married for 8yrs. husband is irresposible,likes to spend time with friends instead of his wife and kids.drinks beer and sometimes drugs.he hits me and ignores my feelings.does not respect me as his wife,he does not tell me where he goes.now he left me and our 4 kids here in my parents house.he is there in his parents house having fun times with his friends,he doesn't even call to know if were okey.
2007-10-03 13:20:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get rid of the drugs and alcohol, cause that is what he loves and cares about right now.
2007-10-03 13:24:47 · answer #1 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow, blessing in desguise... You might think that the fact that he left you and your kids is a horrible thing to happen, and yes, it is... But if he was being violent with you, and abusive in any other possible way... THIS is the best for everybody.
NOONE can make your husband realize anything but him... That's HIS responsibility, and if I was you, I wouldn't waste my time trying to convince him of how importart you and your children should be. He SHOULD know already.
That man has TOO MANY issues going on, and only HIM can help himself.
I know it's hard, but try to live your life based on the things that YOU can change, like your attitude towards the whole situation, try to give your kids always a smile, and look forward to a better tomorrow... Life is not only about men and relationships, though I know that the perfect ideal would be that all couples stayed together, reality is different, and the only thing we can do at times, is change our outlook and be positive.
Be strong for your kids, try to persevere without him, and if he finds it in his heart to change, get help and to come back to you and your children, well, that only time will tell. But you, you have to move on, for you and your children's sake.
Think about it this way... Some things that happen, are for the best. They may not seem like it at the beginning, but when you get over the pain and shock, you'll be able to see that more objectively.
Good luck, blessings, and be strong, ok?
There's more to life than a failed marriage.
2007-10-05 21:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean he does all of these things and you actually want a loser back in your life. I'm pretty sure you can do better than that. If he hits you, that alone is reason for you to leave him the hell alone. Do you really want your children around a person like that.? I would not let my children be raised around someone like that for nothing in the world. You need to take care of yourself and those children. You say you love him? How?? He ignores you and your feelings. Do you really think he is going to change? He is selfish and immature and probably always will be. I bet he was spoiled brat growing up...HELLO...the reason he don't call is cause he don't care about you or the children. Please...Please move on with your life...Find you someone that Will love you and appreciate you for who you are. You don't need someone pulling you down...you need someone who is going to lift you up and help make a good life for you and the children. Good luck to ya but you are the only one that is going to be able to take control of your life...Your happiness depends on you and no one else...
2007-10-03 14:46:20 · answer #3 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is living with his parents and is out drinking and doing drugs , you want him back why? he hits you and treats you like trash and you see this as being ok for your children to see ? They need a father figure so hey an alcahol abuser , drug abuser and wife beater will do ?
Time for you to stop thinking from between your legs and start being a responsible mother and be thankful he is gone , get to a womans abuse counciling meeting and start learning what real men are not trash wastes of space like him are , then go to a parenting course so you can be shown how to raise those kids with a higher self esteem and more respect for what those children need , because they dont need a loser like him as their father.
Some people never cease to amaze me.
2007-10-03 13:27:03 · answer #4 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he does not call cause he does not care and does not like to be annoyed and bothered by your nagging. if you want, read the dr laura book 'care and feeding of husbands' but, if he is so irresponsible, you must have known this before you had kids and marriage with him. so, it sounds like he is perfectly happy with how he is, you are stuck being the adult. having kids does that to a girl, sometimes not to the guy. read that book. maybe it will help,, dont nag. you sound like you hate that he is free with his friends and you are stuck, he picks up on that and does not want to be bothered with it, so, dont be that way when you talk to him. maybe you two can come to an understanding, but, you will probably have to carry more of the load. and not complain about it. see if that is ok with you.
2007-10-03 14:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
enable's look on the glaring. He married YOU. valuable, they have young infants jointly, yet they didnt' stay jointly. Ex's could paintings jointly for the sake of the youngsters. Its component of the divorce decree, and as mothers and fathers its thier accountability, married or not. Be happy he's being a solid father and staying in thier lives. Bodes nicely for all of you. The ex could be the EX, yet you are the spouse. the youngsters at the instant are not the subject i don't think of. i think of you're disenchanted he and he or she are nevertheless conversing. you're able to be able to desire to take a deep breath, look at what you have. Its not as undesirable because of the fact the image you paint. you have the prospect to apply this on your benefit. while you're solid along with his young infants, who is conscious, consistent with probability he could % extra with you? If not, get to comprehend them, you are the advantageous parent, those they arrive to to cling out with. She gets the issues, the hissy fits. Who has the extra powerful deal right here? hi. Hun they don't look to be yours biologically, yet they are your doorstep young infants and which may be merely as lots relaxing and relaxing. Make your guy or woman traditions, do stuff thier mom can't or won't. it fairly is the brass ring, take it. life is merely too short to omit out on the bigger image.
2016-11-07 04:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not make him do anything if you could he would already be acting right.The only one you can control is you. Once you figure that out you will see he is not acting like a good husband and father, why would you want him anyway? He is not calling to see if your ok because he doesn't care.
2007-10-03 13:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by Tracey W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you feel like you deserve better, you will move on. He isn't around and when he is, he's abusive, slack and helpless. You do better by yourself. Your kids deserve better. The kids have to stay with you because their father is on drugs and slack. Take care of your children and move on. You have to love yourself more then you love him. He doesn't love himself, so how is he going to love you and the children?
Put God in your life, pray and everything will eventually work out.
2007-10-03 13:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by KSR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've answered your own question. I had a husband like that. I left him. If he hits you then you shouldn't want him back. Take him to court and get custody arrangements. You can do so much better than a peice of trash like him. Good luck to you.
2007-10-03 13:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by Sara R. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey he doesn't care if you love him and if you grovel at his feet to come back "because you looooove him" he will see it as weakness and you'll be mistreated even more. To some men it's a game. One YOU will never win. Move on.
2007-10-03 13:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by Kim S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has never matured and probably never will since his parents condone his behavior. Give it up and admit you made a bad choice. It is never to late to start over.
2007-10-03 13:25:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋