it still affects me, even though no one believe me other than my 2 cousins and my bf at the time. i just had jury duty and i was exused because of the nature of the case was simular to mine but to a greater extream. i was wondering even though it happened along time ago should i tell my stepmother, she wants to know why i was excused. im really scared that she might look down on me. we have recently started getting along and i dont want to ruin the relationship. i have caused some problems in the past regarding my teen years and i have learned from them. i just dont want her to think this is some despret attemped to get attention. help me i fell like crying forever.
2007-10-04 06:26:52 · 15 answers · asked by lisa D 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
sweety I'm so sorry that this happened, do you really trust your stepmother? if you think she wouldn't believe you then you should trust your instinct, but I would definitely seek counseling because you don't want this to mess up your life and your relationships becuase of what that sick man did to you. Is there anyone in your family that you trust?
2007-10-04 06:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The reason for your dismissal is none of your stepmother's business. She should know that a person can be dismissed from a jury for any number of reasons.
Maybe one of the attorneys was looking for a certain "type" that you didn't fit. Once I was dismissed because by the time they got to me on the list, the jury was already picked and they sent the rest of us home. Another time I was dismissed and they never gave me a reason. I suspect that it may have been because they didn't like what I was wearing. At the time I was working at a local news medium and I was wearing a denim shirt with their logo on it.
What you tell your stepmother is up to you. If you really want to share your ordeal with her, this may be the perfect opportunity.
Sounds like all this has opened up an old wound. The others on here are right. But how you live your life is up to you to deal with. Good luck to you.
2007-10-04 07:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by Dippy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was molested by my grandmother's brother from the time I was 8 or 9 until I was about 12. Today I am 58 and this sexual abuse still bothers me. I have a wonderful significant other who has held me and let me cry--and then explained to me that it wasn't my fault. I know he's right but the guilt I carried for so long still remains. No matter whether they believe you or not, you should speak up. What if this man is abusing other of your relatives even now? When I had my daughter back in 1968 I knew that I would not let her go to my grandmother's house as long as my great-uncle was alive. Thankfully, he died when my daughter was 2!!! Good riddance. Tell and expunge those guilt feelings--see a psychologist who understands and can help you deal with it.
Good luck.
2007-10-04 06:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times, people are in denial about certain "family secrets". I would definitely talk with both your stepmother and father. You cannot heal the pain without a support system. By telling your stepmother, that's a start. If you do not feel comfortable doing that, then I would recommend you seeing a therapist. Remember, you are not a lone. There are many people, just like you, who are survivors. You too need to believe that and seek appropriate counseling.
Best of luck to you. My heart really goes out to you.
Larry
2007-10-04 06:39:26 · answer #4 · answered by Larry T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell the stepmother if I were you...but, then again...I am really not sure about what kind of relationship you have with her...it may be just as well that she mind her own business and you don't let her in on it at all.
This is a tough one...
Have you talked with a counselor or a therapist about any of this? If not...go that route first...
As far as giving an excuse as to why you were excused...you could always say you aren't sure why they excused you...just say that they asked you a bunch of questions and you answered them...and maybe they didn't like one or two of your answers....just say you aren't sure as to why...and you didn't ask specifically why anyway....then change the subject...
2007-10-04 06:42:12 · answer #5 · answered by Doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must forgive your uncle for abusing you. This is not for his sake but for your sake. Bitterness eats away at us and it doesn't heal until we forgive the abuser and forgive ourselves. Yes, we carry guilt even though we shouldn't. We always think we did something to cause what happened to us. We must forgive the abuser and we must forgive ourselves. Self-hatred and self-rejection cause many diseases and are the root causes of disease. We cause the body to attack the body with spiritual roots.
You can't make your stepmother or anyone else believe you. Don't try any more. You need to get your life in order. First we need peace with God; second we need peace with others and third we need peace with ourselves. It is Love God, Love others and Love yourself. Until we get here, life is just one great big "crying forever" mess anyway. Start putting God first and put all of that other junk behind you. Makes a wonderful life!!!
2007-10-04 06:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think, more than likely your not this man's only victim. What he did was wrong and he needs to be held accountable for it. You need to tell someone. If you tell your stepmother be very matter of fact about it. I know your hurt by this but she will be more able to take it in and take you seriously if theres less drama. Remember YOU will not ruin the relationship, this is not YOUR fault. Continue to heal and be brave. :)
2007-10-04 06:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by care bear Steph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its affecting your life you need to talk about it tell someone dont worry about what your stepmother thinks it happened to you not her.Your uncle might still be doing this to others too and needs to be stopped,
2007-10-04 06:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by kansas43us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk about. Your uncle violated you and you will never be free until he is put away for that horrific crime. Tell your step mother and hopefully she will go to the police. One thing I notice is even after 25-50 year, pedophiles can still be put in prison for a crime they did many decades earlier.
2007-10-04 06:32:03 · answer #9 · answered by TinTin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-21 00:58:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋