me and my bf had 10 months relationship that we both considering really really love each other. he is 14 years older than me. i lied to him from beginnig about my real nationality and job (i am a last year uni student). and he found out one night by me left email open.and i have practically living with him. therefore dont have my own place two weeks before he find out my lies. and he is very angry and want a break to think things through, but i have got exams since and very stressed. his parents passing opinion on him that i am with him coz i want to use him for money and confort(since he is older and financially advanced than me). he is not rich, but not poor. i loved him and kept the lies going on coz i really dont want to lose him, i cried often as i fear the lies could destroy us (he makes me happy and know how to love me). we fight a lot, as i didnt find a suitable place to move out, he treats me very badly these days. but sometimes show guilt and treat me nice.
2007-10-03 17:46:44 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he told me he needs his space for a while, and depends how he feels whether we get on our relationship again if he misses me terribly. i have stayed in him place for four weeks due to preparing exams. and he grows resentment toward me sometimes. he sense the longer it takes me to leave his house the little change we get back together. we used to be very very close, i miss those feelings, but he now treat me very very bad, hurts my feeling and dignity, he even told he doesnt care how i feel i think anymore, as he thinks i am selfish and dont give him what he needs, being alone and not pushing him to commit immediately. i dont know what's the best, we are distanced now, as i am so hurted with his emotion withdrawal and sometime nice sometime bad behaviour toward me...he divorced by the time i met him, i sense there is anger problem from his last marriage and he used to be manipulated by his ex and very soft person, his mother try to remind him dont be :manipulated" by my feelings..help!
2007-10-03 17:51:43 · update #1
he carries lots of stress still due to the dispute over the divorce settlement. his ex ask for lots of money without much contribution (he felt he had been taken advantage by her) ...i found him a nice lawyer, and he is with it now. the stress over his divorce settlement makes him no time thinking of us but venting anger one me sometimes..i feel hurt, and i even feel that my heart is wrong by holding on to love him, as how could he treat me nice after treat me so badly?
2007-10-03 17:56:09 · update #2
this is a really complicated situation but if He is mature enough he probably is gonna understand u but not know he need some time so be patient don't lose your faith on your relationship all of us had ever lie at least once in a relation ship so try to give him the space and think how to solve the problem on your side talk to him when he feels more relax about everything give him the benefit and be honest, next time
2007-10-03 17:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to him my reason that I felt that I had to lie but Honesty is the best policy and now I hope it is not too late.He may be scared now to trust you like before and it will just take time for him to trust you again.Give him the space he needs and that way he can think and if he doesn't want you back then as hard as it may be then you have to move on with your life and learn from this...Never lie! Sorry but let him know you were scared too.
2007-10-04 01:06:34 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wasnt the lies started this trouble try being honest as well it works , my opion/
2007-10-04 00:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋