He really loves me?

Question

When we got in a heated argument he started saying how I am ugly, I look like a pimple face, skinny crackhead. He said that he can pull off any haircut (referring that he looks good) and I cannot. He said that people have told him he is “prettier” then me even though he’s the guy. He said I am scraggly. And the crazy part is-I do have low-esteem but I know I am not that bad. Everyone else around me says the exact opposite of what he said then. I DID say things to him back b/c I was hurt. Afterward when we are no longer mad, he will say he didn’t mean those things-he just wanted to get to me. But if this is the case-why does he say these same things about me every time he is mad??? I don’t get it.

He has told me no other guy will treat me and love me like he does. He says they will all play me and use me b/c I already have two kids with him

Answer 1

Sounds like HE is the one with a low self-esteem. The lowest one anyone can ever imagine. He is very immature too/. Just laugh him off.

Answer 2

He is a classic case insecure abuser. He has to break you down so that you will never leave him. He wants you to feel like you can never find anyone else, he is the best you can do so you better just stay put. Because if you leave you will be alone and sad while he moves on, however, that is not the case. Any man who doesn't have enough respect for you to treat you as an equal is not worth your time, you are too good for HIM. I say you do what you can to get away from that guy. Otherwise every time you fight he will break you down and then later apologize, its a vicious circle.

Answer 3

I think a lot of times during heated arguments we all say things we don't mean and feel badly for them later, but if he keeps saying the same things to you every time you fight, well then, kinda makes one think he really does mean it. What he all said to you is very hurtful. Maybe next time he says those things, instead of saying stuff back to him just to get at him, why not say some things that will make him think. Like, why did you marry me then if I'm so hideous and why are you still with me then if I'm that discusting to you? The next time he wants sex, don't give it to him and tell him, he has made it so you don't feel very good about your looks, so your insecure about wanting to be with him sexually. That should get him thinking, then he will realize that he is causing damage and he better start complimenting you instead. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think he honestly means the opposite but doesn't want to admitt the fact that u can do better. He's telling u all these things to keep ur self esteem down cuz that way in his lil pea brain he thinks he's got u right where he wants u and he won't have to worry about u finding someone else cuz he put in ur head ur not pretty enough to.

And in all honesty if they say it enough we do start to believe it cuz we don't know no better. I don't personally think he doesn't love u but can be scared that u will find someone else and he doesn't know how to prevent that from happening so this is his way of doing it

Answer 5

"Pretty Kitty" and "Kristie" gave you the answer.........he will verbally abuse you as to keep your self esteem a big fat ZERO so you will NEVER think you deserve, or can get, better.

Either he gets help, or YOU get out.....no women or man for that reason, deserves that.

Do you want your children to hear and see this???? Think woman, think!

EDIT- I also wanted to add after reading some of these answers here, yes, we all say things we do not really mean when we are angry, but your husband is still WAY OUT OF LINE....heck, I have been with some real azzholes in my life but I have NEVER had the types of horrible things your guy says to me...and believe me, I have known some REAL CLASS "A" AZZHOLES! The worst was the bodybuilder on steriods.....you don't know evil until you have been with eitehr a drug addict, or a roid rage azzhole!!!!

Answer 6

Well first of all alot of the things people say when angry or when joking they really mean it is just they can say it, and when is it over they say i was just kidding or in your case i was just mad. Even if he was mad there is know reason to except that abuse from him if he hit you because he was mad would that be ok ( don't think so) so stand up for your beautiful self, and tell him next time is the last time.

Answer 7

He wants you to THINK that you can't get anyone better than him. That way you won't even think about leaving, because he has knocked your self-esteem down SO LOW, that you actually start to think that he does love you and that if it wasn't for him you would be all alone with no one. Its called mental abuse, I've been there, and if you were smart you would open your eyes and see that he doesn't really love you, because any REAL MAN would never try to make you feel bad about yourself, and you should get out of there!

Answer 8

You two should talk and set some "rules" for heated arguments. There are things we say for the only purpose to hurt during an argument and sometimes they are never forgotten, try to avoid using them and make him do the same.

Answer 9

Awww, he must have a problem with the way you look, we sometimes say things that we might think but are afraid to say them until we are angry and we take them back to save face or to spare someones feelings. I think you guys should try to be honest with each other and get everything out in the open. NO one wants their spouse to think they are unattractive and if he feels that way then it will keep coming up.

Answer 10

Why do you keep posting the same thing over and over? If you won't change your abusive situation with our advice then there is nothing else to do. Do want us to tell you its ok or normal? Its not...People who keep apologizing for the same thing over and over again aren't really sorry about what they do to you. People who are truly sorry, go out of their way to never hurt the person they love again.