Why do effeminate men arouse anger, disgust, & disdain in both gay & straight men?

Question

What is the cause of hatred towards effeminate or flamboyant men? Why are they called "sissies", "fairies", "*******", etc.?

Why do people think that there is something wrong with being effeminate or flamboyant?

Answer 1

Because most males have it pounded and drilled into their minds from birth that men "dont' act like that." It's a learned response and it's automatic in many cases. And of course among heterosexual males, there's constant homophobic comments which keep them "in line." Most straight men don't dare voice any objection or else they are immediately viewed with suspicion by other straight men. Unless a man really stops and thinks about it and realizes that men can act differently and still be okay, there is no change in attitude. The reality is that there are all kinds of men who act all kinds of ways and it has nothing to do with being gay or straight.

Answer 2

I think this is a really good question. There is a book called 'the highly sensitive person' that explains what is going on here I think. Society is made up of a range of sensitivities from highly sensitive, to not sensitive at all. About 80% of the population falls in the less sensitive range - because they are in the majority they tend to make the 'rules' - so the rules tend to favour the type of people THEY are. Because they are less sensitive they value TOUGHNESS for example, and the reverse side of that is that they have 'anger, disgust, and disdain' for the effemitate.

Answer 3

Isn't it said that the people who ridicule them are insecure in their own sexuality? J.T.B. made a good point. I don't agree that effeminate men arouse those feelings in other gay men, or even all straight men. As for the name calling, there's not much hope for some people, they're just ignorant. Especially when they, themselves are living an alternative lifestyle, you know "people in glass houses etc."

Answer 4

Flamboyance is considered an unattractive quality in men. Liberace and Elton John were both flamboyant, and the general public both liked and reviled them. Maybe it has something to do with stereotyping. Ask black people what they think of "uncle Tom" types of politicians.

Answer 5

Contrary to what everyone else here is saying, its rather multiple reason why men react to effeminate men this way. Some see that little part of themselves in their that isnt socialy acceptable and have in turn comformed with disliking it as much as possible. others merely find them weird i guess. in my personal experience i tend to dislike only SOME effeminate gay men because there are those who merely act this way in order to fit in, they lack the skills to act like themselves and end up being fake and without a goal. I have no problem with the real effeminate men, their the best people to have fun with

Answer 6

I think it's because men in general don't like anything feminine, even in women. Having been "one of the girls" in groups before (despite being biologically male), I can tell you that women are as afraid to express too much femininity in front of men as feminine men are.

If a man is seen acting feminine, he is seen as actively rejecting masculinity and is thus considered a traitor to his gender. In a way, it's like being a communist used to be. The Cold War may be over, but the battle between the sexes is not.

Answer 7

Gay men could be seeing them as 'not being honest about their sexuality', straight men are probably just too ignorant.

Everybody has a degree of male female in their persona. We should accept this and judge the person on who they are on the inside, not on first impressions.

I've met really thuggish looking guys (skin-headed, tattooed) who are actually very kind and thoughtful. I've also met effimimate straight guys who are just as thoughtful, and a crossdresser who was a real b**ch !!

Answer 8

It reminds them of something in themselves that they don't like.

And for the second part of your question well, ironically, the world seem to think it's always "OK" to be masculine. I saw the funniest thing the other day. I saw "butchy" lesbians laughing and cracking jokes about a feminine gay man whowas sporting a pocketbook..No one laughs at these masculine women..but people will fall out on the floor when a man is even a little feminine....Contradictory to me....

Answer 9

The ones who arouse anger are generally the bit*chy type, and they know what they are doing when they do it. Sort of like children who misbehave to get attention. I think all gays know this. Flamboyant, effeminate and bit*chy men aren't that way all the time (most of them), but have an "on/off" switch and turn on the act for self-preservation. I know, I do too. To further answer your question, they are so widely disliked because they are picking up the absolute WORST traits of women.

Answer 10

youre supposed to be a man , whatever that means . the straits call gay guys fairies because we were beleived to be in association with short elf types hundreds of years ago . they call us ******* because the christians used to tie us up w peices of wood and set us on fire in the middle of town in front of a big crowd .