I have been in love with a woman for 20 years. Yet in mid life I am finding it difficult to love her any longer. Has anyone been out of love and yet been able to re-kindkle things or is it just too late?
2007-10-04 01:18:27 · 10 answers · asked by mystery639066 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People fall out of love when they stop trying. I say it's never too late. Get back in there and wine and dine her and do something to spice things up again. Sounds like a surprise weekend getaway may just get the ball rolling. Spend more time together. Go out of your way to plan things you can do together that will draw the two of you closer.
2007-10-04 01:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by ursobustedmr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you really 'out of love' with her or is it that you wish more excitement from your relationship? Many people, after so many years, get into a predictible life and forget about thanking each other, appreciating each other and doing all the little things that you once did to show your love. Kind of taking each others love for granted. Try first to talk to her about your feelings as she may be having some of the same and doesn't know how to discuss it with you.
And yes, it can be rekindled. Sometimes we allow lifes routine to get in the way of what is really important to each of us. Bet if you made the first effort by sending her little notes or flowers for no reason or just calling to say hello; she would respond two fold. And yes, after 20 years many people go through this. It is the mid-life crisis hitting and it hits hard. Find the woman you once knew and married; she is still hiding there deep inside and wanting to show herself to you.
2007-10-04 01:26:42 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is completely normal. You are forgetting something pretty important.
Love is a choice.
Every day I wake up and choose to love my husband. Some days it isn't easy and some days it is great. I will always have love in my heart for him but at the same time it is real work to remind myself to let him know, show affection, tell him when I need a night out or a break or ask him what he needs.
We recognize that we are lucky to have each other and that the best thing we can do for ourselves and each other is be honest and keep ourselves and each other happy.
Tell her you feel like you are in a rut and would like to do something different together and find something local and different than what you normally do and do it. I dragged my husband to a fair last weekend, he complained the whole ride there and after a while he got into it. I showed him a new way to look at the experience. I try to drag him to something new twice a year and guess what he always says, "I never would have gone to that".
Your relationship deserves a chance, it isn't easy out there alone.
2007-10-04 01:28:39 · answer #3 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not too late, it is possible. I have been in a similar situation. With time, and realizing that you've been together for so long has to mean something. You might be able to love again in another way. An appreciating, can't picture my life with out you way perhaps.
2007-10-04 02:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by Christa D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been through that situation too.. i had a boyfriend for 2 years but then after that i started to have lost my feelings for him.. so i broke up with him.. then i started dating again.. after a year, i can't seem to get him off my mind.. and it seems that he also felt the same, so he started calling and texting me again.. so we both ended up with each other after 2years..
maybe there really is a time in a relationship wherein one feels like the flame has gone out.. but i think it's just a phase.. you'll get over it after a while.. and realize that you can't live without the other..
2007-10-04 01:29:29 · answer #5 · answered by ღஐ Lacey ஐღ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think for me if my ex husband had not been addicted to porn I think he and I might have been able work on our marriage! It was not the case. I have been told its common for couples to grow apart. It happened to my parents! They did "re-kindle their marriage! On Oct 7th they will be married 40 years!
They found a great group called "MARRIAGE ENCOUNTERS". It used to be run thru the Catholic church, My parents are not Catholic! They though use as a family how to communicate and enjoy the time we have together! It was almost 20 years ago they did this! It's NEVER to late to fall deeper in love with her!
My parents are just two married people... they are best friends! You need to find the positive in your life with her, your wife. I wished my first marriage lasted... my second one is outstanding! He and I are working on 3 years!
2007-10-04 01:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by PSYCHO DAISY MAE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think feelings are constantly changing. This doesn't mean you aren't in love anymore, maybe its just a phase you are going through....give it some time, spice it up a little or take a romantic getaway with her.....Maybe some sparks will fly and you will see why you loved her in the beginning. Good Luck, hope it works out for both of you :)
2007-10-04 01:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by loquita.bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that a long time love for someone.
not yet if tou ask me
2007-10-04 01:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by champs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thrill is gone and it ain't coming back.
2007-10-04 01:50:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
go back to where you were with her, hang on to what you have, dont let it go
2007-10-04 03:30:39 · answer #10 · answered by arizonaprincess2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋