Strong assertive women please.?

Question

Why is it ok for me to be a needy women that needs a man but, at the same time I cannot be allowed to be strong and assertive. I always hear my male friends say that they love a strong women, but all of them have a NON strong women. What is a strong assertive women to do?

DOC RUDY you are a real jerk, obese employees u delivered her baby got a # my butt .

I hope you are not really a doctor ,doc Rudy doc rude sounds more like it.

Answer 1

Ahhh Laura, You've just hit on one of lifes many mysterys.

There is a difference between strong and assertive women in everyday life and that same women in a relationship. Being a man..I could get into a lot of trouble by saying this...but men are really just big little boys.

We love our Mommies when we are little and mommy comes running to take care of all of our little problems but as we get older, we try to show off a little and pretend like we know everything we need to know to do it all on our own.

Men like strong, assertive women when it comes to arguing down a price on a wide screen television, especially, if there is a big game on that night. BUT, a strong assertive woman that tells that same man that they are watching some movie on the family channel!! , well, we just cant have that kind of attitude around.

Decide what being strong and assertive means to you. Is it being bossy?? (not assertive, just controlling) Is it being inflexible once you've made up your mind? ( Not strong, just stubborn).

Try just being yourself when it comes to what you know is right. Let guys know that there are certain boundrys that you will not cross. That you have certain moral values that you wont compromise no matter how convienent or comforting it may seem at first glance.

Good luck Kiddo....on finding the right guy!

Answer 2

I heve only known strong willed women all my Life,my mother is a shrink,my sister is a successful business woman,my ex is head nurse at her Hospital,etc,etc.
I move fine along them,in fact,I can make the mistake that anything less is "weakness".
My grandmother is a "sweet old granny",homemaker all her Life,but the rest of the bright women in the family slant her or are condescending to her...(?)
Only the males are closer to her,but she would be sweet to any woman too,if they gave her a chance too.

Answer 3

You're talking to the wrong kinds of men. Men who like weak women best are desperate to hang onto their male dominance and are, therefore, not strong at all. You have every right to be strong and assertive, and if some guy doesn't know that, he isn't worth a second of your time. Best to be the woman you want to be instead of the woman THEY want you to be.

I would advise you to read the novel "The Blonde Theory" (by Kristin Harmel) for an excellent, though fictional, illustration of this.

Answer 4

Your male friends who want "strong" women are actually idiots. A strong woman is not one who fights with men. She is one who cares for her family, will be devoted to her husband and children, and will manage her career while submitting to her husband if he has her welfare in mind. That is a true strong woman. Most American women act like prostitutes and have no concept of marriage. They are not strong. They are trouble.

Answer 5

There are many ways in which a person's behavior differs markedly on the surface from what it is in private. Think of the TV interviews of neighbors of serial killers: "He seemed like such a NICE man," etc. Literature says that sexual submissives are often people in positions of worldly power. And many of the feminists I've known have assertiveness issues, really dislike conflict and sometimes resent others who happen to disagree with them. One would think at first glance that an "assertive" person would be someone very comfortable with conflict, but people comfortable with day-to-day disagreements don't usually get emotionally wrapped up in them, and can, in their greater calm, achieve effectual interpersonal results by means that are less obviously "assertive". Assertiveness of this sort usually finds a way to keep within the bounds of human decency and consideration for other's needs. And a confident assertive person isn't uncomfortable with his or her healthy human needs.
___One relevant variable here seems to be the expectation that one can go through life with only rare encounters with people who happen not to share one's beliefs, values, assumptions, and goals. People who expect this too much can paint themselves into a corner, surrounding themselves with like-minded others, acclimating themselves to ever-narrower circles of friends, and fostering even more resentment in encounters with others who are different from themselves. Many laid-back people are confident enough to pick their battles selectively, evaluate potential conflicts well,and decide not to push things when they're not important. If one has assertiveness issues, though, every such occasion becomes a personal affront or threat.
___Trust is another factor. In an honest relationship, one doesn't have to assert oneself as much. Expressing one's needs, desires, and dissatisfactions, and hearing another's in return, can often make it clear who's attached to what, and how strongly. When two people behave in good faith to one another, And attend to one another's expressive styles, then disagreements can often (not always) be reduced to two people expressing different (non-agreeing) positions, and sharing the task of finding the best compromise. No assertiveness required here, only honest expression and consideration.
___Distrust, on the other hand, makes assertiveness seem more needed than it really is. One committed to distrust or cynicism can easily any demonstration of good will on the other person's part as deceptive, and this in turn, is experienced by the other (especially if he or she is behaving sincerely) as a false accusation and betrayal. There's nothing a distrusted person can do to "prove" trustworthiness to someone who's committed to distrust. Trust requires risk, since it's beyond proof.
___Much talk about assertiveness is founded in distrustful assumptions. Those fixated on it ought to think occasionally about how distrust reinforces resistance from the distrusted one. It's a lot harder to compromise with someone treats every concession not as a gift, but an obligation, a minimum performance level to "prove" trustworthiness. The better choice for the other person is simply to end the relationship, and this may have something to do with why many who are highly concerned with assertiveness are so unhappy.

Answer 6

It takes a real man to be able to live with a secure and assertive lady. I should know: I don't allow anyone to control my life, in return I would not ever think about controlling anyone else's life. I also don't ever change my colors for anyone: they are just not worth the effort. I know who I am, and am quite proud of that knowledge. I build my life to my own specifications, and do not care what others have to say about it. I am brave enough to live my dream.

Answer 7

Worry less about what men think. That will make you stronger. And besides, we don't all think the same. Be the person YOU want to be and THEN find the man who respects that.

Same applies to men who worry about being sensitive and women going for "bad boys".

Answer 8

I have a strong woman, she's fun. Keeps it very interesting.

Just as long as you don't cross the line into bitchcraft, strong women are wonderful.

Answer 9

Thats bull. I consider myself to be an assertive woman.. IM very open and up front .... THat isnt a bad quality to have but dont act like that all the time. Guys dont want a girl that is gonna try and put them in their place. That would embarass them and make them feel weak. them want to feel like they are the masculine one... that they need to take care of theirs ... If a girl does it on her own it makes him look bad... If they know you are capable of doin it yourself .... but arent so bold with it .. now thats attractive.. make sense ? lol I hope so ... good luck

Answer 10

Women just have to live their own lives, be themselves, pursue their own dreams, and men will get used to it. i think many men DO want strong women, and genuinely seek them out--but, those that don't will just have TO GET USED TO women as equals. women must stop placating men and following them around.