extended metaphors/poems?

Question

So I am writing 2 extended metaphors/poems in english but I feel that they can be inproved and be made into something so much better.

1st:
Night is
a dark blanket of mystery
for you to explore

it falls over the day
and covers it mystery
you can explore it
you can discover it
you can escape

Day and night are a natural balance
Feel them
Live them
Discover them

2ed:
Creativity is another reality
a compleatly different world
you can tune into it
you can tune out of it

You gain a whole new level of creativity
give it your sole
give it you touch
give it yourself


I want to make the second one so much better and try to express in words how I fell when I am painting/sketching in art. I just get in tune with this whole other place and everything pours out of me onto the paper like im putting part of myself into it. So any tips/suggestions would be much appreaciated.

Answer 1

How about this!

2ed:


Creativity is another reality
a completely different world
This is my chance to show you my heart
This is the start, this is the start.
you can tune into it
you can tune out of it


Here's who I am
Love me, but don't tell me who I have to be
Here's who I am,
I'm what you see
You gain a whole new level of creativity
You said I had to change and I was trying
But my heart was lying
I'm not a child any longer
I am stroooongerrrr
give it your sole
give it you touch
give it yourself

Here's where I stand,
Here's who I am
Help me, to move on but please don't tell me how
I'm on my way, I'm moving out
In this life we've come so far
but we're only who we are (who we are)
Courage of love (Courage of Love)
will show us the way (Show us the way)
Unlock the power
To stand up and saaaaa--aaaaayyy (Stand upppp)




good luck

Answer 2

the ask your self approximately metaphor is that it would not could be an instant assessment (in assessment to a simile, which makes use of 'like' or 'as'). an prolonged metaphor is a metaphor that spans the dimensions of the poem; case in point, once you're familiar with the biblical parable of the sower, it is an prolonged metaphor for the human recommendations's receptiveness to ideas. So, commence brainstorming: once you think of of love, what consists of recommendations? It would not could be classic, yet what do you think of of? And remember, you do not could say "Love is sparkling"; that's what adjectives are for-- you are able to slowly flesh out your metaphor with the intention to furnish the reader a extra stepped forward thought of what precisely it somewhat is which you're touching on. you may learn like to a plant, case in point, some thing which grows organically and develops in accordance to the ambience wherein it is grown. thus, you need not say "Love is a plant. It grows slowly, and, like a plant, demands person-friendly care and interest." somewhat, you are able to record off attributes. hire adjectives, get imaginative-- this is, in spite of each and every thing, meant to be relaxing!

Answer 3

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