I keep asking him, but all he says that it was something he tried to stop but couldn't until SHE text me and told me about it. Let me know your thoughts.
2007-10-03 08:52:30 · 32 answers · asked by fifi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The question is, does he still love you and do you love him?
If the answers are both YES, then you just need to work through this together. If one answer is NO, then something went wrong with your marriage about 18 months ago.
2007-10-04 21:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by silverfoxdmt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all this. Its awful how other people's bad behaviour can have such a detrimental effect on innocent people. He didn't try very hard to stop the relationship - 18 months is quite a long time but I suspect that he didn't see her all that much in 18 months or you would have noticed he wasn't there! I doubt whether love had much to do with it myself and he is said that he didn't - I would leave it at that. You are only torturing yourself. Spend some time with your husband and find out why he felt he needed to go outside the marriage. If you can patch things up thats great but don't feel guilty if you want to get out of your marriage now. He has broken your trust and that is never an easy thing to put right.
2007-10-03 10:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she text you and told you about it i'm sure it was because she was scorned in some way, like he would not leave you for her or something like that. do men ever love the "other" women? i think most of the time it's an adventure over love. there are too many obstacles in the way of making a meaningful relationship - the lust factor, the adventure, sex with someone new, trying to keep it a secret, etc. that prevent the actual love factor coming in. i doubt he loved her, but in my opinion that would not make what he did any less hurtful nor does it make it ok that he did that. there's no way he will ever confess to you that he loved her as he know that it would only devestate you to hear that, so don't think you will ever get an answer. instead, get him to tell you why he did it in the first place, and the correct answer is: because he was selfish. if he could admit that, that's huge. don't let him blame you for his actions either. he needs to take full accountability for what he's done. good luck
2007-10-03 09:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He tried to stop!! I'm sure if it lasted 18 months he could have found a way. So I take it she made him have affair? This guy has been found out and is trying to put blame on other woman by sound of it. Gutless wonder! No he didn't love her, he only loves himself!!
2007-10-03 12:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by littleangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if my husband had been having an affair with another woman for 18 months, I would be in the divorce courts. He has broken his marriage vows, maybe you should open your eyes and have a bit more respect for yourself than to waste your life on someone who clearly has no regard for you.
2007-10-04 04:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there was a strong attraction there at the very least. He is bullsh!tting you if he says he tried to stop it. If she hadn't tried to force his hand to choose between you and her by texting you to tell you, chances are he would still be seeing her behind your back.
Why be concerned whether he was in love with her or not? For a year and a half he lied to you and conned you. "Loving" someone else doesn't make that kind of behaviour more acceptable/understandable nor does it give you any greater reason to be upset with him. He cheated, end of story.
2007-10-03 16:43:32 · answer #6 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think infatuation takes 6 months to get over ! to a yr.He really may have not ever loved her but he was having sex with her and that is why guys have affairs mostly.I would never lower myself to ask him if he loved her anymore.It makes u needy and undesireable .Look u need to get a life ! He is on his own.As in 18 months with someone else......Move on and make it clear u will not look back .I did it and glad I did .He still goes out on his new wife ! They never change.
2007-10-03 09:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she hadnt told younthen i expect it would still have been carrying on and you would be none the wiser.
If it was carrying on for 18 months then he must have felt something but not strongly enough to leave you for her.
He must not love you enough to do this to you.
I say you are better off without him, dont worry if he loves the other woman, find someone who loves you!
2007-10-03 09:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i to have been there it just happened thats what he told me but the calls all the hours of the day and night sometimes 18 in one hour from HER really did get on my nerves but it just happened another 5 times so he said, i dont love her i lov you is what the rat said each time i want u not her
hello then leave her alone stop letting ur d##k rule
get rid i did
its not worth the heartache
2007-10-03 08:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by JANICE N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's kind of weird, but somehow, guys can seperate the different kinds of love (if you want to call it love)....
The same way people can love an animal, like a dog as much or more than thier own sister.... a guy can love his GF and seperate it from you.......
I'm sure he learened his lesson and won't be doing that again anytime soon..... one thing about affairs, once they get caught, they don't want to try that again... at least for a few years....
The best way to measure the affect is by the way he treats you today.... you'll know... trust your instincts.
2007-10-03 08:58:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋