I have not seen this friend in many years and we would like to go out for a drink to catch up on things. There was never and ever will be anything sexual between us as I am happily married, we just use to be good friends. Is it wrong to go out with him for a drink?
2007-10-03 14:41:22 · 30 answers · asked by mellyell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, it is not wrong but you should make sure your husband is ok with it first. Maybe you could invite your husband along too...
2007-10-03 14:44:49 · answer #1 · answered by Fiona NYC 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, there is nothing wrong, but is better to not to do it and you know why I'm saying that, for the obvious reasons. Dont' give room for things you don't want - you are a woman, he is a man, that's what it takes for things to happen.
You merged your life with your husband, the man of your life, save yourself a problem, see your friend too, you don't have to stop that part of life, tell your husband the whole story, tell him you would like to see him, ask your husband to go with you and your friend for some drinks together, and share the experience, so you guys have fun, and your husband doesn't stay alone wondering that her wife, is with another guy, having some drinks. Which is where you will end up doing.
Don't lose your friend, do the things in the right way, you seem to be the kind of woman that makes a guy happy and knows how to make a marriage work. That's the sad part of marriage, that you aren't by yourself like if you are single, but there are marriages that worth the effort and the lose of thinking "as one" person and start thinking "as a team of 2". It all depends on the kind of marriage you have, and if you are ok with having a husband alone or not at home, while you are in a bart with drinks, with another man.
2007-10-03 21:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi mellyell,
There's nothing wrong catching up with old friends even if he's a male friend. But since you are already married, there are certain things & other feelings you have to consider now. Telling your husband about it should be the 1st and only thing you need to do. I really don't recommend dragging your husband to go with you for now. Because it will make things awkward. I've been in same situations wherein a female friend wants to catch up. I brought my wife along and you might just say, we didn't get to catch up at all. In fact, we all didn't get to enjoy it. Convince your hubby that he's just a friend, nothing more. Maybe next time, invite him over at home to meet your husband. Enjoy yourself.
2007-10-03 22:22:56 · answer #3 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happily married, I am assuming that you have really open communication with him. If he's a jealous type, then invite him to go with you and your old pal. If he's not, just explain that you'd like to go out with the friend, tell him where and when, and see what the reaction is. If you hubby is cool with it, then he trusts you implicitly. If he gets upset, then either 86 the idea of hanging out with the old friend or have your hubby go with so that he sees for himself that there is nothing more than friendship between you. If you have even the slightest bit of "feelings" toward you old friend, don't put yourself in that situation. Stay happily married.
2007-10-03 22:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know... but I'm in the same situation, however my male friend is gay, so not exactly the same situation. However I AM at his house almost everyday while my husband is out. But I do let my husband know what im doing before i do it, where I go before i go, and I tell him everything that happens and is spoken of during the day. But, I think it should be fine as long as your husband understands and is compleltely comfortable with it.... why not invite your husband along for a drink as well?
2007-10-03 21:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Purrsona 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were just friends it shouldn't be an issue.
But since you're asking I'm guessing there's one of two things here. Either your husband is the really jealous type and has convinced you any contact with men is bad. Or, you were/are attracted to this friend but it never went anywhere. But now you will see him again, and the possibility has entered your mind and you're nervous.
2007-10-03 21:56:38 · answer #6 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why ask us...you should ask your husband, better yet, invite him to come along with you and your friend. If your husband is fine with you and your friend meeting for drinks alone, then that should be your answer. Or better yet, invite your friend to your home and introduce him to your husband and have drinks or dinner there. It's better to keep things on the up and up and out in the open, that way no one gets hurt.
2007-10-03 21:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by Dancing Leaf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It should be ok... If you are questioning it then you need to ask yourself why... Have you talked to your husband about it? If you are happily married then it shouldn't be an issue... Maybe you could even invite your husband... I still go out with my guy friends and my husband if very understanding of it... There shoudln't be any problems!
2007-10-03 21:46:48 · answer #8 · answered by ~Katie~ 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot, would you consider it wrong for your husband to go out with another woman for a drink? Talk to your husband, better still take him with you.
2007-10-03 22:17:33 · answer #9 · answered by D Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you ask the question indicates that deep down inside you know there's something wrong with the picture. So the answer lies with whether you can freely discuss this with hubby and whether he's okay with it.
In this situation, his decision trumps yours, just as your's would if the situation were about his seeing an old female friend.
2007-10-03 21:49:55 · answer #10 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not wrong at all. We need friends n its good to keep in contact with old friends. You're a good person n knows the limit. Go on, enjoy your drink with your friend.
2007-10-03 21:44:04 · answer #11 · answered by candie 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋