my husband works away alot,and when he is home nothing really happens in the bedroom,?

Question

i am 5;9 and a size 12,but he always says im chubby,and i have a tyre round my tummy,he always says he wants me to loose weight,and do excercises,im 37 and had 3 children,he is nearly 48 with receding hair,when i ask him if he likes sex with me he says,chubbyness puts him off,butbhe has a beer belly but i love him for who he is,WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Answer 1

he`s lucky he`s getting any,,,,:)

Answer 2

Jacqui,

I'm sorry to hear your dilemma. I know how you feel as I too am size 12 and feel slightly chubby from time to time but we definitely don't need to be reminded of how we feel. I have been in a similar situation with an ex who called me chubby and it shatters self esteem. I think your husband should realise that you have given him three children and patiently wait for him at home and look after his children.

How about you turn the tables and say that his beer belly puts you off? I know it might seem childish and a bit 'tit for tat' but when he is hurt by this criticism maybe he'll see that it's unacceptable for a couple to be like this with each other.

On another note - you are tall and that will not make you look chubby at all. I think he needs to realise that he married someone special.

I hope you get some joy with this as I really do feel for you. X

Answer 3

Well its the same old thing.Guys are ok fat but not us! My son says it all the time.Hey your guy should lay off the bull on your weight.But as a fun thing I would lose to a 8 just two sizes put on a sexy top and tight pants and strut your stuff.And get your hair done everything look a knock out and get those guys lookin at ya! U will have more selfesteem and change completey.I did! Oh and his age yep! He doesnt have lead in his pencil as much.But your young and u need to enjoy it! Go for it ! Also a tidbet ! Guys his age away frm home either go with prostitutes or mastbt to internet porn.Its less work physically.Its true!

Answer 4

Hey there lady!

I'm sorry to hear that you're having problems. My man works 6 12 hour shifts and by the time he comes home, he's literally exhausted! During the week, our love life can be a little lackluster. Its frustrating because although I don't actually NEED intimacy, I like feeling close to him and I like to feel wanted....which is what most women want.

i myself am 5'8 and wear a size 12. My boyfriend also has a beer belly. We love each other though, and that's really what love is...for who that person is, no matter how they may change.

When I was feeling frustrated, I just talked to my man. I think maybe you should do the same. Tell him how you really feel.

If he still thinks that you need to lose weight, put him up to a challenge saying you will if he does. I think you're doing pretty damn good for being 37 and having had 3 kids (I haven't even had kids yet!)

Hope it all works out!

Ker

Answer 5

At 5 ft 9 and a size twelve you are no way chubby. You may gave wee bit excess skin round tummy from having 3 kids but dont we all. This guy is either having an affair or is perhaps impotent and looking for an excuse. I think you both have to sit down and talk about this or if he won't then you have to decide if this sexless marriage is right for you. good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 6

Being 5'9" and size 12 is normal. You probably look great and just need toning (I mean come on, who wouldn't after 3 kids). I hate men who compare. I know that I was extremely heavy after giving birth and stayed that way for at least a year and all the action in the bedroom nearly stopped! Rather than badger him I went on a diet and lost all the weight and some; started doing yoga. He jumped on me faster than $10Gs..ha ha I work hard to stay this way and I don't think it fair considering he has a pot belly but its all good; I remind him that its okay to have a few pounds..lead by example. I feel better about myself at least. Do what you have to do; maybe just some crunches/yoga and pilates great for banishing the belly; it sounds like. If he watches porn and sees strippers that can be where the comparing comes from too (was case in my situation) most are 20 yr old bodies never had kids (not all but most) and that is just unrealistic.

Answer 7

It is only my opinion here ...but I just don't like situations where the husband works away from home a lot! You think your husband would be happy to be with you for you and the intimacy after being apart from you when he returns home. It would make me suspicious of him that he would be so critical about the shape my body was in and wonder what he could be up to? I would be curious to discover what he is up to while away from me and keep a watchful eye out! There is to much a man can get into when his job takes him away from his family so be aware of this even if you think he doesn't fit the type!! There are escourt services, strip clubs, massage parlours set up in every town most anywhere and the best of men have been known to use them. I may be wrong here and I hope that I am but you never know about anything these days. I would do some investigating here and keep quite about it ....Check your cell phone bill... and anything that has a paper trail here just to be sure.

Answer 8

I think that you need to brush yourself off and show this man who is in control here. A size 12 is most definitely not chubby - particularly at 5 foot 9 inches. So, you have a bit of a tummy - well, you have had three children - ask him what his excuse is! If I were you, I would do myself right up, hold my head up high (do a few sit ups on the quiet - IF YOU want to) and when he shows you some attention, brush him off and tell him that you don't fancy fat balding older men. Come on girlfriend, you are not going to put up with this are you?

Oh, and go on a little shopping trip for some new clothes and perhaps a new hair style and colour - at his expense.

Answer 9

I am sorry that your husband feels free to make such judgements against you, particularly when he is no oil painting himself. He is really being very cruel and insulting which is often the symptom of a need to control. He is trying to make you feel awful so that you don't go around thinking you are the bees knees and run off with someone else. It suggests to me that he is feeling guilty - perhaps he has ideas of being with other people and is projecting that onto you. There are lots of women out there who have had children and like you, keep themselves trim and attractive. He is actually very lucky to have you and I am surprised by his attitude. If he should even mention your weight again, dont pay any attention, just tell him to go look in the mirror! Otherwise, go and glam up, hair do, new gear and so on and when he admires it, tell him he aint getting any! Also, make it clear that you are getting chatted up by other blokes in the supermarket etc and see what he makes of that!

Answer 10

I think he is very disrespectful, and for your height I don't think being a size 12 is fat honestly, i'm 4'11 and i'm a size 9. I consider myself thick lol... and you had 3 kids... I get so upset when men talk so much crap about the person they are with and what there appearance is like when they don't take a good look at theirselves before talking...

Don't let him put you down... because he's mentally messing with your head... If you think you look good the way you are and you're happy with the way your body looks than that's all that matters... tell him to lose weight and start cracking on him whenever he has something negative to say about you... see if he likes it.

If he doesn't want to have anything to do w/ you sexually then don't ask him for it or let him think it bothers you... it will have him wondering in the long run why you're not asking for it or bringing it up. let him go to you... he sounds like an a55 though, sorry to say. Hope it all works out for you. Good luck!

Answer 11

superb comedian tale i've got heard in a looong time! The punch line grow to be the icing on the cake because of the fact formerly the very final assertion, I form of grow to be thinking hmmmm that's a competent element that somebody could use something that's not getting used - then her husband's d_ _ _ wasn't getting used ha ha ha!!! I guess there are particularly some husbands in actual existence that have the comparable element!!! ;-O