keep on falling in love with him and devote myself to him knowing that he did all these all awful things ?
1. He was with 500 sex sex slaves when he lived in Russia.
2. He seduced 2000 other young college women, approximately 4 a week.
3. He fought other men just for the fun of it, one time he even hit a man in the head with a sledgehammer.
4. He went to many, many strip clubs, porn and still talks about women in a suggestive manner.
How do I deal with his past ? How do I quit thinking about it ? Now he is born again, he is devoted to me, but the sex slavery part really bothers me because those women in eastern Russia didn't have a choice...........I know he also has a hard time dealing with what he did.
2007-10-04 02:19:59 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
(sociopathy )
2007-10-04 02:21:35 · update #1
It happened over a 16 yr period.
2007-10-04 02:24:25 · update #2
He just said prostitutes, I didn't find out they were sex slaves until after we were married when I researched it.
2007-10-04 02:26:16 · update #3
russian sex slaves, were really bad twelve yrs ago.
2007-10-04 02:28:29 · update #4
Jennifer, Thanx for your advice, if I weren't in my particular circumstance, I KNOW I would not have married him. I know your advice was from God. Do you have any other advice ?
2007-10-04 03:01:01 · update #5
This is way too much for any human being to handle, and I find it hard to believe that your husband has recovered from any of it. That being said, go to counseling, go to God, go to the Bible, but always sleep with one eye open. Once a violent, sadistic, perverted sociopath, always a violent, sadistic, perverted sociopath, in my opinion and in the opinion of the medical community. If he's not insane now, the memories of what he's done could make him that way again.
From a psychological standpoint, there is no recovery from sociopathy, and your husband could very well be manipulating you and making you think he's a Christian because there is something for him to gain out of it eventually. Read "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout, Ph.D., a Harvard psychiatrist, and then get a divorce is my advice to you. And I'm a Christian, by the way. But I don't think being a Christian means you have to be unwise, gullible and a doormat.
2007-10-04 02:36:43 · answer #1 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't have posted this question here. The mockers and the scoffers here have no idea what being born again is apart from the fake religious stuff they've seen on TV, and you've made yourself an object of ridicule for them. They'll never understand the miracle that takes place when the God of this universe makes you his own, unless it happens to them. If your husband is truly born again, then he is forgiven. His sins are removed from him as far as the East is from the West, they are buried in the depths of the deepest sea, and God will remember them no more. The problem is that you're not God, and you are not able to forget the things your husband told you. You have to keep reminding yourself that if God let your husband off the hook, then you should too. Your husband was being obedient to his sinful nature --- that's what sinners do. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven any more than you do, nor any less. All of us deserve to go to the same Hell that he was headed for, but some of us have received mercy. Stay in God's word and remind yourself of these things.
2007-10-04 02:59:15 · answer #2 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you married this man, I have to wonder why you would ask this now, after the commitment is made. Unless you found out about his past after you married him I hardly think this the time to be concerned with it. If you fell in love knowing that he has not always lived with much decency then my question stands on that.
You can't quit thinking about it. You don;t say how long you have been married but if your time with him is short, then I think it's safe to think that time will help. As he shows you more of the man he is today, the man of his past should fade. As long as it is the pAST, I would think that it can'r influence you forever.
Good luck. It's quite a lot to deal with and I'm not even sure that I believe it, but if you do I guess that's what matters. I suspect all that you can really do is hope that time covers it up.
2007-10-04 03:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We don't have "sex slaves" in Russia. Don't you know that Russian women are known for beating the crap out of their husbands??? If he is suffering from "sociopathy" (even though it sounds more like an idiotism to me, based on what you have described), then your disorder sounds very much like basic moronism/
In other words, how dumb can you get? hehe
2007-10-04 02:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by OC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you know this b4 you were married & you married him anyway? He really needs therapy. You might need to go as a couple in addition to his own therapy.
Is he good to you? Does he make you feel like you're the only person he wants & the others didn't have his heart?
You need to examine the relationship, determine if you're getting what you want & if he'll give you what you need & want forever. If you're active in your church your fellow clergy members probably won't fault you if you need to leave him. Especially if he didn't come out w/ all this til after you were married..
2007-10-04 02:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by Needs the Cash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're into that kind of thing lady. That's just what you get off on. You have a form of the same sickness your husband does, that is why you guys are still together.
It takes all types of sickos to make tis world go round. ;-)
2007-10-04 02:28:40 · answer #6 · answered by bettercockster3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you are with this man why? Don't let his facade fool you. It is impossible for him to be born again, because Jesus is the first born of the resurrection. Better decide if you want to continue living with a monster.
2007-10-04 02:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You found these things out, when? If you discovered these things after you were married and you can't be at peace with this, then remove yourself from the relationship. If you knew all this beforehand, then why is it suddenly a problem now?
2007-10-04 02:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by bigorangefan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
An important question is:
Do you trust him?
Is he willing to go with you to couple's counseling?
I think you need that 3rd party mediation that a counselor could provide.
2007-10-04 02:57:19 · answer #9 · answered by Yam King 7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, now he's "born again"? Oh that makes everything all better doesn't it now? I'm sure all thosw women would forgive him now, knowing that he has conveniently found Jesus! Give me a break. Why on earth woudl you even speak to someone like that? The guy deserves to be in a hole somewhere.
2007-10-04 02:23:40 · answer #10 · answered by JeffyB 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋