How do I support my friend, who's mom has cancer?

Question

My friend's mom is going through chemotherapy right now, and I don't know how to react in front of her (my friend.) What should I do to support her? What is the proper ettiquette of what I should do for her or say to her?

Answer 1

I think the most important thing for you to do is to pray for the mum. From a religious perspective, especially if she is muslim, you can advise the girl to always read quran for her
mum (especially keep reciting surat alfatiha), to advise her and the mom to be patient
and not to sound pessimistic, but one can tell if the patient is dying ( my grandfather had cancer and chemotherapy, at one point it became clear that he will not be recovering)
then keep reminding mom to say shahada and istighfar
(allahuma anta afuwun tuhibu al afwa fa3'fu any)
(god you are forgiving, you love forgiving so forgive me)
and
allahuma anta raby, la ilaha ila ant, khalaqtany wa ana abduka, wa ana ala ahdika wa wa3dika mastata3t, a outhou
bika min shary ma sana3t wa a outhu bika min thanby, fa
ighfir lee fa inahu la yaghfiru al thunub ila ant.

(God, you are my lord, there is not God but you, you have created me and I am your servant, and I perform my religious duties to the best of my ability, I seek refuge in you from the evil that I do, and I confess to you my sins, for no one forgives sins except you).

What better way have you helped your friend and her mom than through prayer?

Answer 2

Well I have some experience in this department my parents both had cancer when I was younger and believe me it was horrible for me and my friends. I don't know how old you are but we were young 18 and one of my friends and I still can't forgive her for it was unable to come to my house when my Dad was very sick she said she couldn't deal with it she also freaked out at the funerals because she had never seen a dead body. Don't do either of those things that's very bad. Just be there as much as you can take her to lunch buy her cards and little inexpensive gifts funny stuff that you know she likes. Most importantly talk about times you have had with her and her mom. It still means the world to me when my friends mention nice things about my parents. It's tough and It's really hard on friendships I hated the world for a long time after my parents died but my friends were there for me and you will be there for your friend too. Email me if you want to. I might be able to offer some advice or give you more insight on how your friend is feeling.

Answer 3

you can, support your friend mom, by just been there for her try to be your self and give her your moral spiritualand social support, this mean helping aroud the house going with her to her doctors appoinment, taking turn spending , the night, help monitor her while she sleep, spent some time reading and praying for her constanly, keep encouraging her that she would get better, please no negative behavior; ia'm telling you all of this because my daughter mother in law survived breast cancer and every one in the family and friends we did this and we stayed there with her until she got better, we all cry a lot pray a lot a lot's of sleep--- less night, we worried about her when she was , throwing-- up,sometimes she couldn't eat, and we were there by her side we never left her; chemo;;; was not easy, but she made it and keep her strenght a live , and now she is cancer free and her hair, grew back and it's more even pretier and ticker, and we are still washing over her, she has to take 2 pills for the rest of her life but she is still alive and doing, great she came over to my house today to see my daughter, and she still look, fine ;;;;;;; i wish the best for your friend's mom and i do hope and pray she recorver quickley, be bless.

Answer 4

Sarah, could I be the 1st to declare what an astonishing pal you're for being so supportive to a pal in her specific hour of prefer? this could nicely be a distinctly gentle concern as you have stated which will take an astonishing volume of will-potential and inner power to conquer to your pal. you're doing all which you're able to do for her regrettably, yet could I provide a tip of suggestion? 2 all and sundry is extra introduced at the same time whilst experiencing a similar thoughts and expressions; so in case you do get disillusioned mutually as being around such negativity and sorrow, instruct your pal which you're no longer afraid to enable pass along with her and which you sense gentle adequate to precise your inner maximum thoughts round her. enable her understand that crying is organic and the suitable journey of such an act is freeing the build-up of unfavourable thoughts. motivate her to talk cases whilst her mom became nicely, and to speak approximately issues she feels as though her mom could have performed incorrect too. this could sound unusual, yet after dying, she will have the potential to no longer have the possibility to tell her mom that she is conscious and accepts her blunders as a individual, this form her mom could be at peace with herself. provide her this opportunity. you would be purely high-quality. stable success, and please take care. -Katy

Answer 5

Your friend will probably know how you're feeling by the way you act around her. Visit your friend's Mom everyday if you have permission to. Talk to her, get to know her, because it would make your friend's Mom really happy. It shows that you're caring, and who knows, she might get worse or better than she is right now. Good luck!

Answer 6

try to be just there for her as much as u can.even if u cant do anything to help her about it she will appreciate that u are here.give her hope,and if she cry don't cry too cz it will be worst.its really hard to feel that u cant do anything to help someone but at least ur telling her that u are a true friend,in good and bad moments.and that what is the important.so i really respect what ur doing.and hoping that her mom will better.

Answer 7

well from experience I can tell you that a good freind rises to the challenge first be yourself dont have a mounrful look when you are arround them, offer to cook or take her to dinner one night .often times family members have a hard time talking about how they feel so dont be affraid to lend a shoulder to cry on (I have done this many times) there really isnt much to do but offer your support when ever you can

hope that helps

Answer 8

I asked myself this same question when my friend's mom got cancer. My advice is just be there for her. If she doesn't want to talk about it, don't force her. If she does talk about it, listen. Try not to say "Awww!" or pitiful things like that. I can't tell you exactly what to say, but hopefully you can figure it out from the circumstances.

Answer 9

just listen..Send cards to her and her mom letting them both know that they are in your thoughts and prayers. If she has children..you may want to offer to babysit so she can visit her mom. Give her a journal to write her thoughts in. Pray!

Answer 10

Just be there to listen.And it's okay to ask her questions! i know cause my mother died of colon cancer when I was 15. Good Luck!