I'm talking about my girlfriend. we've been living together for 2 years already. I know she loves me,but still she doesn't trust me. lately she's been telling me some painfull things,when I was seeing my best friend (girl).. I trust her fully, but she doesn't trust me. I don't know if this ever changes.. what's worse I've never ever gave her reason to not trust me..
2007-10-04 00:43:07 · 16 answers · asked by bara_no_seido 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
it's her way of thinking - she should trust NO-ONE, but herself. no-one means that she can't trust me either and it hurts so much. there's nothing more I can do to earn her trust, I've already gave her everything from me I could.. and still...
2007-10-04 00:52:33 · update #1
Thats a tough issue. As others have state, YOU have to decide if she is worth the work that will be involved in developing her trust. Lets face it. Most of us have been hurt in some form or fashion and to varying degrees. It isn't fair that you may have to pay the price for what someone else did to this girl, but the fact is, she DOES have issues with trust. If you really love this girl, I would say to stick it out, and continue to work on these things. You know, relationships take work - on both parts. If you bail on her just because she is slow to trust you, you are actually gonna be making her MIStrust worse. If you just can't tolerate it any longer, and you find that you don't really love her, then bail. It sounds kinda like she desperately WANTS to trust you, but is just having a hard time allowing herself to be vulnerable to you.
Bottom line - have you got it in you to work on this issue?? Is she worth it to you?
Good Luck to you both.
2007-10-04 01:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by Lon E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
⥠Well thats a hard situation... trust comes with time and I know it hurts that it doesnt seem like she trusts you but you are prolly the person she trusts the most [[which is why shes so scared]]. Maybe she trusts you but she doesnt trust other people... even though she may trust you enough to say no if somone tries something theres always that thought in the back of her mind.
⥠Me & my fiance are currently going through the same thing. I have this major trust issue & no matter how hard I try I just cant trust 150%.... theres always that "what if" in the back of my mind. In all my previous relationships I have been cheated on, lied to and gave trust only to have it taken advantage of. Stuff like that takes time to get over. My fiance & I get in little tifts over it sometimes but we always talk it out. You need to sit down with your gf and let her know how you feel. Let her know you understand and offer her support. Show her you love her and the trust will come in time [[even if its already been long enough for you, she still needs more time]]. Good Luck!
2007-10-04 09:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem only she can fix. Do you love her, forsaking all others? If you answered yes, then sit down with her and have a very open and deep conversation with her about where you stand with each other and suggest going to couples counseling. Mistrust is a learned behavior and this poor girl has apparantly been a victim of being hurt or been the person who has hurt someone else. Let her know what this is doing to you and how you feel. I wish you good luck and a happy future.
2007-10-04 07:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes i would keep on living with her but perhaps keep trying to talk t her and find out why she finds it hard to trust. its takes time to build up trust and i know two year you'd think would be enough but everyone i different. i find it hard to trust ppl because i've been hurt so many times and not just in relationships but by friends and family also. if she's been through similar things to me then i beg you to give her the benefit of the doubt and try to help her. if you love her then im sure you can work through this.
ps. try and put yourself in her position. she may not trust you but really wants to. its hard to finally find a time to let your guard down. if it was you all you'd want is reassurance from the one you love
good luck x x
2007-10-04 08:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by gemsi27 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear that. I think it's time for you to get your own apartment and your own space. If your sweetheart can't trust you of anyone, then she can't trust even herself. she may say she does, but she doesn't and eventually it'll break you two apart and cause some incredibly difficult and painful things.
Protect yourself as best you can, Dearest. Good luck and Blessings.
2007-10-04 09:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like paranoid delusions.
Trust, once lost for whatever reason, is difficult to earn back. Just continue the way you are, being honest and true. Eventually she may realize, once again, that you are trustworthy.
2007-10-04 07:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer this but you. Is she worth the work to earn her trust, or is she just a hopeless psycho?
You have to make the call based on what you know.
2007-10-04 07:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by entropys_advocate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may be that your girl friend is by nature of suspicious character. it is not an issue. u should earn her trust.
2007-10-04 07:47:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!
Why would you keep on living with someone you didn't trust?
2007-10-04 07:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by fooles.troupe 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a face to face discussion about what is bothering you.
2007-10-04 07:45:44 · answer #10 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋