I just had a baby with my husband and things were good,i whent back to work he got promotions after promotions,we bouth a car and our budget is gatting thight.It seems like nkow that we should be enjoying things were not,were had gont sepererated 2years ago and we decided to get back together i got pregnant we didnt plan to but it just feelt right,we though that was gonna help our relationship,it did for a minute,but things just staring going down hill,he says that were stressing him too much and saying that it feels like before,preassure as in watching the baby taking the oldest one to school picking us up that he doesnt get enough sleep that hes just tired,i dont know how can he say that when im tired too i do as much as he and yet he dont see that he only sees what he does its painful seeing that he only thinks about him self i dont know what to do im just tired ijust dont want to go through argueing any longer yet i love him sooo much that im staring to hate him...
2007-10-03 14:38:13 · 5 answers · asked by hotnancy22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first, look into the "Stephen Minister" program at your church or any local church in your area. These folks can provide counseling help and it doesn't cost anything. If you don't want to try that, get professional counseling. Sounds like you both need help communicating.
2007-10-03 14:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by wolf1ibm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a child can never make a rocky relationship better. You should have a solid relationship before you bring in another person, life into it. Children can be added stress at times.
It seems that your husband is tired from working and you should give him some time to rest. Maybe you should get a job and help with the finances for a while. I am guessing but it sounds as if he is the breadwinner.
Maybe grandma, auntie or someone could watch your children a few days a week so that you will be able to work. Financial problems are not easy and can add un needed stress as well. Working only a few days should still allow you time to be with the children and take care of the home.
What ever you do dont nag him because it will worsen the situation. Family is more important than what ever "thing" you are saying that you are not enjoying. It would probably be a good idea to stop spending.
2007-10-03 14:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by momoftwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"i got pregnant we didnt plan to but it just feelt right,we though that was gonna help our relationship"
- Children don't "solve" problems, they only create more of them. You're in for the long haul. You need to sit down and have a frank heart to heart. "Where do you want to go with our marriage?"
Remember the only one you can change, is you. You can never change him or his ideas. Look at what you can do to improve the situation and say "This is what I can do, what do you think you can do?" Don't say "This is what I want you to do." or "You always do this.." If it's something that doesn't get done, and it's a unpleasurable chore (watching the screaming baby, dishes, taking kids to school) make times for each of you to do it.
If he is unwilling to work it out, pick up, and get packing because you're going to have a long road with kids. If he's complaining now, you don't want him around when it gets really rough.
I got lucky, I have a man who when we ran into problems said "I will work with you." and he has. I've had to bite my tongue a number of times because of crap I don't like, but we're together and we're happy again.
2007-10-03 14:48:09 · answer #3 · answered by S0rcy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a fine line between love and HATE...let me tell ya.
But life is busy for couples these days. So it is hard to keep the romance going with real life gets in the way.
MEN tend to only think of themselfs most of the time, or it seems that way most days.
Try going to talk to someone together and see if you can sort it out once and for all....know forsure if your making the right choice to stay or let it go.
Best of luck
2007-10-03 14:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by bigthinker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to take 5 to 15 minutes and just talk. even just a little can really help. Try to fit a small family vacation "just to get away". And i know i sound like a therapist when a say COMMUNICATE! or when he's bugging you, just sit down, close your eyes and remember the little things you like about him, and slowly let go of your frustration.
2007-10-03 14:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋