my husband is very dear, but his jealousy does not do our relationship any good. today he crapped all over me for taking one of our workers to his work site in my car. to me I am simply doing our job. we have a construction business together and is doing very well, but I cannot accept living under this continious strains anymore. after the "drama' this morning I switch of my cell and just "disappreared" for the day...how do I handle this
2007-10-04 06:50:01 · 22 answers · asked by wife in South Africa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is hope. My wife and I went through a same thing.
This is what we did.....
1. You and your husband has to separate wife/husband and business owners. Work cannot interfere with home and vice versa. At work put on the hard hat and go to work, at home take the hat off and be home.
2. I am guessing but he is the boss at work, so I am guessing that he is trying to be the boss at home also. That is not fair, he has to give you somewhere to go that is safe.
3. Treat each other with respect, he probably treats other nicer than you, and you are probably nicer to others than him, that is where the jealously comes in. Many times we treat our love ones worst than strangers, expecting them to understand; but usually they get hurt.
4. Get away together once a month...no business, no cell. Just oil, candles and a hot tub. Reconnect!
5. The marriage comes first, business second...if the strains are two much...you find or he finds another job....Some couples cannot separate professional and personal. This way you will not have to answer to each other all the time.
Good Luck
2007-10-04 07:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only inform you of what i would do if this was me, 1st ,i would let him know how this makes me feel if that didnt do any good then 2nd i would give a suggestion of some type of compromise like :ok if that upset you dear then perhaps you would like to help our worker to get to our worksite.then if he still keeps doin this kind of thing give an ultimatum if you continue to be this way i will have to consider not being here for you any more. then as a last resort if he still doesnt respond in a positive manner it may be time to consider a divorce. or maybe even some counseling if you'd rather save your marriage.
2007-10-04 06:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by dderry216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds very insecure, though I wouldn't call him that to his face, it would probably upset him. Try talking to him calmly, and ask him if he WILL talk to you calmly before any discussing starts.
Tell him how you're feeling and that you just can't turn these feelings off. Tell him how he is putting restraints on you and you feel "trapped" and stressed.
Remind him of the wedding vows you took together and that you plan on keeping them and that nothing like that (having an affair) would ever happen because you love him. Reassure him that HE is the only man for you and that you have no desire to cheat on him and that it won't happen.
Also, try a relationship councilor.
I'm not sure how good my answers are. >_< I hope they help you.
2007-10-04 06:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by HK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could do a yahoo search on COPING WITH A JEALOUS SPOUSE, or DEALING WITH JEALOUSY... and similar searches.
maybe you'd find good information about how to deal with him and also perhaps some good ways to appoach him about it.
i'm not a psychologist, but i do know there are many, many great self-help websites out there.
you could ask your husband to talk and let him know first and foremost that you love him and care about him -- you could ask him if he would stop and just listen without saying anything...then, let him know how you feel -- "i feel mistrusted" is one thing you could say. you could tell him that you are not interested in anyone else, and there is no reason for him to worry or feel jealous.
Truly, hon, if you are involved in a construction business, you are going to be around men sometimes -- it's just comes with the territory.
And from my personal experience ONE man is quite enough to have to put up with!!! argh!!
take care and i hope you get some great answers here.
2007-10-04 07:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain how desperate you are to have things change. Tell him you cannot live this way any longer. Ask to see a marriage counselor. If he refuses (which he probably will) you may have to take desperate measures and just leave for a while. It will be bad because he will feel he has lost total control. Be careful. Controling men tend to go off the deep end when they don't have their "control" any longer.
2007-10-04 06:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by Paula D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont stay. If you can disappear for a day, and your situation is that bad, disappear for a long time and see if he gets the message. No matter what way you look at it, you are being abused. hat is neither acceptable or tolerable. I wish you well
2007-10-04 06:56:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell him to get a grip or he will be all alone and will have no one to control and bully any more. The longer you stick around and except this abuse the longer he will continue to dish it out... Don't take it for one more minute!!! He needs to get help.
2007-10-04 06:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
specific. till the rats get to them, shops of fantastic Ramen noodles are envisioned to have a shelf life of 3000 years, and can be used as a sponge whilst the full block of this is dipped in water.
2016-11-07 06:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be my friend anytime. I also have extreme marriage problems. I'm 40, 15 yrs married.
2007-10-04 06:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by pain_of_unhappiness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't acknowledge that he has a problem, there is no room for you to be there. Talk to him about how you feel about him, without pointing any fingers.
2007-10-04 06:55:58 · answer #10 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋