"I'm the Girl"
I'm the girl
by myself in the corner
lost in my mind
full of daydreams and wonder
Im the girl
with my head held down
expression stony, sad, angry
with the usual frown
Im the girl
who has no name
doesnt have many friends
and will never gain highschool fame
At least thats what you think
when you look at me
thinking you know
but you cant really see
Im the girl
who doesnt want to be you
I couldnt care less what you think
you dont have a clue
Im the girl
who just wants to be me
dont need your input
nor your sympathy
Im the girl
who you cant see
cause your too caught up in yourself
to see that I'm ME.
2007-10-04 04:19:42 · 13 answers · asked by I think I'm Dumb ~Amy~ 7 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
a girl that does not belong in the grey masses... nice theme... we should reflect on this... it's a lovely poem, it's an honest expression of who you are - continue to be proud of yourself
2007-10-04 05:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad at all, actual you did a quite good job of keeping it together. As for the "ME" issue, you used caps to put the emphasis on that word, a practice that I see no problem with, since you are making sure the other doesn't confuse the issue. Leave it in, it fits. It's ok for you to be ME and not just me. You are special, you are unique, nobody else can be ME to you, so do it.
2007-10-04 05:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not unavoidably ought to rhyme even though it desires to hit my thoughts. i think of clarity of expression is important besides. i do no longer prefer to 2d wager what i'm analyzing approximately. I continually seem for what I term "poetic gem stones"in the text cloth.
2016-10-10 07:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a nice try but it is not deep it's just your routine thoughts in a rime . You have to think farther try to identify your deepest feelings and then express them on the paper. You also need to work on your vocabulary because it's low leveled. Keep on writing I'm sure you can do better good luck!
2007-10-04 07:27:54 · answer #4 · answered by Rosa_Louxenburg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it! It deflicts what I was like in highschool until my junior year...and it deflicts what most girls who think they don't belong but are just being themselves. High school is the most crucial part of a girl and guys life because that is when they are changing and becoming who they really are! When they are finding themselves and finally and eventually will find out who they are. It's very crucial! Keep it up!
2007-10-04 05:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by Simply Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its great it tells a story, and rhymes and every line has just the right amount of syllables. its short and sweet, it doesn't drag on. A delight to read well done!
2007-10-04 05:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by ambience212 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite good. I do agree with the non-capitalized "me" though. You took an overused cliche concept and made it sound good. Few people can do that well.
2007-10-04 04:59:44 · answer #7 · answered by herfinator 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's awesome! Kinda reminds me of myself.
2007-10-04 06:22:21 · answer #8 · answered by RZ (LPPBS) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
beuatiful and functional
but do you need
the capital letters on the last "me"?
or is it that the words themsleves
dont work hard enough
anymore
2007-10-04 04:28:39 · answer #9 · answered by wha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is an awesome poem!
2007-10-04 04:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by Edith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋