i'm gonna hav a step-dad soon n i feel so alone.Plus i miss my real dad.wht am i suppose 2 do?

Question

hes a nice guy n everythin but hes jus not mite dad.i also feel sad tht mum seems 2 b spendin so much more time wit him den she used 2 wit us and thts not fair on her part.i know i'm bein a lil selfish but i cant help feelin this way...wht am i suppose 2 do?

hes a nice guy n everythin but hes jus not mite dad.i also feel sad tht mum seems 2 b spendin so much more time wit him den she used 2 wit us and thts not fair on her part.i know i'm bein a lil selfish but i cant help feelin this way...wht am i suppose 2 do?
my real dad passed away hen i was 11.
i'm don trust any1 enough 2 jus sit n talk 2 them...

Answer 1

Sucks I know -- my kids went through this stuff.

Sit down and talk to your mother. I am sure she is thrilled to have someone else in her life, but make her aware that you need some alone time with her too. She has probably overlooked that without meaning too.

My dad died when I was 40 and now my mother is dating another man. He is a wonderful man and he is so good to my mother, but I remember feeling weird about it too (and I am 40 freaking years old!). You aren't alone and what you are feeling is normal. It is ok to be a bit selfish. Things will work out better with time, you will all adjust to one another and learn to be a family together, it will just take some adjustment on everyone's part.

Good luck

Answer 2

First of all , your mom has to be happy first , this thing about kids first is a load of crap when it comes to being happy , If your mom is happy , then and only then can she make you happy , your needs in life come before hers of course such as food, clothes etc. If your mom dumps this guy , and stays home with no life things could get bad for you , because she would not be happy all the time , no feel she has a life due to being stuck at home alone with you ....

give this guy a chance to make your mom happy , I know he is not your dad ,he can replace him , I do not know where your real dad is , but this guy here is not there to replace your father .... I have a step daughter so to say , I have lived with her mom for 11 years but we are not married , but this 12 year old girl stays with us , and see's her dad on weekends , she tells me all the time how much she wished I was her dad , all I can tell her is I am not her real dad , but I am a step dad , which means no matter what , if dad can not help , I can step in , which is what a step dad does , he steps in when the real dad can not be there , you are lucky this guy is nice to you , and your mom , now that your mom is happier with this guy , better things will happen to you , and your mom , You have to let mom find happiness , don't you think she deserves it ? I know you miss your dad , that is normal , but try not to let that mess up with the feelings you have for your mom finding happiness .....Talk to your mom , tell her you want the whole family to something together , give this guy a chance OK , It is easier to accept this as it is , and make the best of it , than it is too sit back , being bitter and mad , and them stay together , .....be glad your mom has found happiness.

Answer 3

communicate on your mom with regard to the way you sense approximately your doorstep dad.. you somewhat could be attentive to your mothers thoughts, as long as he's treating your mom good, there is not any reason to hate him,if he yells at you,have him clarify why is he yelling at you, with that stated, you and him might could locate the thank you to get alongside, if not, the only which will land up harm is your mom,and you do not prefer that throughout the time of your ethical experience, on the different area of the token,your doorstep dad could be mature adequate as an grownup to handle you as your flesh and blood..i'm telling you from journey,its confusing on the two factors,yet once you fee your mothers happiness adequate only like your doorstep dad does,each and every thing will fall into place.. issues gets extra clever once you're older..

Answer 4

Talk to your Mom quick and let her know how do you feel about this issue. It will bather you so much as soon as he moved into your space. I urge you to get counseling and call your dad at the same time. You need to contact your real dad as soon as possible. Do not hesitate to ask and I am sure you are ahead of the game. It is the right time to speak up and You will be happier if your real dad and mom listen to your need.

Answer 5

When I was younger i got a step dad also,HATED his guts at first for taking my mom .We actually had a fist fight when I was seventeen , I broke his nose .Thing is, We're like family now.
It's cool to realize that you actually can have another , albeit pseudo, dad that does really care.No matter what ,call your real dad and spend as much time with him as you can. He'll most likely get you another "pseudo mom" and you will have double the love if you just let it happen.Trust your parents and love them for being your parents and the rest comes easy.

Answer 6

It is right for you to feel this way. You did not ask to be brought in to this world and you did not want your parents to get devoriced. anyway maybe this will help you. sit down with your mom and ask her to spend at least one night aweek with you it don't have to be the same day every week where you to go out and do something together alone. and then do one night where you let her and your step dad have a night out without you a week. maybe also ask your mom for more time with your father because you miss him so much. Maybe like when your step dad and her want to go out and do something maybe you could stay with your dad. My heart goes out to you I have three step sons who i love dearly there mom walked away from them and there dad is a truck driver who is gone alot so I can understand how you feel my parents also got a devorice when I was nine. Just sit down with your mom and talk to her she will understand I 'm sure she would. also maybe you caould ask your step dad to maybe let you have a night with your mom and let him know it not because you don't like him you just kind of feel left out and would like some one on one time with her. good luck.

Answer 7

been there....done that....i know it seems like your mom spends all the time with that guy and you think that your becoming like the old apple sauce everyone leaves in their backpack over the weekend.....i like my step dad too..but...sometimes i just want to be with just my mom!!! so...i talk to my mom...i let her know that i want to spend time with her alone....and if it's just too weird to spill your guts to your mom...then spill it to your closest family memeber...like an aunt or grandma and they can pass it on.....your not being selfish...your just not used to sharing your mom and your mom isn't used to juggling most of her time with two people she doesn't mean to....she just doesn't realize it....i couldn't help feeling that way either...but eventually my mom pulled through...o...i miss my dad a lot too! he lives a bit away and i barely get to see him...but whenever i miss him i call him...sometimes even talk to him about how i feel...at least you can have your dad to be close to during the hard time....good luck...just remember your not selfish!!!....your just not used to it...it's just a big change!!! changes suck huh!! but changes can sometimes be worth it in the end...i no...i no...your probably thinking not this one...thats what i would of thought about this time in my problem...but once you warm up to the change you'll realize your thankful...in a way....but you wont warm up over night ....so bond and have your dad or a friend to talk to...dont keep it bottled up...but dont always think about that and be sad...if you have to think of your favorite vacation...or funniest moment with a friend...or occupy yourself with busying up your schedule....good luck!

Answer 8

I am a new step mom of almost 3 years. I notice that my one step daughter was feeling left out, I tried to explain to her that her father and I are new at our relationship and we did spend a lot of time together and as much away from the kids as we could to be alone...kids can't understand this and we as adults should relize this. Now I have my husband spend one on one with his kids and some vacations without me. I hope that you can take your mom aside and explain to her the importance of one on one...I hope that things work out for you and that you can have a good relationship with your new step father...remember he is new at this too,,and he has to get to know you, be patient with him, and stay close to your mom...

Answer 9

Let her know how you feel.

she may be un-aware that you feel neglected..


and the only way she can change things is if you tell herr


she will understand

Answer 10

Life is ruff bite the bullet and be tuff