dating for so long then marriage?

Question

Ok my boyfriend said he didnt want to marry me at 22 cause we'd be rushing &might end up divorce but then i said 25 & he said we'd still be rushing probably just to have kids and could end up divorced & since he wants to get married at 30 i was like we could get married at 30 than you might be sick of me since we dated so long &get divorced but he said im so easy to be with. Can you really date someone for like 11yrs than get married & be together the rest of your lives & not get bored or sick of each other? Like i love him & i figured out if i have to wait i will but i dont get his point cause anytime you can get divorced it doesnt matter what age.. What u think?

I'm 18 he's 19..i dont want to rush but i think you can get divorced anytime even if we both dont like divorces. but i think if we actually date 11yrs why would he want to get married he might be sick of me since thats a long time to be together.

has any1 dated a long time like 7+ yrs before marriage? did it work?

how can you keep a relationship interesting over those years so he doesn't get bored? any tricks or advice..

i still got 11yrs :( and we love each other and want to be happy and together forever.

he gets bored fast or use to with all his ex's so i want to know things to do to keep it going good and him happy

i've questioned it cause he use to be the one talking about marriage and mind change now. like someone said if we r together that long why not commit it doesn't make sense.

we just talked about this yesterday and it's still on my mind... like i dropped it with him cause i figure maybe later on he'll change his mind mainly if he does love me like he says and we r together a long enough time.. i try thinking positive we both have said we'd never want to get a divorce we'd both try making it work if something went wrong cause there r ways to fix it.

it was weird the other night i said something about my friend being engaged, like every1 i know is engaged and i told him about my guy friend is engaged cause hes jealous over this guy friend cause my past with him and he said we can get engaged and i was like engaged for 11 yrs thats a long a** engagement

Answer 1

To me personally, when I hear of someone dating a long time before marriage, like 5 years or more, I question their commitment.
30 is a great age to get married, so is 25. If you both know you want to spend the rest of your lives together then why wait 11 years?
The younger the couple the higher the divorce rate...it's just the way it works. You would both benefit from counseling, especially marriage counseling do determine whether or not you should get married in the first place.
My husband and I dated a year before we got married. I was 21. We are going strong and have no intentions of getting divorced. Anything can work, as long as your both determined and committed.

Answer 2

I feel you will have to date decades earlier than you even keep in mind marriage. The honeymoon section of relationship lasts the primary yr and a part if now not longer to start with. You're blinded by way of how excellent you suppose your massive different is, the whole lot is distinct, you've intercourse always, there are not any fights, and so forth and so forth. There are a number of steps and stages that occur throughout relationships. I suppose you have to get via the primary 3 earlier than you'll be able to even significantly keep in mind whether or not or now not you will have to be marrying the opposite individual. You have to cross via stages one million-three, section three being the make or holiday section. Where you begin seeing your companions flaws, you begin arguing, circumstances come up, and also you discover that your massive different is not excellent. Little matters begin to trouble you, you will get angry plenty. If a pair can get beyond section three, then they're a powerful couple and a wedding can be a positive one. This is why I suppose 50% of marriages fail. Couples get engaged throughout the honeymoon section, and suppose they have located "their one." When actually it is simply the section that's excellent for every person. They get married and best THEN do they begin going via the following 2 stages, they usually discover "Woops. We don't seem to be quite clicking as a pair, we do not pop out more potent after arguments, we aren't on a fantastic groundwork, I can not stand you... divorce." I've been with my boyfriend just a little over a yr now. I'm 26. Most of my peers are engaged, or already married. I'm simply now not there but. I do see it because the most likely results that I will marry this man, nevertheless I suppose we will have to be relationship a further yr and a part earlier than that even occurs.

Answer 3

18 and 19 are too young to get married now. IF you are still together at 24 and 25 that might be more reasonable. And he may change his mind by then. If you are still together at 30 and still not married (barring a disbelief in marriage - which it doesn't sound like either of you have) there is something wrong or fishy. Why won't he make the commitment? But that is a long time away. You still both have a lot of growing and changing to do.

Answer 4

You two are VERY young to even be talking about this. When a guy is 19 he usually thinks he's never going to get married. He is smart in not wanting to get married too young but you just have to see where life takes you and how you both feels after a few years. If you are both truly right for one another and love each other everything will be fine. Just don't rush things or get too far ahead of yourself.

There is a site that has a lot of free info. Its called Dating Training. it has a ton of info and I know I've seen things about keeping relationships fresh, etc. I put the link below in case you are interested.

Good luck

Answer 5

I confess, I was a fool that waited 12 years. When I finally said that it was time to make the commitment or move on, he moved on!! Not only did he move on, but with all of the furniture, and everything else that WE invested in together, since it was all bought in his name, not in both. I never thought about saying that we needed to put my name on the receipt, even though I was putting money into the home too. He ate the groceries I bought, used the utilities I paid for, wore out the furniture I originally had (he had nothing when we got together), but I did not get one thing other than what I could prove I had purchased with my own money!!

I had to start over with very little of the basics, and he even got the house that I picked out, completely decorated and landscaped on my own!!!

The icing on the cake is that he went back to his ex wife that took him for everything that he had 14 years prior, including his home, two of the vehicles, the furniture, spousal support, and child support. For the first 8 years, we could not even afford to go out to dinner unless I paid!!!

There is no way I can get those years back!! He literally took 12 years of my life, and I ended up with the shaft!!!

Don't wait that long for a commitment. Don't invest that much of your life in something that is so unsure. He could up and decide he never wants to commit to you after you have invested all of those years. Three or four years is long enough!! If he can't commit by then, do yourself a favor and leave. Don't fall for the excuses!!!

Good Luck. I hope that you will be smarter than I was. Don't let your heart overrule your head!!!

Answer 6

u r not even married and u r thinking about divorce? that's like, u havent done anything but u r thinking about finishing it.

anyways, to answer ur question, why would u think u guys cant get through it? i mean, how many parents and couples have been together till death? why dont u think the positive way, that u guys can make it because u guys love each other so much! and not the other way around!

wish u luck!

Answer 7

at 30 he is still to young
and assuming you are around for 11 years ( i doubt it ) he'll discover a few things
one if you hang for that long, then why get married? there is no benefit for him, only you benefit from it. you can still have kids outside of a marriage, and it goes south then regardless he'll still have to pay child support, but will not have to pay you any alimony or lose half of his assets
the other thing he'll realize is that other women will want him'
if he's got a good education
and a good career track
and that means you have competition
so be like Toyota,,,, number 1 right now... and not like GM.. number for for a very long time to come

Answer 8

it sound like both of you are quite young and you got the rest
of your life.. he may feel that now is not the time.but there no
rush. you have plenty of time. if things are good with you then
leave it along. and be happy. but you are right you can be
marry for a long time and get divorce or a a short time.
but when the time is right for you both then you will know.

Answer 9

If you get bored after 11 years of dating, then you'd get bored after 3 years dating, 8 years married. Just because you aren't married and you get bored doesn't suggest that the vows of marrage woluld lessen the bordem.

Answer 10

hmm i'm not sure how well it works out in the marraige but i do know that one of my teachers who is going through that kinda thing. she's been dating this one guy for about 10 years i think but they decided to get through college and pay that off before they get married. i think that they are engaged though, if that helps lol
~Jaz