Ok so my mom got me a car about 7 years ago for work and said at the time it was a gift!! It was 3,000. Then i was making about $17,000 a year, now Im making about $55,000 a year and shes asking me to pay her back!! This is why i dont talk to her. I have bad feelings about it cause my Dads mom would give you the shirt off her back and not ask for anything and i have my Grams mentality!! My mother on the other hand would sue you if she fell on your property!! I love my mom but hate her attitude towards money!! I always felt like i had to earn her love, my whole life!! We havent been close in about 5 years now and shes using this against me!! I havent responded to her emails. I lived in N.J by myself and she made no advances on seeing me. Its only a 3 hour drive!! I came up every month to visit her. My point being, i made efforts to see her and she vainly(out of guilt i suppose) contacted me. When i talked to her it was negative stuff that i wouldnt bring up to my child!! What to do??
2007-10-03 19:38:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She sounds like biatch! Pay her the money slowly and if it is unplesant to see her then don't see her. She will be the one who suffers, particularly as she gets older. She is your family and it is good that you try, but there comes a point where the relationships shouldn't be so onesided.
2007-10-03 19:45:35 · answer #1 · answered by Stiffler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your mother and you obviously care about her or you would not be asking this question. You don't say how old you are or how old she is, but she could be getting older and losing some of her mental faculty and she can't help it. And she might just be a mean witch. But either way, she will always be your mother and you have to make the best of it. You don't have to like her, but you do have to love her. She gave birth to you and raised you to be a grown independent person, so you do owe her something. Offer to pay her back the money a little bit each month and tell her that is all you can afford without doing without something for yourself. She might just tell you to forget it or she might accept the offer. Either way, do whatever she wants. Paying the 3000 back at a rate of 100 dollars a month will not hurt you and if it makes your mother happy, then its a small price to pay. It could be that she really needs the money and is too proud to just ask for a loan or a handout. When she talks to you about negative stuff, just tell her "Mom, I don't want to talk about that. Lets talk about happy stuff while I am here." If she continues, just get up and leave. If she wants to see you, she will quit talking about the negative stuff when you are around.
You only have one mother and you will be glad someday when she is gone that you treated her well and you will be setting an good example for your own kids on how to treat you later in life. Money is just paper, your mother is a part of you. Don't let it get in between you.
2007-10-04 02:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by nesmith52 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say pay her for the car. If you are making 55k/yr you can easily afford to pay for your own vehicle. Perhaps it was a gift, but if you are old enough to have been driving for 7 years then you are a man. A man wouldn't be alright with having the world pay his way. Do the right thing and pay for your car.
P.S. If you were as generous as you say your gram was, you would have paid it back by now anyway. Gift or not.
2007-10-04 02:54:18 · answer #3 · answered by smartyness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mail her the 3000.00 and don't bother with her again I wish my husband would do that with his parent. His mother is an RN in the ER and makes 65.00 an hr, his dad is now retired but also made about the same, when we were buying our first house we needed 5000.00 deposit his dad told him " I never had to ask my parents for momey why should you have to ask me for money?" . we almost lost the house my realtor who hardly knew us loaned us the money and of course we paid her back. My husband seems to think he has to gain his fathers approval last yr at x-mas he bought his dad a 800.00 camara that his dad never uses we could have spent that money on our kids and his dad could have bought one for himself oh by the way his parents gave him a package of socks for christmas and I got a cookbook ( I don't cook) give her the money and walk away GOOD LUCK
2007-10-04 02:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she gave the car to you as a gift. As a gift you are not required to pay her any money. Then ask her if she is having money problems. If you can help her help her if you cant then you can't. You do not owe your Mom anything,
2007-10-04 02:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is youre mother...............no matter how you feel or felt in youre whole life.........she is still youre mother who gave you life...........so now you are earning enough money to pay her the money back...............that is not a big deal..................give her the money and talk to her.................and i bet you feel good after all that...................good luck......!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-04 03:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by night_age_germany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her and tell her how you feel.
2007-10-04 02:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by blackbomb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋