this question is about a 13 year old's request?

Question

My 13 year old daughter who lives with my divorced wife wants to move in with me because she and her mother do not get along. My ex-wife is the custodial parent and I pay child support for my daughter. I have heard that if my daughter were at 14 years of age, I could go to some kind of couthouse and a judge will ask the 14 year old where she would rather be. with her mother or her father. does anyone know anything about this? My daughter is very unhappy with her mother and I want to help her. I live alone and am not attached to anyone. I can provide for her without any problems. I am retired and can be at home for her at all times. I just want to help make my daughter happy. I love her very much and would love to have her live with me. What can I do? Do I need to speak to an attorney? If so what kind of attorney? If you know what I need to do please help me with this issue. Thank you very much

Loving Dad

Answer 1

Yes u can petition the court for change of residential custody.. and just because of her age doesnt necessarily mean that the judge will take her oppinion into account.. but at times they do.

Butttttttttttttttttttttt.. i want u to remember something.. ur daughter is 13 years of age, she is going through alot of changes physically and emotionally, and ALL teenagers fight for independence .. your daughter is fighting with her mom cause shes more then likely not wanting to go by her mothers rules and because she thinks her mom is being "mean" because mom wont bend.. where "daddy" will.. or atleast she thinks he will.. This is typical behavior of a teenager, the i cant get what i want from mom, so let me try it with dad.. and then when u piss her off and she cant get her way she'll do the same to u.. Dad is so mean, mom i want to move back in with u.. etc.. and if your x wife can prove that her behavior is only because she doesnt want to go by house rules and not so much that she's being neglected, the judge is going to side with ur x wife, my suggestion to you is to actually find out why they are fighting which means communicating both with ur daughter and your x wife, because well another thing teenagers like to do , is put their own spin on things or tell half truths or even lie.. and ur "angel" is no different then the typical teenager .. and i think ur in for alot of trouble if you cant back up your x if it comes down to rules of house hold rather then enabling ur child to "get her way" all the time.. Seriously, if u and her mom were still together more then likely u would make her have to go by household rules that u and her mother have set and u wouldnt waiver, but because ur no longer in the house, and im sure your "good time dad", you dont see how important it is to back each other up as parents..

I realize u love ur daughter, and u want to be with her, but at the same time u have to think of her best interests as well.. and letting her run away from her problems when things get tuff only teaches her as an adult to do the same things. Life isnt a picnic.. there are rules/laws u have to follow, there are responsibilities, etc.. and if u make it easy for ur child to just walk away from her mother because it will make her life easier, ur not teaching her anything but how to take the easy way out and how to manipulate a situation to get her way..

Tread carefully dad.. and start really thinking about whats really going on here..

and if u get an attorney u want a family law attorney.. but i think with out sitting down and having a heart to heart with your x about whats really going on, i think you could be making a huge mistake..

Answer 2

Hello, well I can tell you my experience. I am from michigan and when I was 13 I wanted to move in with my dad. He set up an appointment at friend of the court (i dont know all of the details of how to make the appointment, you should speak to an attorney), and I went there and spoke to a woman, and she asked me who I wanted to live with and why. After a few court dates, I ended up moving in with my dad and the judge basically followed what I wanted since I was old enough at the time. I think it is a good thing that right now you live alone and can dedicate your time to your daughter. When I moved in with my dad, he had a new wife and her two kids. It was very difficult, to say the least, for all of us to mesh. If I were you, I would definately speak to an attorney. They will know what steps to take. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Speak with a family law attorney. You don't have to have an attorney, but it definitely makes it a lot easier on you if you do. Different states have different regulations. In Ohio, a child has to be 18 before they can actually choose where they want to be. It is up to the courts to determine where they feel is the best place for the child. That said, by the time a child is 13, they will usually go with what the child wants, unless the noncustodial parent is unfit.

Answer 4

You can speak with a family law attorney.

Yes, it's true, a judge will ask a child where he or she would like to live... Most states provide that a child must be at least 12... you'd have to check on the law in your own state.

I think that, if you are going to take responsibility for your daughter, you might consider having a talk with her...You know that people do have disagreements, and sometimes you are going to have to say "NO" when she asks for things. You might let her know she's very welcome to live with you and she is still going to have rules.. (she needs them, anyway). Tell your daughter that, if she moves in with you and if she has a moment where she is upset because you say "no" or because of your rules, she just can't move back and forth. Kids need to understand this.

Change of custody can be a costly process...

Answer 5

In GA the child has to be 14 (I think... it was when I was 14). But let me tell you... if a kid that age doesn't want to be with you and would rather be with the other parent (as long as the other parent is able to care for the child) then don't force the 13 year old to live with you. My mom tried that and I was so resentful and moved back to my Dad's house the day I turned 14. It really hurt our relationship and I certainly wouldn't recommend it.

Answer 6

I know in Texas you can get a family attorney and get him to file a modification of court orders. Also, in Texas the child only has to be ,I believe 12 years old to decide who they want to live with. But yes any judge should take into interest what a child tells him at the age of your daughter. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

I'm not sure that there is a specific age - it could vary based on the maturity of the child involved. Do you have a civil enough relationship with your ex-wife to discuss this and make amicable arrangements? If you do, you can change your custody/support agreement w/ out a lawyer (my husband did this with his ex.) If this isn't something you can settle between yourselves, then you definitely should get an attorney (one who specializes in family law).

Your daughter needs to be aware that if your ex contests this, she could have to sit in front of a judge, her mom and you and specifically say she does NOT want to be with her mom. That could be hard for her.

Answer 8

You are correct regarding the age of 14. It will be her decision at that age. In the meantime, I think it is wise to sit down with her and find out exactly what it is the two of them are arguing about. I was 13 when I wanted to live with my dad. I basically just wanted to run away from my problems and not all of them had to do with my mom. I kind of viewed it as a fairy tale. It may be that her mom is just being a mom and teenagers don't really like that, but it is important. Is she upset because she has to be in bed by a certain time and clean her room? Look deeply into this to determine if the same problems she has now will follow her to your home because they are just part of life. However, if they run deeper than that, and they are problems that are causing her unnecessary trauma, you would be wise to remove her from that situation.

Answer 9

I just went throuh what your going through my husband has a 14 yr old son who wanted to live with us the legal age for a child is 12 in north carolina so you might wanna check with a family court lawyer and the judge will talk with the child and she'll be able to make her mind up the judge will prob talk to you and the mother seperate of course but the judge will go with the child unless he/she feels like the child is playing one another well good luck!!!

Answer 10

Well I have a VERY similar story. I am 13, too and went through practically the same exact thing. When your daughter turned 12 she had legal rights to take her mother to court. So when she turned 12 you can go to court with her in front of a judge and fight for who she will live with.