, study for 3 weeks the way I tell you, and within 5 weeks, your license will be in the mail, and you can start working right a way.
Making good money in insurance depends on the company you go to and the quality of their leads. My company has one of the best leads, because we get folks who request us to call them with more information, and we do that, set an appointment, and close the sale. Of course not everyone buys, sometimes they just want more info, but 50% of them do buy so the money is honestly really good if you dont mind traveling to appointments at clients home. I actually work from my home calling folks who asked me to call them, then I set an appointment to meet with them in there home, and usually close the sale then and there. WE get paid weekly, so I close on a tuesday, I get paid next Wednesday, I get direct deposit so its fast.
If your just letting out steam and dont really want to leave, then it is why you have not done anything about it, just like my bestfriend who is probably in a worse situation then you are. But good luck with that, cause only you can change your outcome, because he isnt going to.
2007-10-04 07:13:00 · answer #1 · answered by laura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you hoard money from your joint bank account a little at a time meanwhile get a part time job and save everything. Serving would be good. Quick shifts and quick money. Start packing up a little bit at a time.Your important stuff of course and then store it at a friend or families. Then when you have saved enough go find your self a place and get a restraining order against him. Then when you separate you take him to court get child support and you should bring in enough income to support you and your family. Make sure you tell the court that you didn't work while you were married.
2007-10-04 07:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calmed down, everythings has a solution in this life.
First is to find a plce to stay at least for a shot time. Ask a friend to let you stay while you find a job, instead you can cook or clean or whatever else.
Then if you find the job, make sure to expend the less possible, to save some money. Also you can make various things at the same time, you can be a nanny or something like that.
Don't put your kids on a shelter, no way! Keep them always with you no matter what, they need to grow up with their mother.
Good luck and be patience~
2007-10-04 06:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking your children to a shelter is better than keeping them in an abusive sitaution! I had a friend in high school who had an abusive stepfather. Her mother and she went to stay in a shelter until her mother got on her feet. My friend was much happier there because it was safe. Your kids will feel the same way. And just because your family can't take you in doesn't mean they will not be supportive. I am sure that they will help you work on getting a job and your own place to live. They love you and will help you out too. In the meantime get yourself and your children away from this man!
2007-10-04 06:57:19 · answer #4 · answered by *Almost ready* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are still so young! Younger then me- I am 27 and can't imagine being in your position. The govt will help you! Go to your local welfare department ) and dont be ashamed- you really need this) and they will help get you a place and food, etc. Dont stay b/c you feel stuck! You have your WHOLE life ahead of you and being unhappy is not worth it. You were very young when you and your husband married. Now that you are older you realize that he is not the one- happens all the time. If he is bad to you then go to the police. ( only if your scared)! If he will be nice and share custody , then you should talk to him and work all that out- it will make your divorce much easier! I wish you so much LUCK!!!!!!!
I know this is hard but you will regret it if you dont do it. You will have a new life and you can be HAPPY!
2007-10-04 07:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off if you are totally depending on him then he still has to pay your way until you can do it on your own. he would have to pay you spousal & child support. Maybe you should go to a shelter b/c they help u faster then anyone i know. I know of a similar sitaution and she got spousal support & child support cus she never worked he paid for everything so he had to pay her until she could do it on her own plus you will always have the child support. Or ask him to leave but b4 you do get a PFA & file for both types of support don't let him know anything and if there is anyone you can talk to in the mean time do it. Make a call to your local shelter just incase you have to leave they will come get you. If you have a car make sure it's in your name b/c he can take it from you. if you ahve any other questions email me.
2007-10-04 07:00:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are a strong woman so take your children to a shelter and do what a womans got to do. I would rather my kids have someone where to stay and a hot meal in a shelter then be with an abusive husband. It's not healthy and in the end it is going to leave a psycological scar within your children.
2007-10-04 07:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by Flyyasever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can move in with family (even if you have to sleep on floor) and then get a job. Get child support from the father and have a plan so you can get out quick. There are State run organizations who can also help you, look into those. If you can get a family member to help then make sure you and children are good guests, clean up after yourself and go to the park or something so the family can have their home to themselves once in awhile. Good luck...
2007-10-04 07:04:09 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start working and salting money away on the side that he doesn't know about. This may take a few yrs, but its better than doing nothing and it will give you hope. I suggest you sit down and write out a plan and follow it. You have a very pretty smile, I wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-04 07:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are responsible for your happiness. You are not trying to help yourself.
Go see an attorney. Most will give you a free consultation so that you will know what your options are.
Get a positive attitude. Millions of woman have overcome more than you and have succeeded.
It all starts with you taking the first step!
2007-10-04 07:03:47 · answer #10 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋