Not Gun-ho about motherhood?

Question

I am a newly married woman and although my husband and I have no immediate plans to have kids, it is something that we are planning in the near future. Although I am not apposed to having kids, I have never been really into the idea. The prospect is more frightening than exciting. I am not sure if I will be a good parrent, or even what makes a good parrent. Still I can see having one in the future. Is this a normal state for a woman to be in while in her mid 20's, or should I be more excited about the matter? If I am not, is that an indication that maybe I should not have kids? Is their anyone out their that was in my particular state of mind before having kids, and if so
did that change after you had kids?

Answer 1

Darlin' this is completely normal. I happened to have kids when I was very young. I now have a teenage daughter and I hope that she waits until she is completely ready for children. Enjoy your young life, we're only young once. Some day when you're ready you'll know it's time. If it never feels like it's time then don't fret. We don't have the need to mass reproduce anymore. You will know what you want and will make you the most happy. Because that is what matters most ..... how happy you are.

Answer 2

Chances are if you do have kids you'll be miserable. I think you should do some web searching on childfree people. I'm sure people are going to tell you you will change once you have a baby. Yeah, the only thing is that they don't tell you that you might hate it even more once you have the baby, but then it will be too late, once you've had the baby there's no turning back. It's an ireversible decision and you're stuck for the rest of your life. It IS normal for someone -even a woman- to not have the desire to have children. Do not let people or worrying about what people might think of you influence your decisions. It's your life. They're not the ones who will be taking care of your kids. There are lots of websites for people who don't want to have kids. Just do some searching.

Answer 3

This is a common frame of mind for some people. This does not mean that you should not have children at all. You are just not use to the idea of being responsible for all that is involved in being a parent. My wife did not like any children when we got married. But after we had one child that all changed. you may only like your child and that is fine. But after about a year you may have a hard time remembering life with out your children. It will all change after the baby is laying in your arms and you are there whole world. But don't worry your feelings are normal.

Answer 4

Your concerns are normal. Try spending 1 0n 1 time with a child you know, niece/nephew, friends child etc...If you can get diapering, feeding, burping, bathing and play time experience in with a child on a regular basis for quite a few hours per day it should help you see how you feel about kids in general cuz all that and more goes with it! It's the greatest feeling in the world to hold a freshly bathed sleeping baby!!!!

Answer 5

when i accidently fell pregnant with my first child at 25 i was terrified-I felt i was not ready for the responsbilty and all that comes with being a mother but as soon as my daughter was born that feeling vanished and everything came very naturally.I think mothers who have realistic ideas about motherhood like you, usually cope better than those who have a romantic ideal of how life with a baby is 'supposed' to be -good luck

Answer 6

You are not abnormal for thinking this way. You probably just aren't ready for children yet, maybe you should wait a few more years. You two are married, and you are young...why not wait until you are more comfortable with the idea?

Answer 7

Listen you are not being abnormal nobody is 100% sure until they have there own kids! Plus it still may be a sign that you are not ready for children!

Answer 8

noone is ever ready kids but once u become a parent it just comes to u