I am in the midst of a custody case with my ex over our two year old daughter, I am looking for some help with what is going on, I have held a steady job for the last few years making three times as much money as my ex, renting a two bedroom apartment for myself and our daughter, have been the one paying for insurance, and all other bills and am paying child support under temporary orders as of now, have never had trouble taking care of our daughter; changing diapers, feeding , putting to bed etc. ex has not been able to ever take care of herself having to live with other people to get by and have a place to live, they are now staying with a family member of hers living together in the same room still sleeping in the same bed, they are paying all of her bills, etc. she has shown no ability to be a responsible adult, relies on others to take care of our child and is putting things into our daughters head to make her scared of me, slandering my name saying I beat them, can I do anything?
2007-10-04 05:27:15 · 10 answers · asked by JC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
May I presume by your statement of "temporary orders" that you have a pending custody court date? If not, then the first thing you must do is retain an attorney who is aggressive and ready to fight for your rights, and have that attorney set a court date as soon as possible. You also may have to pay for a private investigator to confirm your claims that your ex is irresponsible, but again that's up to your attorney.
If you're serious about getting custody, find an attorney TODAY...do not delay.
2007-10-04 05:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sure that you keep documentation on "YOUR" efforts in the relationship between you and your child. If you present a case that targets the reasons your ex should "not" have primary custody, the judge will frown on it. You must present why you "should" have custody, make an effort to try to document the positive things about the mom, but be sure to impress upon the fact that your daughter would benefit from her mother having consistent visitation. She is likely souring people of you because she knows she isn't the ideal parent and fear makes us react in some pretty negative ways. Her method of trying to keep your daughter at arms length from you only stands to hurt her in all aspects, including your daughter growing angry with her for always saying bad things about daddy. Get some council, take in some documentation, keep it positive so the judge does not automatically assume that the child is a pawn in a game of who is going to be the winner. Good luck, I hope your daughter gets the benefit of your warmth.
2007-10-04 12:44:11 · answer #2 · answered by inkinheaven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get it through your head that money and ability to provide upgraded living facilities is not all that counts in the custody of children. In defining custody the court takes into consideration what is best for the ENTIRE child not just the child's financial needs. You could live in a 100 room mansion and have money coming out your butt hole but if the child is not in an EMOTIONALLY stable environment then the child isn't going to be happy and well adjusted. Obviously the court has determined your wife to be the better parent to provide for your child's other needs besides simply finanical. Bragging about what you can provide financially isn't getting you anywhere. You HAVE to be able to prove that she is an unfit mother and you HAVE to show substantial proof, not just lip service. TELLING the court she is unfit isn't showing proof.
2007-10-04 13:59:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should document all this. Using it you should try to get you ex not fit to be a mother which will automatically win your case.
You should file a defamtion of character lawsuit against the one who is talking about you. A good lawer would probably be able to get those statements off the record so they are not counted towards the custody battle.
Anyway, I am not a lawer. You need to talk to a lawer as they may have more ideas how to deal with it.
I am sorry for what is happening to you.
Good Luck.
2007-10-04 12:33:17 · answer #4 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex sounds like a peice of work. She isn't capable of raising a child let alone having her. What judge gave those orders? I just hope it wasn't a woman. Anyway ANY jugde in their right mind will see that but the two of you are just confusing this little girl which may cause her to have some problems in the future for now JC don your part and in do time everything will work itself out. You sound like a great man and a great father. You'll be fine.
Just have faith and pray...GOD hears everything.
-Ms.Bossy-
2007-10-04 12:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by Ms.Bossy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First get a good attorney. Second, call child protective services. Tell them you do not believe that her living enviorment is stable (ie: they move all the time).
Good Luck! (stay away from woman for a while, focus on your daughter)
2007-10-04 12:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with a good lawyer. Then document, get witnesses, etc, establish everything you have said about her. Do what the lawyer says and go to court to get custody.
2007-10-04 12:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by chessale 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can get a good family law attorney.
And if you have witnesses all the better.
But please, if you do get custody of your daughter don't completely remove her from her mother's life. Your ex is still the child's mother, and she loves you both.
Consider the child's feelings and emotions in this too.
take care.
2007-10-04 12:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah
get a lawyer!
sounds like the best intrest of the child has be disregarded!
do what is right for her..she needs a stable childhood
2007-10-04 12:33:15 · answer #9 · answered by Mindy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. Get a lawyer now!
2007-10-04 12:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by LB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋