When I ask him to do something for the kids he always says "why don't you? I've done more for them than you ever could"
it really hurts 'cause after working all day I think we should SHARE to kids chores.
He didn't chose to stay home, but our son has had some serious health problems and needs 1 of us. I happen to make 2x what he could make. so I do
How do I make him understand that my working all day cancels out his staying home and that when I'm off we need to share. Oh yeah, I also think he should be doing household chores while the kids nap. What so you think?
2007-10-03 16:44:46 · 10 answers · asked by in COGNITO * 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
noodles
did you even read my question? when I get home we should SHARE! and yeah he should be doing SOMETHING while the kids sleep for 3 hours
2007-10-03 16:57:07 · update #1
I agree. He should help out more. Three hours is enough time to get a lot of work done. Especially if your house isn't too big. He should do 80% of the chores. All you should have to do is spend quality time with him and the kids.
2007-10-03 17:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by Got Curves? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first,there are some serious "me" problems here,i know you said "we should share", and thats fine, but you also have to realize that ,yeah he is at home and probably cant make as much as you,look at it from his perspective for a moment,he is at a low ebb in his life being the "one who doesn't bring home the bacon",and thats hard for a man to consume.
He needs praise when he does something,no matter how small, and he needs it from you.
Why? because he is still there and believe it or not still loves you. And looks upon you as some level of self worth.he doesnt need to be told this,but shown, or a simple thank you for doing(whatever),sometimes a little courtesy and being treated like a human being can go a long way.
gve both of you some talk time when you get home,
Example: 10 minutes of bitchin about work and thats it..times up..and then let him have tem minutes of bitchin about work at home,and thats it. get that out of the way, and do chores together,and just talk about the weather or something,maybe the news,anything but negative stuf, hell even joke around a little, the rest of the day is family time,devote that to dinner,homework, and family,TOGETHER.
And for pete's sake, treat yourselves and get out of the house on weekends,thats a must,he has been couped up in that house all week get up and go somewhere!!you prolly want to get outside too!!i know the kids would love it, they always love going somewhere together.
2007-10-03 17:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be grateful that he wants to stay home with the kids in the first place.
Yeah some of the house work should be done, but as a mum you should know, that what you want to get done and what actually gets done are 2 different things.
You sound a little demanding to me, if somethings not donbe when you get home, then do it!
Yes he should help, but rubbin into his face that your working and earning 2x as much is wrong.
2007-10-03 16:51:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
omg....you have turned into a man. are you serious??? he needs a break too!! look at it this way. say you get home at 6:00pm. bedtime for the kids is at 8:00pm. that's two hours. give him one hour to break. you handle the kids for an hour. then the next hour you spend TOGETHER getting the kids ready for bed. then spend the next 30 minutes doing house chores TOGETHER so you two can relax for the next hour and a half as a couple.
and just to let you know, i am a stay at home mom with three kids and one on the way. working through that nap times is exhausting. i am up from 6:30am cleaning, cooking, entertaining 3 kids, taking two of them back and forth to school, helping with homework making dinner for the kids, making a seperate dinner for my husband. then i have to stay awake until 12am or later because the hubby doesn't want to go to bed until then. did i mention the 8 month old still wakes up at night? and my hubby will never get up to feed him at least once because it's not his responsibility. let the man have a nap!!! i only get 30 minutes of internet time to relax, because now i have to get up and do some more chores for the next 3 hours. it's 9:00pm right now. every 3 hours my chores are recycled. i'm freaking TIRED!!! and none of my kids have serious health issues.
2007-10-03 17:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
when i was a child my mother worked and my dad stayed home with us kids. ( he was disabled ) He always did all the chores with us kids. Took us where we needed to go, helped with homework cooked dinner and what he couldnt do was divided between me and my sisters. There is no reason why he cant help with the kids and the chores.
2007-10-03 16:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by beanodom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey all i can tell you is to remind him of when he worked and how hard it was for him when he got home and yes if he stays home he should do some work in the house that just me though ..............and days off you are right share in what has to be done...............
2007-10-03 17:22:36 · answer #6 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree,
The one that stays home is the HOME maker
2007-10-03 17:17:09 · answer #7 · answered by MissE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree
2007-10-03 16:51:20 · answer #8 · answered by lily_shaine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree totally.
2007-10-03 16:48:59 · answer #9 · answered by justagirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the first answer as well to my opion?
2007-10-03 17:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋