Which is harder to get past, the abuses of most men or the abuses of most women?

Question

I'm not referring to extremes here, I'm talking about incidence. Do men or women have a higher incidence of having a messed-up romantic relationship be hard to get over because of what the other person did during the relationship and/or is doing after the relationship?

Other than the extreme situations with men, which are relatively rare, I think the bad things women do during and after a relationship are harder to get over.

Answer 1

neither.

mess up usually takes two to end.

it depends on how tough and strong the person is and how he/she is courageous to move on when there's not much to hope for.

Answer 2

There is a 3 month limit that I use to determine if a man I date is abusive or an enhancement to my life. Within 3 months I watch his behavior, what type of "friendship" he has with other women and his parents and if he were married before what was he accused of doing to her even though she might have been horrible too. 3 months is all you need to invest in anyone who has attracted your interest. Unfortunately people allow themselves to feel attachment to an on again off again jerk and when that cycle starts, CUT YOUR LOSSES AND HIDE!!! Tell yourself the first 3 months of 'dating' you will minamize your heart from wishful thinking...stay grounded in reality. Pay attention to flags that go up when the other person acts or talks in questionable ways. There are always signs. Learn from past bad experiences and don't be so needy of a "relationship". If you don't like your own company why should they? If a relationship is over, move on, don't look them up if they ended it. They had their chance to make things right. To linger after the final curtain is like picking off scabs, you will bleed. Protect yourself from harm. Also, it helps not to expect abuses in every relationship. Expect to be treated kindly and you are more apt to attract that treatment, and if you don't receive kindness you know what to do.

Answer 3

Having no experience dating women, I can only say that I usually get over the little things done to me by a man in the past as most of the stuff was not earth shattering. Since you are not referring to extremes, I will not mention them. Getting insulted, dumped, ignored, laughed at, that's just bad behavior on any of the sex's part. I managed to laugh and move on.

Answer 4

You might rephrase this question, "Which wounds heal more easily, physical ones or psychological ones?" The incidence-differences aren't absolute, but the characteristic advantages and tendencies are there. Add to this that our age attends to physical and material (economic) wounds a lot more than to psychological wounds-- it's the bias of science, which can only attend to what is quantifiable. Science trumps moral considerations in our society, even with regard to matters where science fails to address human problems. (In pre-modern times, the bias was reversed, with equally bad results at times.)
___The matter we talk about as "psychological damage" is more fittingly dealt with as moral considerations.
___Psychology, which ought to be concerned with morality, is fundamentally unfit to deal with the moral component of the human condition, since it pretends to be a science. But it achieves neither-- to address the "human", or to be scientific.

Answer 5

Women can be pretty good phychological abusers if you give them the power. I think thats how i learnt not to take most things seriously.

Answer 6

it all depends on how strong u are to move on and not live in the past and try to build on the realtionship u have then

Answer 7

I think men & woman can be has bad as each other.

Answer 8

Women are worse when they cheat and back stab

Answer 9

It depends on the person - Not the gender....