about my 9 month old son?

Question

i recently asked a question about my 9 month old son and him crying all the time and such and alot of people where telling me he has seperation anxiety and that i need to start seperating him from me but its easy for someone to do so when they have money to put there child in daycare which right now i dont ( i work from home) and have family/friends that could watch him both my parents are dead all 4 grandparents aye dead my uncle and aunt live in another state and my brother works 80 hrs a week he doesnt have time to watch my son for me for a few minutes and as far as my friends goes i have a few but they all have lives and work alot also so im basically alone on this one so for people to say that i need to do the things like daycare and such i ask how? and if u will pay for my daycare then i will.

and his father passed away 3 months ago

Answer 1

I did not see, or answer, your original question, so I cannot address why others would suggest separation anxiety.

From the sounds of it, your little guy cries alot. Also sounds like you have the full responsibility of caring for him even though you work from home. Is your son's crying making you concerned or anxious or stressed? All of the above?

I don't know the reason your son cries so much. He could be teething, he could have gas, he could have an ear infection, he could be stressed because he senses you are stressed.

Have you taken him to a pediatrician for a checkup to see if there is a physical reason for his crying? Does your partner take over caring for the child for a while so you can take a break?

To address your question about day care, you have a few options. Many states offer assistance to help with the cost of daycare and many churches offer "Mommy's Day Out". You can check into these in your area, and hopefully they will offer you what sounds like a much needed break.

Hang in there! Your son won't be an infant forever. In 20 years, these stressful times will seem like a blur, and it will feel as though you blinked and he suddenly grew up.

Answer 2

I didn't read your first post, but I have a good idea for you. Look for a church that has a mother's day out program. It will usually be one day a week for a few hours. The cost is usually minimal, and given your circumstances they might even waive any fee. If you belong to a church, this would be a good time to send the baby to the nursery while you are at the service. It won't cost you anything and it will give him an hour or so once a week. Day care can be a good way for children to socialize, but at 9 months old it isn't necessary. If you have friends who have kids, then maybe you could take turns watching each others kids for an hour or two once a week. And try not too worry. At 9 months most kids will cry and fuss when their mom walks out of the room. It is normal and they grow out of it. I can remember when I felt like I couldn't even go to the bathroom if I was the only one home. And even when my husband was home, both of my kids still fussed at that age when I left the room.

Answer 3

It may not be separation anxiety, maybe it's gas. The more food that you introduce to a 9mth old, the more their belly could ache. He's most likely eating cereal, fruits, and veges, right? He could have an upset stomach. Have you ever tried gas drops?
Also, fussy babies need to be on tight schedules. At 9mths, he should still be napping twice a day (NOah naps at 10:30 and 3:30). He should be sleeping through the night anywhere from 8-12hrs. Is he sleeping enough, maybe he is tired?
Do you let him play alone? Put him in his playpen while you take a shower. Give him a few toys. Put him in his playpen while you cook dinner. He needs to learn to play alone.
Children grow out of separation anxiety. I would not be too concerned. Just try to make him enjoy his surroundings. When you go out, talk to the grocery store people, talk to the cashiers, talk to everyone. Your son will get used to you saying hi and goodbye to people and this will be good for him.

Answer 4

Well, speaking personally I don't agree with putting small children in to daycare. Some people have children and barely see them as they are always in daycare so they only get time with their parents for dinner and then bed. I believe that children should be with their parents when they are small, not palmed off on to some child minder or nursery. Your kids are yours to raise not someone elses. If I were you I would take no notice of this seperation anxiety nonsense, why would a 9 month old baby be wanting to be away from its parent?? All kids go through seperation anxiety and forcing him to be away from you isn't going to help. I have 2 kids and have looked after them myself every day until they started pre school at 3. They are happy confident children and I have never had any problems getting them to go to pre school or school (no tears or tantrums) and I believe that was mainly down to the fact that we had a strong bond and they knew I would be there to collect them after. Also why waste good money getting someone else to do a job that you are more than capable of doing yourself, you could be spending that money on your child, taking them out and doing stuff with them. Some people think its ok to just have kids and pay someone else to raise them. Your son is probably going through a stage which will pass in time, you are there for him and that is the best you can do for him, take no notice of those people telling you to palm him off on someone else.

Answer 5

Gosh, what's with people wanting to force independence on children? Seperation anxiety is completely normal, and you shouldn't have to do anything different because of it. You don't need to push a child away to let them know you'll come back - just make sure he knows you love him. Give him cuddles and attention, and if you leave his sight explain to him where you're going and that you'll be right back. Aside from that, don't worry about it - he will get over it on his own.

I'm with my son 24/7 and he's gotten very good about seperation, though he still doesn't like it. Daycare is absolutely unnecessary - oddly enough, 'babying' a child can help him/her gain independence much better than pushing them away before they're ready.

Answer 6

*lol* Don't listen to them, there is NO evidence that periods of forced separation make separation anxiety improve any faster. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental phase (though admittedly not all children go through it, just not like all children crawl).

Answer 7

I saw your original post, and you didn't give out any of the above information. I didn't post an answer, and now I'm glad. Sorry your life is so bad, but why come here and take it out on people trying to help you? They didn't know.

Answer 8

I agree...there is no need to separate yourself from your baby. This is a stage that most all babies go through and he is going to go in and out of this stage regardless of what you do. Right now, your baby needs your love and to feel close to you, so there is no need to separate yourself from him unless you need to. I know it can be frustrating at times, so hang in there!

Answer 9

You work at home? doing what? If its something anyone can do and its legitimate please e-mail me and let me know [e-mail] I want so badly to work from home and be with my baby girl