What do you do when .....?

Question

What do you do when you find out that someone you have loved and trusted and treated as a "close" friend" for YEARS, has been talking chit about you the whole time you "thought" you were friends? This person is a family member. Someone I see on a regular basis.

Something like this happened before with the same person and she said that the person who told me was lieing. But I know she talks about this "other" person as well. She has with me. I fessed up to this other person and now we're finding out that what she's saying to one about the other she's saying about the other to the one. you know? She's said some pretty hurtful things. And she's the kind of person that has ALWAYS got to feel superior to everyone else, though she's not.

Answer 1

I'd avoid them on a regular basis.

Answer 2

Unfortunately this happens to basically everyone at one time or another. I think the best thing you can do is still be her friend but maybe not trust her as much and distance yourself from her. You don't need someone negative in your life because being around negative people can turn you into a negative person. You should also maybe confront her about it and ask her politely but firmly to stop. If she doesn't, I suggest you only be around her and talk to her when it's necessary.

Answer 3

Call them on the carpet about it in front of your other family members and take the opportunity to set the record straight when you do.

By calling them out in front of everyone, you are holding the cards. This person could get really defensive (often a sign of guilt) or this person could come clean. Of course, he could fall mute (often times a sign of guilt) or try to talk his way out of it. But you know the truth and need to put him on the spot.

Is there anyone in your family who has told you what he's been saying? If so, make sure that person is present for the questioning as your back-up.

When you talk to this person, make sure you are in control of your emotions and tone of voice. You don't want to lose control. Let this jerk lose it and look like the fool and coward he is.

Good luck.

Answer 4

gather your dignity and act like a lady.

you can't control what others do or say... and now you know this person isnt trustworthy. treat them as you'd wish to be treated, but certainly don't have to be a "close friend" anymore.

if they ask why, then tell them.. otherwise, just let it go.

take care of YOU.

Answer 5

i would confront the person, let them know you know all about it, then give 'em cold, hard stares everytime i see them or mostly ignore them. i hold grudges and i refuse to ignore a situation. if i don't like a person, i will not be hypocritical about it and i lay it all out on the table.

Answer 6

If you know for sure that they are doing this ,confront them ,let them know you are aware of what they are doing ,you know you can't trust them ,so don't give them anything to talk about
in other words distant your self a little.

Answer 7

I stop talking to her and ill be really mean to her..she'll realise she had just lost a friend bcuz of her big mouth.

Answer 8

Speak to them about it, and tell them that if they continue acting this way that you will have to resort to cutting them out of your life.
If they choose to continue to act this way and you see them at family events just pretend they don't exist.

Answer 9

just happend to me let me know when u find out what to do

Answer 10

just ignore them.